Game 238 Begins

General
#21

Originally posted by KIZERSOZI
well Poet boy lets see you slot ASHBURGNAL into a lil ditty
and dont forget to mention the fact this mighty mage couldnt
even conjure a flicker against ol Aragorn. Nope he just stood
there and pi**ed his pants. The first of many.
Terry

I don’t believe in sniffing the pants of my vanquished foes for urine, but to each his own. However, we here on the dark side do like to improve on orginals, so we indeed whacked farmir at osgilath. no long recovery and marriage to miranda otto is this here action pack adventure. as for ashbu, i’ll try.

ode to pi$$ boy

ashburgnal and the ring of wind,
ash got whacked, such a sin.
aragorn cut him on the chin,
through the guts, to the nuts.
rather then scream, yell and shout,
aragorn stooped, and sniffed it out.

sm “bad poetry made easy” a collection
rivalled by few in mocking many

#22

This is how Tyrn Gorthad was renamed to Amon Limfern, (sin. “Hill of dead fish”) :

Aragorn took a walk in the dark
at lovely Tyrn Gorthad
when he noticed a stench, most rotten and foul
he thought by himself: that must be Ashburgnul
without many a word
he drew his sword
looked the fiend in the eye
and said “surrender or die”
ash was shocked and afraid
when he saw hero and blade
he tried to get off a spell
summoned fire from hell
but he stuttered and fell
and all he got was a rain of mackerel
Aragorn was hit on the head,
complained “these fish are long dead,
and so shalt thou be
when I’m trough with thee”
with a few strokes and cuts
to the head and the guts
Strider slew the foul mage
in a stench-powered rage
though he felt his heart sink
'cause he had to search for a ring
in a dead fishes hill
for three days he was ill.

if only everything in this game was as easy as beating you in poetry ;o)

#23

Elfhelm looked across the vale before him, to the wooded hills on the other side where sat dark Dol Guldur, a brooding fortress of gloom and shadow dedicated to the wickedness of the Enemy.

His horse pranced nervously, even at this distance the spiteful spirit and dank stench of the place cast a pall of unease across all and sundry.

Another rider approached from the woods, where many stout riders and their mounts rested from yesterday’s battle.

“Ho Elfhelm!”
“Ho Young Ed!”
“How goest the watch on this wretched berg!”
“It goest well indeed, the brave warriors of the Riddermark spilt the blood of many an orc and we supped deep of our cups in celebration of our victory!”
“Ho, that is verily indeed news of much goodness!”
“Verily!”
“Verily indeed!”
“Yes!”
“Thouest hair is looking most nice indeed, pray tell art thou using a shampoo and conditioner combined!?”
“Nay Young Ed, I doest not, I findest that using a seperate shampoo and conditioner is better for my hair, espescially to riddest my self of tangled knots and split ends”
“Verily thou art most wise mighty Elfhelm”
“Verily”

And so the two riders turned from the dark fortress and returned to the encampment of the Rohirrim, steadfast in their resolution to smite the foe and enjoy bouncy, shiny, clean hair…

#24

Faramir had shiny, bouncy hair, too.

It’s kinda drying out now, though.

Ji

#25

ringlin had nice hair too.
these days, hes rivalled by none, and seen by the same number.

kizersissy boy,
anymore errors we should be making?

tick tock, the clock spins foward, and each turn the odds tip to our favor. all those artifacts starting in the nwest, and what have you to show for it. nothing.

sm#19

take some calcium, and sign your nation# kizer, lest you be
“rivalled by none, at hiding.”

#26

ohhh Perrrrlease Gentleman
Stop this crowing over such minor gains it really is beneath you!
as for errors no you should not be making anymore than you all ready are , we do want some sort of challenge you know.
Let me remind you it is only turn 4 so lets just say our better characters are now returning to frontline duties with shiny new
toys and trinkets so soon you will be feeling thier effects and no longer get away with hitting our lesser guys.
The balance of favour well i would get your scales checked because they seem somewhat off as far as i see it there still pretty balanced to me (get your clock check also they are not supposed to spin).

Rest assured you will know my nations banner soon enough
it is the last sight your eyes will see before they close forever.

#27

ringlin, the curses artifact, and the mage artifact are minor trinkets… okay beavis…

hey, whats with the all the pretty armies stacked at 3017?
when your done with the self delusion act, learn what “telegraphing the punch” means.

sm#19
the only thing beneath me these days, is ringlin…ahahahahaha

#28

yep thats all weve got a few little trinkets wont hurt a bit .
ahh gee you spotted our scouting party at 3017 guess we might as well send the main armies up now youve spotted us nothing gets past you lot i guess…or does it?

