ME 48 - Greetings from the Front

General
#1

Hail and well met, people of Middle Earth!

We here at the Judean People’s Front are quite eager to begin our work in game 48. We want you all to know that we are strongly opposed to the Romans… err Dark Servants… and we will oppose them by all means up to and including getting ourselves crucified and singing silly songs.

We have many strong allies, but we’d also like to negotiate with all of the splitters… umm Neutral nations… out there with an eye toward cooperating to defeat the real enemy, namely the People’s Front of Judea. Wait, strike that, we mean the DS.

Make no mistake, we are a force to be reckoned with. At least until we cease to be so. Or unless we fail to use our forces recklessly, or to reckon ourselves forceful, or to forcefully reckon with our mistakes. Wait, I’m sorry, what was the question?

Anyway that is all for now. Until next time, we hope our friends and enemies alike will enjoy the game. We certainly intend to…

Now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time.

Brian Maximus
Chairperson, Center for Social Disease Control
Judean People’s Front

#2

:confused:

BardsConsortium@comcast.net

#3

Well Brian Maximus,

You finally generated a response from some one of the sleeping hoards of other nations in Game 48. I am glad that neutral nation Bard has responded – his response moves the Game 48 forum thread up from page two to the beginning of PAGE ONE! We’ve front page news and no one’s even died! … yet.

I notice that Brian (and Bard) are both ‘junior members’ of the forum (as am I). What gives that none of the ‘seniors’ want to post?! Are they scared that they’ll st…st…stutter like Biggus Dikkus?

Jeez … lets get some action on the forum page. … unless the inactivity is all some sort of plot to lull all of the competition into sleep. There is a fine line between clever and … : )

#4

The camp of Hernit Pit of the JudeanPeolsFront finds their Lord Nottius Maximus with his large army swaggering around boasting of his impending battle with the Watchwood Wardens lowly Captain Vrak Tanuk and his small army. The encampment is shouting words of encouragement and glee as it seems only a formality before the battle is over and the festivities begin.

In a surprise move the underdog Vrak starts drawing a circle in the parade grounds outside the camp and tosses out a challenge for the lordling Nottius to put his fighting skill where his mouth is.

After all his hot air and blustering Lord Nottius has no choice but to step into the circle and fight.

The peoples of Hernit Pit are shouting words of encouragement in a deffening roar.

The bookies always ready for any situation start taking bets with the odds at even since Vrak is sporting a sword and Nottius will be fighting barehanded.

The combatants face off and the referee finally shouts out FIGHT. Both men start assessing the strengths and weakness’s of each other with no real damage being inflicted for the first few minutes. Vrak notices that Nottius is tossing his hands around limp wristed and realizes hes a real lording, a sissy, a boy who has never fought a real fight. Vrak a veteran of countless fights in the Third Age starts toying with him, a little slice here, a small scratch there.

The crowd starts to realize their lord is all hot air and no real fighter at all. The bookies stop taking bets as its apparent to all that Vrak is the superior fighter.

Nottius starts groveling for mercy, however the referee shouts out and reminds everyone that duels are to the death and not to be entered into lightly.

Vrak sensing the crowd is getting angry and might break the code of the duel decides to finish this fight and get some rest for the impending battle his army will have to face eventually.

Finally after a fight that seemed longer than it was, only 7 minutes, Vrak executes a coup de grace and removes Nottius’s head from his body. Only after dusting off his uniform and the adrenaline wears off does Vrak realize that Nottius didnt even scratch him. Being cocky and having nothing else to lose, Vrak picks up Nottius’s head and hands it to Commander Fwee Wodewick, Nottius’s 2nd for the fight and whispers to him “see you in two weeks” and wanders back towards the nearest brothel knowing the code of the duel will keep him safe for the time being.

Will Commander Fwee Wodewick step into the ring in two weeks to test his skill against Vrak. Or perhaps Regent Naun Brions of the RhunLandChattelCo thinks he can give Vrak a better test of skill. Only time will tell.

Tune in soon and we shall see what transpires.

#5

Hey Tuormo

This is really good stuff! It clearly took a while to write all of this. Well done - I mean it - keep it up. And while you’re at it - shake the cages and see if you can wake up any of the other DS.

I liked the Play by Mail / faux-Tolkien prose, until you came to the 5th paragraph.
‘Bookies’?!
I can just see Frodo and Sam whipping out their cell-phones and laying odds w/ their ‘bookies’.
“What odds do you have on Merry and that chick against the Lord of the Nazgul”?
100 to 1!
Put me down for a fiver."

Negative style points for failure to stay in character.

