THE LIDLESS EYE, ISSUE 8.
Hail Peons!
My master, Sauron bids you a fair winter solstice and peaceful new
year!
The Cavalry is coming. Or so the scribes of Gondor would tell
us...but Mirkwood is becoming a major embarrassment to the Free.
Once, it seems so long ago now, the Free were knocking on the front
door of Mordor, had blinded the neutrals with lies, ambition and gold
and were seeking the surrender of Our Leader`s nations. But, the
Mirkwood front appears to have changed things for the side of the
righteous. Taking the battle to those who started the War of the
Ring; the mongrel Woodmen and Money-grubbing races of Elves, The
Witch King and The Dragon Lord have opened up new possibilities in
the North. This week 2507 fell to Murazors armies, Bolg of the North
at 2509, after declining the challenge of a gypsy at dawn routed the
army of the one they call ARAGORN. He seems less than kingly dressed
in rags, holding a broken sword and fleeing from battle with his men
slaughtered around him! At 2508 the pissant fop GLORFINDEL again
found only mockery from the perceptive people of Sauron who laughed
off his threat at the former Woodmen back-up. BELPHEGOR has arrived
there this turn to send Glory-boy back to Rivendell [if he survives
the battle]. Duran took 2608 from the Silvan Elves and moved onto the
formerly hidden village of Carrock. Meanwhile OGROD marched on the
woodmen capital only to find it deserted...perhaps that`s because we
keep assassinating the mutant, shapeshifting freaks commanders? But,
where are all the Woodmen? Oh, that`s right they were at Dol Guldor
WATCHING the Sinda Elves fight the Dragon Lord, leading to the defeat
and capture of TATHAR at the Dragon Lord`s capital. Meanwhile, the
gaseous GRIMBEORN was seen leaving his privvy and challenged by
MABEN. Caught with your britches down, anyone? The mage won. BRAEGA
decided that discretion was the better part of his valour and left
with his "battle-weary" troops for 2613. A bit late to defend the
old, capital, don`t you think? Oh and the two-faced, weak-willed,
snivelling Rhun Easterlings then sent the wood-worriers a tidy sum of
gold. thanks for that, it`ll pay for those golden wood nymphs that
REN always wanted for his ,as yet, unused bathchamber!!! But there
must be some good news from the Mirkwood Front, i hear the freeps
ask? Well, the Silvan`s have an army at 2708. GLORFINDEL didn`t stain
his breeches and still has lovely flowing mane of hair. ARAGORN
escaped to the hills in search of "illicit weeds" and ELROND is dead.
Just slipped that last one in. Truth is some of you are happy about
that, aren`t you Freeplings?
FREEP SPIN:
Some good news for the CAPITALIST EMPIRE as we like to call the lovey-
dovey, and by no means, in anyway internally competitive "Free
People": two armies under KOLDANA and BAIN of the Northmen destroyed
a small cavalry army under UTHCU at 4321. Fanfare, please.
NEUTRAL NEWS:
RHUN and CORSAIRS went Free
the others are still undecided or undeclared.
MORANNON:
The Rhun Easterlings finally unfurled they`re War banners; It is on a
suitably gold field and depicts HUZ lying over a barrel, counting
gold pieces from his "purse" whilst IMRAHIL "stands behind him"
wearing a broad smile. His army under HURDRIAK arrived at the Long
Rider`s new fortress along with the laughable BENEORACER of the
aforementioned log-likers. GOTHMOG, however is there to welcome them.
3222:
Another stunning victory for the free; EOMUND of the equinofiles
destroyed a poor band of valiant defenders under ULZOG. This turn,
MURANOG hopes to finally see off the invaders.
OSGILIATH:
Remains a hot bone of contention with several large gondorian armies
parked there awaiting embarkation. But where to? Into the pass? It
would seem unlikely and a doomed proposition now that decent defenses
are in place. So north then, against the remnants of the Ice King`s
nation and onto Morannon? Hmmmm, i guess we shall see. UKLURG of the
Fire King faces superior forces at the City of Blood this week.
OUT WEST:
The Quiet Avenger has had some fun playing with the Sinda and South
Gondor, but it appears his fun is over, with his army facing ARANTAR
at the ruins at 2025.
CORSAIRLAND:
The are no words to describe the deceit of the SeaLords. Why would a
pirate nation decide to start a desert war? Could it be that their
ruler did not KNOW how to sail his ships or that in error he changed
allegiance to free WITHOUT finding out if the Quiet Avenger still had
harbours at his pop.centres? Far be it for me to doubt the skill of
SANGARUNYA. Nontheless he has started his desert war and is marching
an army against ADUNAPHEL`s capital. In retaliation her forces burnt
a corsair camp and is moving on the pirates capital. ships of the
desert indeed!
SCOREBOARD:
Freeps--14 dead and 4 held hostage.
Darks--3 dead and 2 held hostage.
Only notables this week are the death of GRIMBEORN and the capture of
TATHAR. i suspect is will not last. Play solemn music, please.
I remain the voice of truth,
MURMUR OF DURTHANG.