Good day, all subjects of the Emperor SAURON!
What a ghastly week i`ve had; the weather has turned bad, all of a
sudden, quite ruining my hiking holiday in Gondor. I stopped to
shelter in this lovely little grotto in the hills and was amazed to
come across some shining runes. I immediately sent messengers to
Durthang and couple of good friends arrived to help decipher them.
Waiting just inside the cave i was accosted by a rather dishevelled
elf-type, and his "mistress", a frigid-looking She-Elf who appeared
to have swallowed a sour-plum. "Ah`m GALANDEOR of Caras Galadhon" he
said "ootside fur a square-go!" I actually think he was challenging
me to a fight. I announced that i didn`t have anything of value, that
my friends had already departed with the shiny ring he kept babbling
about and that he was wasting his time. i was too busy to fight him,
and , anyway, i thought him beneath my dignity to dispatch. "But
GALADRIEL wannnttts it" Enough of your tortured lovelives,i thought,
she REALLY shouldn`t be wandering alone with such a lacklustre
bodyguard as you! Look what happened to Elrond!!! Anyway, i left them
to it.
So that was my week, i do hope things look up in the near future,
those Pointy-Ears are still hanging around...but what of other news,
i hear you say?
In RHUN, the Long Rider continues to tie-up Freep resources and
destroyed another army at the Ruins of Dilgul last week, only to be
met by two small navies from the Northmen and Silvan nations there.
Such has been the success of UVATHA that there are rumours at court
of a promotion to 1 of 9. Given MURAZOR`s poor showing so far this is
not such an unreasonable proposition...however at 2715 [Dol Guldor]
MORNADAK`s glory finally came to an end, outnumbered by armies from
the Woodmen, Sinda and Riders of Rohan. There was some good news
there, however, where FEAMIRE the elven conspirator was relieved of
his sorry life. So go the enemies of KHAMUL!
Erebor, has become a place of Woe for the Elven nations, following
last weeks decapitation of El-Drone the Molester, Curunir of the
Silvans followed him to an early grave and gave our operatives a
lovely bracer as a parting gift. How kind they are for money-
grubbing, power-mad conspirators...
The Woodmen continue to dazzle Mirkwood with their military
genius..NOT! Having had two armies wiped out at their capital last
turn, in large part due to the presence of the Ice Drake LOMAW in
OGROD`s dragon lord army, they sent a large force back to their
capital. i can only think that the same fate will befall them as
their predecessors; meat for a dragon`s dinner!
Mount Gram saw the end of the Fire King`s brief stay in the north as
a whole battalion of smelly, dunadan rabble helped a gang of spirit-
sodden stumpies destroy the town there. What a waste, i guess REN
will have to retire to his holiday home in the south now.
Minas Morgul remains the hotbed of contention with North Gondor in
particular desperate to make some headway there, however, last week
the Riders of Rohan cavalry under ERKII were destroyed by a Fire King-
Dark Lts co-alition and the unfortunate commander lost his life. His
head was placed next to BOROMIR`s on the high turret of the tower
there and his body thrown on a dung-heap. Why come all the way to
Morgul to die, when you can do it in your bed at home? But still the
Gondors, no doubt at the behest of their Elven masters press on;
ARGIRION, fresh from torching an undefended Barad Perras [what
daring, what courage!] arrived with the remnants of his army and the
company of a fresh-faced Princling FARAMIR, do his father and
grandfather value his life so little after the demise of his older
brother? Keep the matches away from DENETHOR is my advise to the good
citizens of Minas Tirith!!!
So that is all the news, beyond dull reports of gondorian camp
placements and arnorian crop rotation, that i care to share with you.
Be not deceived that i know much more and hope to be alive next week
to tell you all about my adventures. The neutrals remain silent and
suspicious of our good intentions, but we can wait, the Free
offensive has ground to stalemate and soon our numbers will push them
into the Anduin. A wash could not hurt them if the truth be told...
MURMUR of DURTHANG