vandel the candle,
sorry to barge in guys, but i think i was lied too on the uk 56 thread. reads like candle dropped all his games, and went away on vacation( he wrote it). i thought we had a duel , pending your return from vacation candle. i’m not confused, cause you the wrote the same. we playing or not, since you challenged me. we can start tomorrow, if your ready.
apologies to all. but a match as been set, and i’d hate to be left waiting.
thanks for your patience in this matter.
sm
i could be wrong, but then again, its all in thread 56. its a tragicomedy
Hoarmurath looked out his tower window, high in the castle of Durthang. All that he could see for miles were formations of Free People’s troops marching toward his mountain stronghold. It reminded him of an old Patti Smith song “Horses Horses, coming in from all directions”… er, um, no that’s wrong somehow…
Back to our story…
He looked down at what he held in his hands: the new Business Plan 2.0 Revised. With disgust, he ripped it into tiny pieces and let loose a string of invectives that made even his Ogre bodygaurds blush. The only good news in all of this was that the double-crossing leader of the dwarves was apparently coming for dinner. He’d make sure the table was appropriately set. Hmmm, he wondered, what would be the appropriate garnish for a dwarven war-leader main course? Of couse Ji Indur had just sent him a message bragging at how delicious Fried King of Northern Gondor was. The braggard! he’d have to show him one up. A dwarven king was much more of a delicacy. So plump! He figured there must be very good marbling. Yes, it would be good to invite one of Ji’s minions so that word could be sent back.
In the meantime, Business Plan version 3.0 loomed as a forboding task. Surely he would get it right this time… He didn’t know if his Lord and Master would have much patience for a 4.0…
As with all things said by the so-called Free in this war, your intimation that you plan to attack Morannon in lieu of joining me for dinner in Durthang is noted, but hardly believed. I shall set the table appropriately.
Although the point about the dog collars is a very good one and difficult to argue with… I will do you honor and import some well trained Dog Lord minions for our dinner entertainment and they will definitely be wearing dog-collars.
Hoarmurath looked at his large empty banquet hall. All of his finest linens, crystal, silver, and china were arranged on the table with care. he especially liked the black swamp lilies that were so artfully arranged around the seven elven skulls. Most vexing though was the large empty dwarf-sized platter sitting in the middle of the table! And he had personally invited one of Ji’s henchmen to partake of the absent delicacy. This was most unfortunate. Most unfortunate indeed.
Well, at least he had some very interesting dog-collared entertainment imported for the evening, courtesy of Dendra.
He sighed and walked back to his tower to begin the long climb up to his room at the top. It did seem there would be an interesting battle to watch at Morannon. And amazingly enough, that dwarf had told the truth for once!
Tsk Tsk… taking things that do not belong to you.
Zaketh, will pay the ultimate price, and very soon now…
I guess it’s not surprising then to, ahem, um, lose things that don’t belong to you so quickly again?
As to dwarves… I smell a couple plump ones roasting on the spit right now. Hoarmurath will be most pleased as he had promised Ji an incredible evening, the culmination of which was to be a delightful low-carb menu:
spit-roasted dwarf king accompanied by a melange of candied apples, peel d’orange, wild rice, and sweet mountain onions.
a side dish of spicy dwarven commander sausage
fried northern and southern gondor commander ears, lightly sprinkled with powdered sugar and cinnamon for dessert.
heh. well, if you saw her picture, you might well change your mind and decide you did want to eat her… if you know what i mean…
nah… you’re an elf.
just let her go. she was only trying to right the balance-of-trade and help increase Hoarmurath’s treasury. He is far behind on his business plan and she was concerned for him…
I’ve been quiet. But no more. WK how u doing. Im going to own a lot of your popcenters. LoL Rhu what can we say. OOOUUUUCCCHHHH!!! But let me say thanks. I love popcenters. So if u dont mind. I’ll destroy your army at 2009. Then next turn move on anouther popcenter.
the dwarves just wanted the dog-collared slaves & dominatrix’s. that’s what our spies keep telling us…
Now, as to who’s where… Isn’t that for us to know, and you to find out? Do you want us to come visit you at Morannon? if so, just ask! We are mandated to retake it anyway. Sauron is no fun to meet with when stunty ones control the Gates of Mordor.
I do think 5300 troops on 2135 is a bit of overkill though…
OOC:
One thing you guys do have going for you: we keep messing up orders. I’m going to blame it on overwork (running 4 nations each). It’s a feeble excuse, but it’s all we have… I can’t believe Vandal that you’re going to now run 12 in one game… yikes!
What can I say those Corsairs are a bunch of cut throats, who dont believe in a fair fight, and no they are not dwarves, you can bet they will ravage things.
