I will admit that woodmen don’t bathe, but that is
because their smell/taste is water-resistant.
Greetings Free Peoples and Dark Servants,
If any of you wish to contact the Corsairs, feel free to reach me at:
Aaron
Gargal wandered into the war room late that night and wondered at Ashturg being there so late…certainly it was true that war seemed imminent but it hadn’t actually started yet and now was no time to be getting no rest…“whats wrong Ashturg…why are you here?” Ashturg looked at Gargal…his eyes bloodshot red and drool running from his fangs “shhhhh…it’s that damn Adunaphel” he whispered “since trade with the good nations has been completely cut off all she has left is goblin thongs and she’s complaining about how they creep up into the crack of her butt…so now she told me I have to start going on panty raids…I haven’t felt this foolish since orc college” Gargal laughed at the plight of his friend “best get her some cotton ones…it’s mighty warm down here come summertime” Thus the war against the good nations of middle earth began in the name of the QA and comfortable panties.
Fuinur look at the Southern Gondor town of Rendul…it had been a long trip across stormy seas and yet he had made it there in time to get Adunaphel her cotton briefs before the hot winds blew across the desert sands…he only hoped they had some in stock…to come all this way and to not find what his mistress desired would be a disappointment beyond belief…now where is that town directory…I need to call on a few stores…
Per your instructions, Steve, my emissary is on station.
I think a storyline involving the knickers of a Nazgul is the product of a seriously disturbed mind 
Not sure what Tolkien would’ve said, LoTR being one of the most ‘sexless’ books ever written 
my mind isn’t disturbed…just ask any of my 27 voices…they all constantly tell me I’m perfectly normal…now as far as a knicker story line…if you’ve ever lived with a woman who had her panties in a bunch just imagine that woman with the power of a nazgul and you’ll understand why we wanted to go to war…we would have done anything to get out of the house…even gone grocery shopping <egad maybe not that…well…yes…even that>
You make a reasonable point, I guess I can understand going to war for that 
it’s about time you checked in horse lover…where have you been? in the stables? <sniff sniff> yep, thought so
Fuinur thought “ok, this should be easy…grab a few pairs of cotton undies and make the mean old…well better not even think that…happy back home” so into the gandalfs secrets he went. “excuse me sir” addressing the store clerk, “do you carry any womans cotton briefs by chance?” The clerk frowned "you silly boy…you would look so much better in silk <he really had the wrist flip down I might add>. Fuinur wasn’t amused. “look, these aren’t for me…they’re for a lady back home.” “uh huh” mused the store clerk, “heard that one before hahaha” Now fuinur was down right aggravated, “look, just shut up and hand over the briefs” Now the store clerk seemed a little worried, “we have nothing in ladies cotton sir, perhaps you’d like to try on a night gown instead?” That was the last straw and the last thing that store clerk heard was fuinur telling his men “kill the clerk and burn the store…no…burn the town of Rendul down, I’ll go elsewhere to shop for Adunephels knickers”
Humm, wondering if the GMs are enjoying this game?
Having the same problems we had Ed?
(sorted now by the way)
JD
Gargal looked at Fuinur in total disgust…you just can’t trust humans to get anything right the first time “What do you mean they didn’t have any cotton panties in the whole town? Did you look in every store?” Fuinur shifted nervously then lied “yep, sure did, not a single pair of cotton undies in the whole town so I burned it down just so I wouldn’t accidentally look there again” “ok” Gargal replied “so where are you going to look next?” Fuinur thought for a moment then replied “I bought some fruit of the loom cotton briefs once…they were made in Indonesia…any idea where Indonesia is?”
shore at last…fuinur had thought the trip may go on forever…this surely had to be indonesia…the land of the cotton undies…well, only one way to find out “excuse me miss…is this indonesia?” fuinur boldly asked the young maiden strolling down the street…“indonesia?” obviously the young woman was confused “I’ve never even heard of indonesia”…fuinur sighed deeply…this is not how he had planned things to go “well miss…may I ask you…are you by chance wearing cotton undies?”…it was an innocent question but the young maiden didn’t seem amused and instantaneously slapped him soundly “get away from me perv!!!”…thus the quest for the cotton panties continued…fuinur not only red in the face from getting completely lost in the world but also a little red from the smart slapping he had recieved
Andrew, if you are reading this, adjust your filters. AOL is freezing us out and we can’t contact you.
In silence the war moves along
No boasting, no victory song
Just the QA’s sea shanties
of dodgy old panties
There’s something quite dreadfully wrong
To end this the Northmen must sing
(though Din Ohtar’s still doing his thing)
Your assault is now spent
Making hardly a dent
So what will the counter strike bring?
Eoder (Bard with a Rhun with a view)
Sorry - just thought it was far too quiet on the boards
JD
JD: Love your limericks. When I have something to brag about I will commission one from you.
The Cloudy came and saw the North,
The Northmen were his aim,
They ran and ran and ran and ran
I’m sure its just a game!
But worry not, for all will see,
that Rhovanian is free
But soon the forces will arrive
and drop in for a cup of tea!
( well maybe have tea and slice a few throats)
ok…I’m going to be in trouble on here…I always get stuck after the roses are red, violets are blue part