Well you Freep pond scum, are you ready for the beating of your life? Well, you better be because a good old fashioned whooping is coming your way. We gonna whoop ya like my papa used to whoop me when I washed all the neighborhood cats and hung them up to dry. Not just once did this happen, not twice or even three times, it happened weekly for years. I figured the whoopen was worth watching those “Free” cats dangle from the clothes line.
King Whooper,
Fire King and Harad
Dear Freeps,
What’s with all the FP icons around the Sea of Rhun? Out for a nice Sunday march? Lost something? Looking for somebody, perhaps???
There’s nobody out here but a bunch of nomadic-camel herders. Shouldn’t you guys be, I don’t know, maybe more near Mordor? You know, where the Bad Guys are at?
Uvatha,
innocent camel-herder
Well, Uvatha - we don’t want your stinking camels. We just want peace and quiet in our realms.
So you will not se our troops in your homelands any time soon. We do not attack unless attacked ourselves. That’s the kind of peace-loving folk we are.
But that being said we just might have to come out of retirement and whoop your behinds if you keep up the agressive stance you’re showing in Mirkwood - we’re greatly annyoed with what has happened there. Please withdraw your troops immediately so that we can continue to live peacefully side by side.
Ulrik, Ruler of Cardolan, Dwarves and Corsairs, but peacelover above all.
Mirkwood was just the start of it. And we are not withdrawing - we are going in further!
Peacelover? Sheeplover, more like 
ahh, just words. I think that in your hearts you know the right thing will be to return to your settlements and agree to leave in peace with the rest of the Mirkwood inhabitants. Looking forward to sharing a pint at the local inn and talk about old times, letting bygones be bygones.
Peace.
Peace? Piece of WHAT? :eek:
The only piece that you goat hearders only want a piece of is a piece of that nearby sheep. Hell, how do you think the woodmen became part bear? We, from Mordor are with the SPCA (that’s Society Prevention Cruelty Animals), and we are tired of you freeps taking liberty with the wildlife of Middle Earth. If Elrond hadn’t gotten lonely in a dense part of the forest, there wouldn’t be Ents and the list could go on forever.
So, we fight, and we’re gonna win.
King Whooper
Protector of Wild Life
Ok, that does it. You simply refuse to listen. So be it.
DEATH TO ALL ORCS, MINIONS OF SAURON AND THEIR HIRELINGS.
The Free People of Middleearth will make sure to visit every hostile home and slay all heretics. Not one will be left alive. Don’t come crawling begging for mercy later - none will be given. You’ve brought upon yourselves.
Ahh, let’s find the old rusty axe, sharpen it and put it to good use. Especially the dwarves are happy now…
If you sharpen the old rusty axe, it still won’t be as sharp as our wit.
King Whooper
That Last post of mine really wasn’t very good at all, durn, I guess the wit isn’t very sharp at all.
King Whooper
King Whooper, dont worry. Bad jokes cause them more pain than good ones, which is absolutely the thing we should be doing. Keep your good jokes for the next torture-an-elf party
If that’s the case, bad jokes cause them more pain than good ones…
Those freeps are in for the bad joke beating of their lifes.
Have you heard the one about the two nuns, one named…
King Whooper
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
We were on the second page 
Well, I’ll tell you, if you freeps let that happen again, I’ll take you over my knee and whoop ya. 
Isn’t it bad enough that we whoop ya on the battle field, now we’ll have to whoop ya off it too. Gees, can’t an Orc get a few minutes of rest around here?
King Whooper
Well, whopper - what is it exactly you’re whopping. Nothing in the south, nothing in the east, nothing in the west and a little in Mirkwood. Come on, face it - you’re losing it.
And that post ! What are you talking about ? Second page ?? Let what happen ?? Start making sense, our you’ll have to find another thread where you can chat with yourself. This one’s for grown-ups !
Ulrik, dwarven pirate
Well, my small person, by second page, I mean second page of this here board which you would know if you ever posted here before. But, seeing as you must be a new commer to this, I’ll be forgiving–this time!
Seeing as your a “Dwarf”, how can this page be for grown-ups when you never grew up?
King Whooper
Ok, then I’ll forgive you your spelling 
But that is why the dwarves have teamed up with the pirates - I’m all over the map so I always have an army ready to deal with anyone talking thrash ! Now if I only knew which position you play…
Ulrik, dwarven pirate
Ulrik,
First post on this thread tells which positions I play.
King Whooper
Well, well, Ulrik,
Looks like you’ll have to deal with me then, I’m a trash talker from way back, way back when my pappy was my grandpappy and my sister was my aunt and my brother was my cousin…
King Whooper
I be from the south
Dear Freeps,
Did you guys forget I was lurking around? You didn’t actually buy that bit about me beaing an innocent sheep-herder, did ya? I’m a Nazgul, I lie for Sauron’s sake!
Here’s another one: I’m just going to move off the NM’s PC’s real peaceful-like, like nothing ever happened… yeah, that’s the ticket!
Uvatha
LR
And by the way, my short hairy friends, Din O will NOT try to harm you, he will embrace the Dwarven army commanders and give them a kiss on each cheek. You know that Din O just loves peace and tranquility.
King Whooper
Speaking out of turn for my friend, Uvatha
Dear EO,
Ouch.
Uvatha,
one assassin short