Hail G226 Freeps,
We thought your elves could do with a little help seeing as they’re getting a little short on the ground. Take this elf help guide…
I’'m OK, You’re a Gnome!
By Jolly Elfani and Happy Elferson
Let’s face it, it ain’t easy wearing green. The pressures on elves to be impish rogues, tireless workers and magical spirits at the drop of a pointy hat can be intense. As a result, even the most hardworking elves can “lose their twinkle” from time to time and find themselves acting like a boorish gnome or a cloddish troll.
Thankfully, with the I’m OK, You’re a Gnome system, Elrond’s little helpers can work through all the stages of psychological growth, from Troll to Gnome to Elf. Learn to:
Maximize your fully-actualized jolly Elf Self
Minimize your emotional Troll Toll
Banish your Inner Gnome to the retirement home.
Or…the latest from Rivendell Press…
Everything I needed to know, I learned in Elrond’s Workshop
Leg Lass & Arrr Wen
Uncommon sense awaits in this pithy little gem, which plumbs the depths of elvish wisdom. Basic politeness, innate industriousness and cheeky good cheer are some of the “workshop virtues” elves can take home with this charming classic.
But of course it’s not all nicey-nice at Imladris. This book also teaches how to tackle these tough problems:
How to spot lazy tree planters who want you do all their work.
Coping with elf anonymity (“People know the names of Elrond’s family, but who can name a single dunedain?”)
Avoiding sweat-shop jobs in the tree-based cookie industry.
Sidestepping conversation-stoppers like “Funny, you don’t look Gnomish”
Get these books from your friendly bookseller at Moria.
Ahky