And dang, if you didn’t do it again latter in the diatribe, when you introduced ‘referees’ to a ritualistic fight to the death. What are they gonna do? Penalize ten yards for holding?
I was reminded of Paul Newman’s ‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kidd’,
[RULES? In a knife fight?
Somebody say, ‘One, Two, Three, GO!’]

Hmmm … I see that Vrak is a veteran from the Third Age.
He’s a thousand years old, heh?
Seems kind of sad to be fighting the geriatric crowd - you failed to mention the ‘lasers’ attached to Vrak’s wheel chair.

Well, enough use of this ‘singing telegraph’. Its time I mounted my Iron Horse and steamed down to the Green Dragon Inn to watch Sports Center.
I’m looking forward to your next installment.
I’m dying to know the meaning of ‘coup de grace’.
Some sort of chicken coop for Ms. Kelly?

#6

Originally posted by Don Quixote
I’m dying to know the meaning of ‘coup de grace’.
Some sort of chicken coop for Ms. Kelly?

Now THAT’S Funny ! :smiley:

Bard’s Consortium ME48

#7

Thanks for the plug Eric (a.k.a. Bard)

And thanks for rescuing our forum page (one of two) from the doldrums of the Harlequin forum site. We’ve a lot of good action going on in Game 48 and I wish some of the other players would post. With 119 hits as of this writing (queue ominous music) I know they’re out there …

Monastic tried about two months ago - in a very benign way - to drum up some good taunting on the forum. So here I am in my third effort - in an even more benign way - to encourage the wall flowers to get away from the voyeuristic practice of ‘reading’ and actually post something.
It will all be in the interest of ‘fun’.

I can well imagine that some of our players are nervous about such a public display as the web. I can remember avoiding posting on the Deft forum for almost a year, although I enjoyed the barbs that various players / combatants gave out.
So there - I said it: I feel your pain. Shy. Scared of making a typo. Even more scared that some of the a-holes who frequent the game (shocking!) will mercilessly eat the guts at the least little mistake in writing or will ‘pick to death’ some measly detail. What can I say about these sad, masochists … we Play By Mail types are a computer geeky lot …

So, in the interest of encouraging posts, I’ve even gone so far as to serve up a softball to ‘Tourmo’ and you (Eric) touched on it. I gently mocked Tourmo for ‘coup de grace’ and I fully expected that one of my characters would die this turn and Tourmo could crow, “No. ‘Coup’ as in the “Chick Coup” that we used to buried Malik!” And then all 119 views of the post could all draw in their collective breath and say, 'Ooooh. Diss!" Et cetera, et cetera …

So there! I’ve thrown down the gauntlet. Let’s see who picks in up - or do I have to resort to arguing with my own teammates.
Judean Peoples Front!
Splitters!!

#8

Donning his Red Hat, Commodore Quixote spurred down the Dell, and up the hill leading to the walls of Ahk Arikhos. Quixote had tried in vain to get the forum-phobes of the Nation of Hive to make a post on the Play By Mail forum - but to no avail. ‘Was it something he had said?’ ‘Should I wear more Right-Guard?’ Quixote was mystified by the silence… it was getting personal.

With a vague nod of his head, he indicated that the war machines should begin their barrage. Wang ™, Banana Junior and other obsolete computers were launched over the Adobe walls of the city. “Perhaps they only lack the technology?” Quixote hopefully thought to himself. “I will rain Apples on their heads … and they’ll gravitate to the forum page and MOCK ME! My Word, what fun that will be!”

Until someone of the DS made a post, Quixote vowed a crusade to fight the winds of forum-fear: He would travel to each and every one of the DS capitols and drag their leaders kicking and screaming to a keyboard. ‘Thou shall post’ would be branded on their foreheads.

Quixote reined Rosinante to face north. Like Explorers, the two of them would Navigate the bowels of the DS, searching for any signs …

… to be continue.

#9

Waiting for the next post :slight_smile:

Bard’s Consortium

#10

You gotta be kidding me. I mention one name in a little post in the Forum and yall send 6 mages to kill him off. What was that? 12 orders to move and to cast spells? A model of efficiency.
Let’s see what other characters I can get yall to expend your efforts against.

Let’s see … I have a Veteran Gomer Pile. OH PLEASE don’t send your 200 points worth of mages against him!

Then there is Journeyman Oliver Twist – he’s a pretty big threat.
Umm … I’ll send Oliver to crucial hex 3707. SURE HOPE he doesn’t meet with a wicked end.

It doesn’t appear as if yall are going to leave any windmills for me to attack – yall are busy huffing and puffing and blowing them all down for me.
:slight_smile:

#11

Gotta hand it to you free peoples. Props are due you
for (at least the outward appearance of) good cohesive
teamwork. It was enough to make me join the dark
servants, lest this lopsided affair end before we reach
the declaration deadline. Sometimes doing nothing is
worse than doing "some"thing.

