THE LIDLESS EYE, ISSUE 6.
Things are getting interesting oop north! The Freeps have been so
bent of destruction in the Ithil Vale that they have ignored the poor
relations of the Darks Servants in Dol Guldor and Angmar! Do they do
so at their peril or is there some masterplan? Last week at
Maethelburg BOLG OF THE NORTH proudly unfurled the Banner of the
Lidless Eye and routed BORKs Woodmen band capturing the dancing bear
in the process. He is destined for the games in the Amphitheatre of
Barduath! Bolg remains at the Woody back-up assessing his options.
Should he support KHAMUL in Mirkwood even as DURAN mops up elven
settlements, or should he head across the mountains to Rivendell?
Well, what would you do?
At Goblin-Gate the Fire King has a new winter residence, but is being
visited by unwelcome guests in the guise of the scruff ARAGORN and
his broken sword, and Pretty-Boy GLORFINDEL the musical elf back to
avenge his stained breeches from an earlier ignominious visit. Let`s
see what deviance he gets up to this time. One more mistake and the
Terrible Twins will be recalled to lead the Kingdom of the Fallen Elf-
Conspirator EL-DRONE. Do you see how I manage to work that into every
issue? Clever, huh?
The "mighty" nation of RHUN has jumped sides once more, their
attention attracted by the highest bidder. How tiresome. When will we
ever know where their loyalties truly lie? At the moment they are
enchanted by the Elven Conspiracy and an outside chance of being
amongst it`s leaders. It would not surprise me if they change their
minds again. But their pleas will not be heard in Barad-Dur, and
their reputation as a fighting force quicker to retreat than advance
does not inspire dread in Mordor. We shall say no more of them, the
plains vagabonds, the gypsies! They shall join the pyres with the
rest of the unwashed, mongrel nations as SAURON once more becomes
Lord of Middle-Earth, Leader of the 3000 Year Empire!!!
CUE APPLAUSE.
3017 has finally fallen to the Inbred Woodmen thanks in major
part to the bankruptcy of the Dog Lord, still do not fear his assets
have already been incorporated, the Dark Servants remain defiant even
as the odds stack 12 to 9. That Southern Nation has also shown its
true colours [we think] by siding with the Conspirators, but they
will no longer be spoken of and any deeds they might perform will
never be heard because they are IMFAMATA and losers do not write
history!!!
Of the remaining three neutrals the Dark Servants have heard
nothing. Such is their wish, but not ours. We are open to diplomacy
and happy to negotiate, we would be pleased to welcome leaders and
peoples of quality, protracted interviews are not required.
Once more my quiet hiking holiday has been interrupted.
During the night my chalet in the foothills of the White Mountains
was broken into by a couple of thieves, an Elf and a most unsavoury
and uncouth man. They crept towards my person as I pretended to
sleep, only for the man, KYNODEN by name, to trip over my backpack
and wedge his knife firmly between the shoulder-blades of the Elf,
LINDAL, almost damaging the lovely cloak the Elf had about him. The
man seemed in pain, something about a badly damaged wrist was
uttered. I had my retinue remove him from the premises and bolted the
door. The, now expired, elf was buried the next morning, but I kept
the Cloak as keepsake of my time in Gondor. I hope to put it to use
in the near future as I travel the breadth of Middle-Earth doing Our
Lords bidding and spreading his gospel of racial purity and Strength
Through Beauty!!!
The Gondors continue to plough into the Ithil Pass, trying to
maintain their bridgehead in the face of desperate Dark Servant
defence. Did that just sound like FP propaganda, or is it the truth?
We are not concerned. Really. Though the bridge is down at
Osgiliath , the Gondorians turned up with shiny sailboats and are
ferrying their expensive troops across. DUINHIR of South Gondor is
alone at their new camp of Minas Morgul and will probably die there
this turn. Still ECTHELION is close behind with only a paltry
mercenary army under GORTHOG to contend with at Osgiliath. He is also
supported by ANBORN and ADRAHIL. The Freeps continue on in their
plodding and very deliberate plan to affect the Mordor economy. It is
efficient, but is it enough?
IN MEMORIAM;
This week saw the demise of GLOREDHEL [Sinda], EOMER [Rohan], both at
Dol Guldor, LINDAL [Silvan] in gondor, ARGIRION [N Gondor] at Minas
Morgul, rumours of SANGARUNYA choking on a piece of humble pie are as
yet unfounded. BORK of the Woodmen was captured and KYNODEN is still
recovering from his badly-bruised wrist.
Freep Dead; 12 with 2 hostages.
Dark Dead; 2 with 2 hostages.
Your Ever-Popular Servant and Tour-Guide,
MURMUR of DURTHANG