Wednesday is coming soon, are ya’ll scared? You should be, I’m trying a new tactic, I’m going to try to make ya’ll laugh youselves to death, ya, that’s it, a joyous gafaa before, during and after each page read of your turn report. You’ll be laughing so hard you will roll on the floor and get stepped on by a horse or something. Ya, what an idea, a bunch of dead Nazgul, killed by laughter and big-footed horses. I’m pumped now, get ready for the laughter…
King Schitzo
Errrmmm - pull all of your fortifications down?
Have a mass duel of your own characters to generate lots of whacky rumours?
Start having 100 MA clad in mithril / mithril in all of your armies?
I REALLY want to see what you are going to do !
Cheers
Mike
My friends, you’ll just have to wait and see. And you might have to read between the lines (you know how cryptic Elven humor can be).
King Schitzo
Oooooooooooooo. I get it. You have lots of heavy cavalry, led by Mahahahahrcared?
Didn’t you read my previous post? I have to keep the horses away from him. It don’t matter, male, female, Mahrcared likes em all way too much.
King Schitzo
Tomorrow we start into the second score of turns, do ya’ll think you’ll make it to the third?
King Schitzo
Oh NO!!!
I’ve killed Kenny!!! 
That’s what I call the Rhudaur, they’re Kenny and they’re DEAD!!!
1 down 11 to go (or are there more dead, are ya’ll hiding them from me?)
King Schitzo
:rolleyes:
YOU killed Rhudaur?!? Don’t you mean you tortured it slowly, sadistically, pathetic-like, snail-paced, oh-maybe-I-should-actually-try-to-win, for 21 turns in a Grudge game!!!
Way to go, at this rate you’ll win in another 231 turns. 
You do know that FP are supposed to win quick, right? Rhudaur’s demise, while sad for us, wasn’t unforseen or unprepared for. The longer this drags out… well, I think you get my drift.
Enjoy it while you can,
Khamul
Khamul, my old buddy;
Sure it took me awhile, but hey, slow and steady, that’s my moto. Can’t be hasty, my pappy “TreeBeard” used to say. Yes, TreeBeard was me pappy, he saw me mommy and said that she’s older and uglier than dirt, so they got together and had me.
King Schitzo
Report from the battlefield, December 1650, the glorious fall of Carlon
As the sea mists rose, Carlon gazed across the harbours of voul Vamag. Since its fall to the Gondor-lings months earlier, it had become cleaner, sweeter smelling and generally less likeable. Now it looked even worse - a huge fleet of ships just arrived, with troops dismounting fast.
It was the end of a long road. 10 months of war, ten months of victory. Carlon had commanded them from the first - the old light horsemen of Akhor. Only 2 men left of the 600 that started the war, he knew them both by name. Og and Ug. They had taken The Havens together - their first glorious victory. And then the whole of the south coast of Corsairs and back again in 3 turns. Then they stemmed the first invasion tide of the Gondorlings. ANd the second coming of the Corsairs. And the desparate 3rd defence of the 'lings and Corsairs of 2 months ago. And just 2 weeks ago they were victorious over Throkmaw.
Now they were outnumbered, out manouvered - and with Celdrahil facing them, out generalled.
Gulp.
This was it. One last battle. Certain death. Certain death for the boyz - and for the commanders? Capture maybe, but survival almost for sure. But that wouldnt be right. Where the boyz go, Carlon goes. Just one chance for victory… just one chance for survival, CHALLENGE Celdrahil, it might work, if there is a god of heroes it WILL work - so call challenge! See him answer! The 'ling aint so big. His magic sword glints with a dull edge! Carlon can WIN! Carlon MUST WIN! Carlon feints and dodges and moves with superior speed! The bards tune their instruments, the poets prepare their ink and pen! Here comes a NEW LEGEND of BRAVERY and HEROISM !!!
Ooops Carlon gets his head cut off.
But at least he is still with Og and Ug…
Speaking of glorious, but misguided deaths, why did Ulf Dilan and his Dun goons just watch Azaghal and his Stunty-Runts impale themselves on the Morannon battlements? 
I guess Ulf didn’t realize he was going to die anyway, unglorious and VERY misguided!
Khamul
Ulf Dilan died ungloriously because I forgot, yes I made a big boo-boo. It was one of those things, durn wife mine wants attention, damn her! Doesn’t she know that all my attention has to go to Middle Earth? How dare she, after 32 years she should know that she has to stand back and let me finish my work.
King Schitzo
Yup. All those dwarves dead. Azaghal killed in battle. Ulf Dilan watches, gets killed, all those duns gone as well. DAMN! Thats GOTTA hurt! And Morannon is securely back in our hands now. Feel like your slipping a little backwards, Scott?
The Shadow is getting a little longer …
Sometimes, one must take a step back to look at things, ya, that’s what I’m doing, I’m looking at things. Now to charge again, and again…
King Schitzo
Ya’ll know the old saying, “Every dog has his day”, and damn, hasn’t the Doggie Lordling had enough? I say a resounding, “YES”; so no more days for Dedra, he will have to wait his turn for another day. As for the rest of you Dark Lordlings, your turn is also past, it’s my turns for awhile.
King Schitzo
My, my, my…
How is the world did Ryu Brioch and his FK army get to 2225? Me thinks you might have shown your hand a wee bit too soon. Now, SG will head west and wipe them out. Tsk, tsk, tsk; I must admit, a good move though.
King Schitzo
Whew,
Well that took a little work, but Mahrcared - the Steel Britches King - is finally dead. And his chamber pot holder, Aluiric. And even his bedwarmer, Dimblebutt (how’d he get THAT name? ) Say Scott, who’s the Eothraim’s king now? I don’t see ANY of their starting characters left …
I don’t think any of the starting EO characters are left, just Machared’s kids, you know, half horse & half whatever he was. Anyway, it’s turn 22, it really don’t matter about the EO starting characters, there are some kids that are going to show their mettle.
King Schitzo
Hey Scott - never mind the Eo starting characters, I have been wondering how many of the starting characters in your hello email are still around !!! I am sure we could add them up if we had time - top of my head thou you have way less than 50% of them…
Cheers
Mike
Well…
I play a different way, I don’t really care about starting characters, I just want warm bodies to do my bidding, anyone with enough troopers can bring down a city/citadel.
King Schitzo