Mystic “Artful Dodger” will stop by 3707, and Journeyman
“Sgt Carter” will be stopping by to give Gomer some
push-ups and K.P. duty.

I am glad to say that EITHER of the Kingdoms would be a
huge boost to our team, as they are both good shoot-from-
the-hip players and excellent communicators.

Bard’s Consortium

#12

Bard’s wrote: "Sometimes doing nothing is worse than doing “some"thing.”

Never!!

I currently hold a Level Three Certification in Couch Potato-ology and I am here to tell you that rarely, if ever, is doing something better than doing nothing. Why, for YEARS I’ve done simply nothing and …

And now for something completely different:

Regent Fagin is on his way with a few of the boys to meet up with you, Bard. Since you’ve sold your soul to Sauron I’m afraid your lands must be considered forfeit.

Regulation 4892©, Subsection 3, paragraph 1: Any Neutral Nation whometh sells its soul to the Lidless One shall have his/her lands confiscated by the nearest Free Person. If that Free Person beith busy, then the next closest Free Person shall snuffeth him/her, and so forth.

So, the rules say I’ve got to do it, Bard. No choice in the matter.

An aside: if you’re evil, and bards were once considered to be the bringers of stories and information to the masses…does that make you “bad news?” TA DUM, DUM.

Bring it on, bad boy; let’s see what ya got.

Pax Vobiscum
Monastic

P.S. Oh, and by the way, I want to thank you for the letter about Maagyar. That was genuinely cool of you.

#13

We are summoning diabolical aid from the 9th plane
of hell to help us understand the wording of the rule
you quoted. You got it - a lawyer :wink:

As for the letter, no problem … but I have no idea
what you are talking about (old age I guess).

Your Oliver Twist characters are scaring the Dickens
outta me BTW …

Bard’s Consortium (adopting the “Seeing Eye”
logo of the network “See-B-S” - hey, it was that
or a freakin’ peacock !) :slight_smile:

#14

Bard and Monastic would have to take the conversation to a literary plane.
Dickens?
Oliver Twist!
It’s getting so a guy has to have a edication to play this game!
What happened to the time when you could just shout taunts over the wall??

Now I’ll have to dig out my library card and actually read some literature. Hmmm … where did I put it?

Well, maybe there will be a cool library at Watchwood Hold. I have Great Expectations that I’ll soon be able to check out books there – library card or no.

A – B – Seeing ya

#15

Seeking INDEPENDENCE from the HUMANITARIAN offerings of the Free Peoples, Captain Eru of the Erid Lomin Exiles marched silently down SILICON VALLEY. Eru had COTTON in his mouth as he offered ROSiE promises of LIBERTY to his doubtful troops. SUGAR veritably dripped off of Eru’s lying tongue as he promised 72 virgins to each and every martyr of the enTIRE army. (Survivors would receive a nice consolation prize of a half-dozen TANGERINE’s.)

OUTBACK of the command tent, veteran soldiers pressed into the army gave their INSIGHT to the pending campaign.  "GMAC!" spat one grizzled recruit, "Old Blood & Gut's is leading us into another ALAMO."

"Aye" growled another, "Like as not, our foolish war won't be no HOLIDAY.  Seems more like walking into the mouth of a GATOR, if'n you ask me."

"You fools are far too gloomy" chimed in a third, "FOR(T) what it's WORTH, I say this here war's as easy as the Pied Piper walking through MUSIC CITY, as sure as the SUN shines in SAN FRANCISCO!"

"ORANGE ya gonna promise them more than that piffle?" snipped the most skeptical of the lot.  "Virgins in NEW ORLEANS, perhaps?  Or a nice CITRUS orchard and gardens on the outskirts of LAS LEGAS?  HA(!) WA II've not a snow balls' chance in HOUSTON."

As the conversation drifted to a close, a new immigrant to the Exile Nation, lacking faith in the war asked of his uncomprehending comrade, "FI  ESTA?"

… to go into overtime …

#16

Damn you, Don, and your little windmill too! I’m going to be up half the night trying to figure out the real message.

#17

I don’t remember exactly how it goes, but there is this song by the Bare Naked Ladies that goes, went … umm … well …
Well! That was a Senior Moment.

And speaking of bare & naked - I want to congratulate the NK on his bold entry into the War. I guess the NK figures sites such as Bree are too far from the fighting to be threatened. We’ll see if we can’t adjust the NK’s thinking …

Fight the Power

#18

Commanders, commanders, my kingdom for a commander.

#19

Who is Celebion ?

Bard’s Consortium

#20

I dunno. We’re scratching our heads, too.

Sounds like he needs a commander, though.

:smiley:

Nice to hear from you, Bard’s!

Monastic