As you can see they also have more than that many troops about to hit the poor Harad, now I am very interested if his Capital will fall or not also. but can you have agents on so many fronts or does he have a free hand on this to?
Oh but I know where Ji, Din and E are, as well as one or two others shall we have a wager on how many I can pin down?
I myself think it dangerous to travel alone, but we shall see.
You sure you can afford the time to visit the dogmatrix chambers of the stumpies, as the winter palace is about to have another visit and that will not be any fun.
Oh and one day the fireking is going to know pain and gondor will be toasting marshmellows on the embers, for mercy is not in his plans at all.
Lets not talk about playing one game on my own its ruddy hard work, but then I am sure you know that already
LOL yes. all this talk of attacking the IK… all talk, no action.
as to FK, well, you have moved one army onto 3224 once. it didn’t
last long. and you seem to be losing lots and lots of commanders
in that pass… Then of course, you do have almighty Zaketh who
is somehow immune to the CL’s methods. We have NOT figured out
how to take him out. He is a big mystery, and more so each passing
turn that he continues to live in freedom.
again OOC:
For the record, if we were ever to do this again (whether FP or DS),
we strongly believe that Corsairs should be DS and Harad FP. The
Corsairs/SG combo is far far stronger and outmatches Harad/QA,
while the Harad/SG vs. Corsairs/QA is a much fairer southern config
(both in terms of defensive and naval ability).
Our Great Leader, Bain I has gone to join his ancestors in the Forges of Mahal. He was viciously assaulted repeatedly; first by vile sorcerey, then finally succombed to a cowardly assassin’s blade unawares. Though his life was cut short (snicker!), his legacy and fame will reverberate strong through the ranks of the Free: his enemies feared him so greatly, that they twice surrendered their capitals to him without his soldiers swinging an axe, and his death required the desperate attention of several of the Dark Lord’s most powerful slaves!
We, the tragically short, foul-tempered, ale-guzzlers of the Middle-Earth, will exact righteous vengeance for him! We will wash away our pain in our enemies blood! Death to the enemies of the Khazad, our axes are upon you!
Hoarmurath licked his chops.
yumm, he thought. Dwarven king with a side dish of elven sausage sure is tasty! He looked up as the messenger came running into the hall.
“Sir, I bring news of import! Zakath the Invincible is dead! Veantur has been captured, Taurnil, Bain, and Beneoracer are no more. Rumors abound that Tharudan fell ill and died.”
Hoarmurath smacked his lips. “Yes little one. I’ve just now dined upon a splendid repast of roasted Dwarven king, shipped here express from Morannon. But the news on Zakath, now that is most excellent! Say,
I feel splendid today. Would you care to share some elven sausage? Roast dwarven king? It’s a delicacy that my kitchens have been working to perfect. Try it!”
Turning from the table as the hungry messenger began downing the remaining sausage, Hoarmurath smirked. Finally! Business Plan 4.0 was actually going according to plan. It’s a splendid thing, he thought. Yes, a very splendid thing. He couldn’t imagine the wrath of his lord and master if he had to draw up a 5.0. Despite his nature, he shivered and walked up the tower steps… Only to glance out the window at the vast Gondor armies ammassed in the valleys to the west… Dragons, yes! He must summon more dragons…
hiya Frank -
you know, you had lots of brave words before last turn… (you were going to kill my agent, you were going to kill lots of our characters at Morannon, you were going to come destroy Durthang…) Hmmm. I think you’re 0 for 3.
You let my beautiful agent go! I told you she was too good looking to kill. See, even Elves have hearts!
And well, I think the character war count at Morannon was decidedly uni-directional (poor dead FP…) woops! did you lose another trinket? shame. for shame! Gosh… do you guys control any of the interesting trinkets anymore? I need to consult my database, but I don’t think it’s a pretty picture…
And Hoarmurath is sitting in Durthang all alone unmolested! Sure there are lots of NG troops to the west, and lots of dwarven troops to the east, but they aren’t doing much good there now are they? And do you want to place a bet on how many of them leave the hexes they’re in as a part of any type of organized army? I’m betting most simply wander home leaderless… Poor demoralized FP troops without army commanders. It’s a disgrace to the allegiance!
And finally, do we want to mention the dead elf bodies piled against the fortifications at 3222? why, sure! Lets! Nice pile of bodies Frank!
Oh, one more chortle… !!!ZAKATH THE INVICIBLE IS DEAD!!!
whew. that feels better.
Dave
p.s. yeah, sure, I know. You’ll be giving me turn-about as fair play sooner or later. And you guys did do a nice job at 2135… But it is nice to have a great turn for the DS once in a while!
