THE LIDLESS EYE, ISSUE 2
Good Day,
Whilst on my walking tour of the vales of Gondor, taking the
righteous word of our LORD and his Holy Book to the heathens, I have
been almost daily hailed by messengers from the Lords of the 10
kingdoms with news from around Middle-Earth. Therefore I`m pleased to
share this with you all, Nazgul, Freeps or Neutrals!
I have been quite shocked at the state of the people of the so-called
wealthy Gondor nations! Most of the villages I have passed through
have been shorn off their young men; the elderly and women tend the
fields. Apparently the fey IMRAHIL [he of the enormous, ghastly
wardrobe] and the Insane house-burner DENETHOR have passed new laws
conscripting all able-bodied men for their Capitalist Revolution. We
know they are pawns in the Elven Conspiracy, but a reckoning is
coming. Oh Yes! Praise and HAIL THE LEADER!
I have also been pleased to find many baubles lying around
unprotected in the Gondorian townships, which will go to feed the
poor of Middle-Earth, even while the "Free" neglect their own!
But let me tell you news from abroad
Minas Morgul will be the scene of the first major battle this week,
in the War of Liberation! The huge forces of the free were victorious
at Osgiliath last turn and pressed on to the Witch-King`s capital,
where they are met by forces of MURAZOR, REN and the DARK LTS. We are
nibbling our claws in trepidation at the outcome of this battle, it
will be a close-run thing as to whether the capital will survive.
MURAZOR may have to relocate to his holiday home in the North. Those
nasty Rangers [I wish they would wash, yuck!] and Inbred Woodmen also
took two minor camps from the WK last turn.
There is better news for the Dark Servants at Dilgul [4217] where the
forces of UVATHA the Long Rider surprised and unseemly party of
Northmen and Dwarves. According to reports the Dwarves were all drunk
on spirits, chasing anything in a beard and the Northmen were swathed
in gold-lame counting the dinner cost of the "get-together" with
their abacuses! Good news is that both "armies" are expected to
perish under the blades of Easterling soldiers from Olbamarl! Hoorah!
The Freeps seem to be pursuing a laughable policy of picking off our
camps with little armies all over the place whilst we lay them down
enmasse elsewhere! Plugging the dike with your fingers, Elf-lovers?
Steady there
We cannot understand their policy at Dol Guldor; only last turn a new
Woodmen army of a mere 100 troops attempted to attack the much larger
Dragon Lord army there, resulting In the capture of GUROMIR the Tree-
"hugger". What are they up to? It seems they have all their eggs in
one basket
but what if they fail?
The Long Rider also burnt a Silvan settlement at 2915 last turn and
then ran into an inferior Rohan army under ELFHELM whilst enroute to
Dol Guldor. More Horse-Boys will die this turn to satisfy Elven
Bloodlust! Some success for the pointy-ears was found at Goblin-Gate,
where pretty-boy Glorfindel narrowly defeated a Dragon Lord army
there. It may fall this week
All this aside, it has been pretty much a PHONY WAR. I think things
will change in the upcoming weeks and hope to be reporting success
for the 3000 Year Empire of OUR LEADER, SAURON!
I bid you farewell, and seek all communications with Neutral nations
interested in eradicating the Elven Peril!!!
I am your servant,
MURMUR of DURTHANG.
