Why are the Spaniards so good at MEPBM?

To answer that question, I took a trip to the La Universidad de la Tierra Media-JpC, in Córdoba. Though initially reluctant to confide in an outsider, people warmed to me over many plates of patatas bravas, champinones al ajillo, and a thick greenish cocktail called something like “bebe esto extranjero.” Here is what I learned.

Spaniards learn MEPBM lore from a young age. Children are routinely frightened into bed or through chores with tales of “el Murazor” and “Gaurhir el ladrón.” Everyone knows the story of the FP Dunlendings who sent their armies West. Parents remind schoolchildren to pack their lunch by insisting they must have at least a sandwich if they want fed movement. On Easter, kids hunt for the One Ring.

At the age of 12, students are assigned to one of three vocational schools, depending on ability: Real Madrid, Barcelona, or Spirit Mastery. Those without demonstrated aptitude play Risk.

But it is after secondary school that the real work begins, either on regional squads or, for a select few, in the AAA league feeding the national team. Morning calisthenics provide warm-up for daily challenges designed by Don Alonso de Ocampo, a legendary figure who once Scouted a Bridge, Destroyed the Bridge, Rebuilt the Bridge, Crossed the Bridge, then Sabotaged the Bridge all in a single turn. Exercises include naval movement in shallow water, Curse Squad probability theory, and escape rooms sealed behind a Tolkien riddle. They eat a “Mediterranean diet” of olive oil, nuts, and lembas bread. They play the Northmen as a mage nation and the Easterlings with armies of Light Infantry. Schedules are grueling.

Though I could not duplicate these conditions, once I returned home I did begin a training regimen based on what I had learned. Though it has been only three months, I already see a difference. Last week, I found two artifacts in a single hex. I’ve had three dragons in my army at the same time. My pop centers don’t degrade or lose loyalty. Fortifications don’t stop me. Half my new characters are Champions, with stealth.

I hope this helps as other players look to unravel la Adivinanza Española,

Dan N


A thoroughly enjoyable read, Dan.


As a Spaniard, I only will say one thing… you should be careful speaking about this topic, beacause you do not want to unleash the warth of the Spanish Saint,Santiago, which will fall upon you with all his migthy godly power if he feels that you say something you shouldn’t.

Don’t you mean Saint Joan Parés, Giver of…oh, forget it.

Well yes… him too :slight_smile: we still call him the Valar

Suddenly its got a bit Chilly…

That’s just the frozen Margaritas kicking in… Brain freeze before the Mount Doom plunge!

Nunca pensé que fueras español Dan, jajajaja

Nice post.

Jose Ramón H.

Really hilarious Dan! Thank you! – Jeremy