#29

hey kizer,
what no messages? try mustard, the words go down easier with some condiments. unless your the northmen, then nothing helps ease the taste of mordor steel.
oh, your still in mourning over zidanne and mr posh spice missing the 12 yard chip shot vs the frogs. 2 goals in injury time?
its a challenging week for the unrivalled one, as he backstrokes in a french water closet.

sm.

#30

Well i was waiting for the usual Highlights from the DS turn that
we usually get straight away after a turn but i guess the fact its taken so long for you to post something shows that really there was nothing worth shouting about for you. You still think we will be beaten in 10 turns? I think not in fact i think things are starting to go just as we planned. As for our NM hes honoured
you deem him such a threat but he is not ready to leave Middle Earth quite yet. Football is all about tactics… you should study it
and learn, i think you will find that WHEN we qualify for the next round it is a lot easier for us to face Greece rather than Spain or Portugal so absolutley no complaints here.
TR

#31

sorry,
busy sunning myself around the sea of rhun. gotta get some bug repelent for the trees in mirkwood.

sm
sometimes, less is more

#32

be careful what stuff you apply, it might eat your skin :wink:

besides, don’t worry, I don’t know any bug sunken so low that he would care about you…

#33

Appologies
I have been i little busy of late and not able to give my full attention to current matters, however i have returned now.

First off that is a pretty meagre post mr smuller given the quality of battle going on , the battle for Rhun goes your way so far but this is truely minor as you well know, we have bigger fish to fry.
still every turn bringds surprises looking forward to next turn.
TR.

PS England defeated , surely only in foootball and yet again due to tretchery .

#34

games over. i’ll write again when we finish mopping you guys up, as we have entered that phase.

sm

#35

I beg your pardon?

Could please some other DS player slap this gentleman? He is obviously suffering from reality distortion.

Try mopping and you’ll eat your mop… besides, can a mob use a mop?? :smiley:

#36

Well, let’s see.
Turn 6.
Five South Gondor towns and villages captured or burned.
Major Corsair armies on the rampage throughout
Gondorland.
DS armies on 2924,2926,2927.
The Gondor fleets sunk at the bottom of the ocean…
unlike the Corsair fleets.

Crazy high market.

The Sea of Rhun is looking mighty…dark. Do the Northies
like those armies on 3109 and 4013?

And this is in a scenario where the freep population
base has been drastically boosted relative to the free.

Yup, looks like a freep cakewalk to me. I don’t think
I’ve ever seen an Ice King map like the one I’m looking at, for any dark team, ever, on turn 6. Rest assured - it will only get better. For someone.

cheers,

Marc the Dark Sailor

Corsairs/238

#37

The boasting of the so-called “Free Peoples” seems to have fallen off lately. Perhaps the imminent destruction of the Northmen has caused them to see that their dreams of rebelling against the true Lord of Middle-earth are only dreams.

Urzahil, Mouth of Sauron

#38

All I hear is Blah Blah Blah from DS…

Aragorn kills a silly WK Mage, Maben is too late to find what Ashburgnal couldn’t find…

Agents are coming…artifacts being found…Assassins coming to the Dark Land…

but then again all you hear is Blah Blah Blah…

Mt Gram soon to fall…

So speakith the Words of the King of Arnor

#39

The hobbits’ weed has been very, very good to you.

It is, to be sure, nice for the free to get agent artifacts.
Given the DS edge in SNAs, in fact, it’s required to mount
a credible agent component - which is certainly possible
for a 2950 free team. Note that they don’t give you an
edge - they make it possible for you to compete. Cloudy
names 60 killers out of the box, plus stealth if he gets it.

Given that we didn’t start with any LA spells, and you apparently had quite a few, it’s also not surprising that
you got some nice trinkets. Now all you have to do is

  1. keep them

and

  1. use them effectively.

Given the results on the board so far, I’d bet against
either 1 or 2…but, hey, I could be surprised. If so this
game might prove interesting.

Do the Gondors care to comment on their, um, interesting board position? Criminey, given the gigantic recruiting base edge they have, you’d think the battles would be on the other side of the creek, no?

What about the Northies? Look on the bright side…think of all the backup capitals this setup gives you!

Given this scenario, 2006 should already have fallen and so should 2715. If you take them, you have done nothing more than something you should have accomplished earlier. Now if you do something really major, like completely clear out the north, take Morannon, etc…
then you’ll have something to say. Provided it isn’t, oh,
turn 20.

I’m perfectly willing to let the results of the next few turns speak for me. In the meantime, I have so many choices of things to burn, you’ll have to excuse me…

Marc the dark sailor

Corsairs/238

#40

Now listen you scum-suking, foul-smelling, northman-burning, dress-wearing
lowlifes it aint over till the fat lady sings and shes only just begun her starter. Can you perrrlease quit it with the over confident, under achieveing boasts , just enjoy your early gains and prepare for the long term as we have
then we shall see.
Terry of the Northmen still alive and kicking and will be untill the end!!