HAIL!
Subjects of Sauron,
Winter approaches and the Freeps rub their hands with glee...all that
hobbit-blubber-oil should keep them warm whilst the poor Orcs of our
master have to scrounge for scraps on the plains of Udun and the Ash
Mountains. Oh, woe is us, poor undead, darklings!
Still, never mind, it all seems to be going pear-shaped in the North
for the so-called Free. Where did all those troops come from? How in
Morgoth`s name did such a small Witch King army threaten away the
Woodmen back-up? Ouch...that`s gotta hurt...and this week the valiant
BOLG OF THE NORTH has met a paltry band of Rangers under the command
of the mangy ARAGORN, the guy can`t even afford a full
sword...GLORFINDEL the Vain has moved his band of "merry" elves onto
2508 with hopes of retaking it. We`ve been looking at our abacus, the
one that served us so well at Minas Morgul, and we don`t think old
soiled britches can retake it from MURAZOR`s mob. Maybe he should
throw himself at the walls...oh wait that would require some courage,
wouldn`t it? In fact Old Glory seems to be surrounded...perhaps he
should quietly disband his "army" and retire to Rivendell and write a
book or something? "Great Waistcoats i have known", "The Perfect
Coiffeur for Wood or Dale", something like that...it seems much the
safest option...especially if Lomaw can be tempted by a bit of Elf
meat...he does like Freepy arties as well as any other you see...
At the adjacent 2608 DURAN took care of LEGOLAS the fey and his sorry
bunch of rookie archers. A hint the next time, pretty-boy, get them
to aim at the Orcs instead of the trees...and OGROD has his fun bunch
at 2709. It`s just not working out too well up there for the Elven
Conspirators, is it?
Out East, there will be a minor skirmish at 4321 this week where a
couple of small Northmen armies have decided to set up an outpost
there. They are met by a force of AKHORAHIL`s, it should be
interesting...
The Riders of Rohan have arrived in Ithilien to face the Ice King,
they are far from home, but what does EOMUND hope to achieve. Doesn`t
he know how dangerous it has become to be a leaders of the Eothraim?
Dol Guldor is once more the scene of bloodshed, with the Mongrel
Woodmen sending a force there [fiddlinq whilst Buhr Widfuirus burns?]
alongside Sinda allies. They cannot take the Dragon Lord`s capital!
At their own capital, the agents of Sauron, have taken their toll
once more on the Woodmen with BORNBENEOR biting the big one this
turn. Still, that might help their economy, eh?
It`s even been vaguely interesting out in South Gondor this week,
where a small contingent of Quiet Avenger troops is leading armies
from South Gondor and the Sinda a less than merry dance. Just what
elves like. So it`s said. We`re only looking for living space for a
growing population you know! And those pesky elves wanna keep all the
riches to themselves. It`s greed that caused this war, but we will
end it, because we are righteous. So there!
The bridgehead east of the river is still in place, with the castle
at Osgiliath making all the difference, i`m sure. I wonder
who "stumped" up for that little endeavour and if they think they are
getting value for their gold? There is good news, however, in that
Minas Morgul was rid of the corpulent Gondorians that were trying to
muscle their way into Mordor, they have been thrown out, but we await
the next wave...PLEASE send the Corsairs, they are so far away that
we can`t hurt them...but how are they gonna sail into Mordor anyway?
I suspect a tactical error in their leadership...wouldn`t that be a
surprise?
As for the Neutrals...what neutrals?
SCOREBOARD [for those who are counting];
FREEPS [12 nations]
13 dead, 3 hostages. [oh, don`t forget the capital they burnt!]
DARKS [9 nations]
3 dead, 2 hostages. [and a nation bankrupt for those who never
noticed the last turn].
MURMUR OF DURTHANG,
sitting on her hands, more than a little bored, somewhere in Mordor.
Honest.