Hail Comrades!
What a wonderful fortnight we have had! I was trekking in the White
Mountains, looking for a suitable location for "The Eagles Nest", a
luxury
retreat complex for Our Lord SAURON, paid for out of Party Dues,
when i
heard of the sweeping success for the Empire. It seems that it won`t
be long
before Gondor is once more part of our Living Space...
ANGMAR:
A break out from Mt.Gram now seems well timed: ROGROG captured 1512,
headed
off for Imladris and is now in striking range of the curiously
abandoned
Noldo Capital. Did the Elfies get jittery? I wonder why?? Anyway, at
Gram
the poxy-ridden Rangers of Bree destroyed the Witch-Kings army then
ARAGROPE
[as he`s known with the kitchen staff of The Prancing Pony]
threatened the
pop.center away. But, what about poor old ELROHIR? I do hope he
doesn`t
disagree with TURUKULON`s digestive tract or it could be rather
messy up
there...i`m sure the wise dragon will spit out those shiny, valuable
artifacts just in time for us to pick them up. I do hope that there
isn`t
another "accident" there this turn...
MIRKWOOD:
Speaking of accidents...oh dear, freepies, not a good turn for the
Freep
Conspiracy in Mirkwood. GLORFINDEL tried his luck with ASHBURGNUL
and was
given [i`m sure not for the first time] the cold shoulder, only to
turn up
somewhere hardly less dangerous. But what is glory-boy doing at
2409? Has he
gone there to hire an army. Are the freep so hard-pressed in
Mirkwood? Oh,
well, there goes another option...and all of that after BOLG had
marched
upon 2508. The panicy Woodmen had GRIMBEORN chase him back from
2405...but
it won`t be enough. Time is running out for BEORN`s boys. Earlier,
BENEORACER had been chibbed and his army dispersed, the fort reduced
to a
lonely tower at 2508.
There was some good news at 2610, where the rampaging cavalry of
BULRAKUR
was finally coralled by AEGNOR of the Noldo, though precious few
elves were
left to aid in the desparate defence of the mutant animal lovers.
At Dol Guldor, an long anticipated victory was made hollow by DS
agents; 4
armies of the Free defeated the forces of GASKBUZ defending the
proud
woodland realm of KHAMUL, but only the paltry army of ERIDAL the
Sinda
remains now; BEORN went to his grave rueing his wasted days
frolicking in
the woods with all manner of fauna, whilst the good woman FERRET
plied her
trade with all and sundry in his stead. An assassins knife took the
Woodman
leader and scattered his army. Likewise, EOWYN the Fair, was laid-
low by DIN
OHTAR and her force destroyed by grief and lack of leadership. In
disarray,
BORNBENEOR`s army charged the mighty walls of Dol Guldor and was
destroyed
along with it`s commander. And for what? Nothing was achieved except
the
loss of the Woodmens 5th commander in 9 turns. Oh dear. My heart is
bleeding. And now they have enemies at the very gates of their
capital!
Agents in woods, traitors in their midst and other cliches...
To top off a poor week, Caras Galadhon, City/Tower was revealed in
all it`s
glory [sic]. Shouldn`t be too hard to topple...
RHUN:
What a lovely vacation location this is. No doubt that intellectual
giant
ENION will savour the rich ironies when we start to transport his
worthless
people there for him! URZAHIL, ever the one to want to catch Our
Lord`s eye
[well how couldn`t you?!?] has come up with a cunning idea:
apparently when
we liberate Dunland and Angrenost he has big plans for Rhun. The
wide open
plains will be used to "resettle" the great unwashed horde of
Dunnish
livestock, er, noble savages. Nearby the freed Uber-Orcs of SARUMAN
will
construct work camps to furnish all the things for the peaceful ages
that
follow the Great War of Liberation! The humans will supply the
willing
labour and, er, food for the soldiers. Nonetheless URZY has promised
that
the transported and resettled Duns will eventually be granted their
Freedom
Through Work. Meanwhile their former lands will be settled by the
deserving
peasant families of War Veterans. It all works out in the end
according to
Our Masters Grand Design! But , what of the present i hear you ask?
Well...
The Easterlings Brotherhood have rejoined! KHAND has come to the aid
of Rhun
and answerred the call of SAURON! OVATHA has pledged his allegiance
to the
cause of The One Eye and vowed to push all Capitalist-Pig-Dog
Aggressors
from Easterling soil. This fortnight his troops moved on Rhubar
[4415]
finding it to be a shiny new MT/Tower. All the better to build a
base from!
More of his troops under ROLY MO entered DILGUL [4217] and found it
unprotected. Meanwhile two large armies under RIBBLE [KE] and
SWITHWULF
[Northmen] meet at 4421 this turn. The Freeps finally got their act
together and took the former Rhun capital at 4014.I`m sure GIRION
and BALIN
will be very happy there together. That prime stump-fiend THORIN
continues
to gobble up ickle Rhunite camps [well it beats actually facing an
enemy in
battle]. Things should get very interesting out here in the weeks to
come.
FIRE ALLEY:
The Freeps continue along with their costly plan to flood Fire
Alley.
Perhaps, they don`t have an alternative plan? Anyway, they rebuilt
the
Osgiliath Bridge and sent over thousands of troops. Unfortunately,
none of
their troops already at Osgiliath had managed to break out. So here
we are,
with roughly similar forces staring at each other, fighting over a
worthless
seaside town gone to seed. Now decorated in various shades of claret
and,
quiet frankly, unless SNAGA is exaggerating...starting to stink.
But, we of
Mordor are used to ill-odour. For generations we`ve been forced to
live in a
barren wasteland next to a bloody big reeking volcano! Worse still,
some
poor orclings have had to live next door to REN! So, do we feel
sorry for
the poor manfolk of Osgiliath? Do we feck! At least you can eat the
wallpaper and carpets if you get peckish...
Minas Morgul remains hidden. Did we say thanks for that? Not that it
matters, you`ll never get back to it, much less retake it.
You`ll be glad to know i`ve been perusing the records again:
FREEP DEAD:14
FREEP M-I-A: 3
DARK DEAD:3
DARK M-I-A:1
Keep up the good work, praise SAURON, etc
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath.