Hello Losers!
You know who im talking about! Its time to admit you have lost and just sign the darn surrender papers. Cmon, you know it makes sense? No? Oh, well, ill just have to run down how bad things are getting for you. Perhaps an outside appraisal will convince you that you have lost this war?
ARNOR:
As predicted many moons ago, Arnor is now back under the domination of the WITCH-KING of ANGMAR. BREE, the Rangers capital, has fallen to combined [and i guess surprise] cavalry armies under the FIRE KING and CORSAIRS. Im sure Aragorn has not missed the irony in the fact that whilst he sent forces to protect others he [ahem] left his backdoor unlocked. Even last week he sent HALBARAD from his capital to protect Imladris, leaving only ARADOR with 100 troops to protect his unthreatened [sic] City/Tower. Ouch! The Dark Servant forced sauntered in from off-map and bringing ITANGAST to the battle wiped out the enemy and captured the place. Nice! to make matters worse; HALBARAD arrived at the Noldo capital which was under-seige from a multi-national multitude of DS characters only to come down with the Morgulflu and see his 1000HC disband. Worse than that, this allowed the DS to flip the Noldo capital. Hoorah! At the same place, GILDOR, AMDIR and CURUFINWE of the Noldo were all despatched, with only THERGOR falling from the DS. Im sure ELROND the Fugitive was thrilled by his week!?! Who knows, hes probably hiding in a cave somewhere with the fabled stone-lickers of yore. At nearby GOBLIN-GATE, the most recent home of the Silvan-gypoes, the army commander GAMLING was cursed and the capital reduced to marginal status. It`s expected to be the latest piece of DS real-estate in the near future.
MIRKWOOD:
Over the mountains things hardly look less bleak for the Elven Fashionistas and Mutant Wood Things. Whilst WAULFA [the only original WM character left] and ARAGORN won a close fought battle with UVATHA at 2611, the Dragon Lord has been pouring troops into the Woodworriers capital. An ill-advised assault on the Dragon Lords capital at 2809 has left them weak at home; KHAMUL and LAMTHANC pulled out of 2711 and into 2710 to meet ELLADANs army and one under GASKBUZ. The single twin will do well to survive that battle. At 2809 a shoot out of sorts saw RODERIGO, GORTHOG and EMILIA of the Ice King all cursed, whilst CIRDAN was assassinated at the same place. For good measure the Ring of Curufin was reclaimed by the DS from Elladan.
RHUN:
What a sorry tale for the Freeps this is. After diverting troops from the [admittedly ill-advised] assault on Morannon to this theatre all is just about lost. 3916 was the latest scene of defeat for the dwarves, and now it too will fall to the dark servants. Whilst a FP army holes up in 4013, the forces are mustering to take them down. The dwarves meanwhile seem to be repeating the folly of the Dunadan–by attacking meaningless targets; they sent two small armies to the Rhun MT at 4411 only to face a similar force there under VAR KORMOG. Also they sent out a small blocking army that was over-run at 3408 and allowed the huge KE cav to move onto their capital. Only DAIN`s 100 troops and a shiny new castle stand in the way of the Easterling raiders.
MORDOR and THE PASS:
Mordor–nothing to report.
The Pass–As reported elsewhere the two 3000+ armies of REGEN [North Gondor] and ANGBOR [South Gondor] were both slaughtered whilst trapped on the east bank of the anduin. Forces from both sides are mustering on opposite banks of the river, with the FP intent on pursuing their faulty policy of aggression here. Both bridges remain down.
HARAD:
The one glimmer of hope for the free is wrapped in the amount of real-estate they have been able to capture here. Finally, the Corsairs capital fell to a combined marine and emmy assault. In a not too subtle paving operation several [the only decent?] FP agents landed in the QA capital. THE DEAD was assassinated and his guard IMMINENT DOOM killed. ESTELMO of the Northmen was also killed there and several other FP agents injured as the folly of trying to assassinate army commanders in 100 loyalty capital cities was once more exhibited. The DS have moved several more agents in to take the heads of those agents stranded by the demise of their C/C Estelmo. Meanwhile at 3533 the WK capital was captured by forces under DERNHELM [Rohan] and ADRAHIL [South Gondor]. DERNHELM was later assassinated. Thanks for the shiny artifacts!
FREE PEOPLE:
82 Dead
4 M-I-A
DARK SERVANTS:
34 Dead
1 M-I-A
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath
