We track stuff?
Whats the Cirdan guy up to? Still messing around in boats? Maybe we could track the latest woody leader of the week? Who is it this time? I wouldnt get the crown of thorns sized or anything, itll only need changed next week...maybe Ferret or Weasel or Stoat can take command when all the starting characters are gone...but then, there wont be much to lead soon, will there?
THE VOICE of Adunaphel
I’m bored…
"I’m bored…
–Don`t worry the Dunlendings will be coming for you soon…well if anyone bothers to tell them where you are…
THE VOICE of Adunaphel
Hail Comrades!
Does anyone have a good word i can rhyme with IMRAHIL? I`m trying to compose
a suitable ditty for his impending funeral celebration…
But enough of that, what is happening in my masters 3rd Empire this week? Are there no tales forthcoming from the Inns of The Shire, or the seedy Bordellos of Dol Amroth, that Port of Ill-Repute whose sordidness rivals even that of the Havens of Umbars Pirates? What news comes from the unclean
rednecks of Dunland? Has the mad-scientist SARUMAN perfected the perfect orc
yet with his unholy experimentation? The capitals of the so-called “Free”
are very quiet…i promise, however, that that will not last…
ANGMAR:
Talking of quiet, its like a grave in the far north. Oops, sorry ARAGROAN didnt mean to mention that g-word whilst the passing of ELROHIR to out good
friend TURUKULON is still so fresh…what DID EL-ROUND have to say about the
loss of his number one son [everyone knows ELLADAN is a namby-pamby, even by
elven standards and ELROHIR was the half-bloods favourite]??? Are you still
allowed to shack-up with his daughter? Nice line, by the way, claiming to be
of Dunedain Stock just to get in the bodice of an elven princess. Why cant we come up with such plans? We have to kidnap the poor chyx and make them submit to our will by staring at our blazing-balls of fire and such like...maybe its the green, slimy skin or the incorporeal limbs that put
them off? Can you tell that there isnt much news to report? Anyway, the Ranger rag-tags left Mt.Gram having "passified" it. No doubt the poor denizens will be subjected to all manner of capitalist "re-education" by the monetarist elven lap-dogs of Bree...however, with all our friendly dragons in the area the unfortified Town will soon degrade... ROGROG continues his tour of the north with a visit to the Noldo village at 2113. More land for MURAZORs ANNEXED-TERRITORY of ANGMAR. Hoorah! The 3rd
EMPIRE [tm] will reign for a thousand years!
MIRKWOOD:
Next up a little piece of news that only GLORFINDEL amongst the Free-Peoples
may be celebrating: at 2709 the Other-Other Elven [Silvan] Village saw a
battle between the army of LEGOLAS [son of the self-proclaimed King of
Mrkwood, THRANDUIL] and Dragon Lord forces under OGROD. KHAMULs troops won the battle easily, but to make matters worse the village lost its forts and the golden-boy of GALADBRYND was assassinated. At least GLORFINDEL may now have a shot at winning this years "Prettiest-Elf-Boy" Competition [this year to be held in the "City of Sin by the Sea; Little Amroth: Edhellond"]. Tickets available whilst the Freep Empire lasts. At 2508, there was slightly better news for the FP: ASCARNIL defeated BOLGs
army and nullified his threat. He then marched north towards Mt.Gundabad and
ran into a superior Witch-King Army under the Lord of the Nazgul, MURAZOR,
himself. The results may not be pretty for elvenkind this week…
At 2711, the Freeps felt the need to protect the runt of their litter; the
animal-fetishist Woodmen, by hiding their capital from the rampaging hordes
[or as we like to call them “liberators”] from Morannon. DAUMDORUT easily
slaughtered the Woody armies there and none arrived to challenge him this
week. Hey, at least no shape-shifters were killed this week, things are
looking up! No new armies turned up to challenge the dog lord army. Maybe
they HAVE run out of commanders?
At 2715, the futile attempt by ERIDAL to seige the CITY/KEEP continued. I
suspect he was actually ordered to throw his paltry band of 300 or so troops
at the walls but balked at the last minute…maybe they should feed him that
line about the 7 virgins awaiting him in the afterlife? Either way, he dies
this turn.
RHUN:
This is where it gets interesting and the result of the FPs doomed Fire Alley strategy come home to roost: At 4013, the fledgling army of stumpy-ale-guzzling-beard-fetishists was eradicated after BARAGUND was assassinated and the army commander THRALIN III was abducted. He will be fully probed, but perhaps will not return from the mothership! Meanwhile, BULRAKURs army moved onto the unguarded Village/Tower of
Kheled-Nala. It is toast this turn. Further south at 3820, THORIN continued
to piddle about and threaten worthless camps. It beats getting in an actual
fight though, doesnt it? However, perhaps it is his tactic to avoid the same fate that befell [we can admittedly only guess] BARD, whose [we think] army was over-run by a MUCH BIGGER DS army near the back-door of Mordor. Elsewhere in Rhun, the tide of War has turned severely against the dithering NORTHMEN-STUMPY CARTEL. It had long been their plan to capture the Poppyfields of Rhun and turn their crops into the Evil Product of Capitalism: Illicit Mind Controlling Drugs. We know it was their plan to mass produce and flood the poorer ghettos of Mordorian Cities; they could demoralise their enemy AND turn a nice profit at the same time. However, THE CARTEL appears to have come off the rails with the arrival of the Liberating Forces of Khand Easterlings! DILGUL remains a pile of rubble, both ELGAER and RHUBAR are in DS hands and there will be a titanic battle at the camp of MISTRAND this turn. Whilst SWITHWULF halted the DS tide last turn he has met his match in the KE army of BESSIE at 4423. Its all going pear-shaped for
the eastern CARTEL.
FIRE ALLEY:
And things are changing in Fire Alley, where the DS for the first time have
superior numbers at 3024 AND 3124.
At 3026, last turn the QA commander THE DEAD destroyed the large navy of
South Gondor under GOLASGIL and marched to Osgiliath. There he found DS
troops already outnumbering the FP defenders; ANBORN and HALETH of North
Gondor, brave DERNHELM of Rohan. By adding his HC the DS will probably be
able to destroy the bridge over the Anduin if they so decide…do the FP
have enough timber for a third Os bridge?
At 3124, last turn saw the North Gondor forces emerge victorious under the
banner of BARANOR. Both PARMENIAN and CELEDHRING of Barad-Dur were captured,
though the latter later escaped. However, BARANOR is greatly outnumbered at
Morgul this week…
Elsewhere it had been noted that the CORSAIRS are building armies. We know
much about what`s going on. We can only say that the QA has armies too and
the backing of the nearby Khand Easterlings…
FREEP DEAD:21
FREEP M-I-A: 2
DARK DEAD:4
DARK M-I-A:3
Keep up the good work, praise SAURON, etc
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath.
So where are the bold freeps? They are unusually quiet, perhaps we have demoralised them so much that they are afraid to raise their heads above the parapet? Don`t make yourselves a target for our rampaging agents, huh? Poor, wee woodfolk are getting it all ways, and what do the freepsters do? Chuck more meat into the grinder! LOL as they say in gameworld…
THE VOICE of Adunaphel 
Hail Comrades!
I have hardly any time for an in depth report this week, but im sure it will only go further to painting a picture of the situation of doom that the Freeps find themselves in! I have started the promotional tour for SAURONs
LITTLE RED BOOK. Essentially it is the story of his struggle back from
obscurity following the last war; the so-called Last Alliance of Elves and
Men. It encompasses his time that he was imprisoned, the Dol Guldor days and
his triumphant rise from the ashes to his position as SUPREME LEADER of the
3rd Empire. It is available at all good outlets, cost 10gp. A bargain in my
opinion. I will be giving readings of his wisdom and political theories of
the superiority of the Mordorian races at a location near you soon! But, how
goes the War?
ANGMAR:
The Witch-Kings realm remains relatively quiet, although it appears that
ARAGROAN has had the cheek to lead his thieving-pikey rangers to the
northern gates of Mt.Gundabad. We really must commend him upon his bravery
if he thinks he can assail Gundabad and leave with his life intact! Or
perhaps it is not bravery that drives him…perhaps he isn`t as bright as
some would give him credit for? Or perhaps he too is not immune to the
fervent whisperings of EL-DRONE? Further south ROGROG continues to be of
annoyance to the free; he torched the village at 2113 and is now at the
Sinda camp of 2111. There appear to have been some moves to track his army
down, but they seem inneffectual…
MIRKWOOD:
The picture in Mirkwood hardly looks any better for the sad freeps and the
rump-nation of woodmen [insert own jokes here]. At 2406, MURAZOR [with the
aid of a friendly dragon] routed the army of ASCARNIL and killed the sorry
commander. Meanwhile, at 2405, BOLG faces a small army under the persistent
command of GRIMBEORN. With the death of BEORN, perhaps he is the new leader
of the “nation”? However, we do not see what 200 troops can do against the
might of Angmar! Their near neighbours, the Silvans [3rd class elves] are under almost as much pressure; at their capital this turn DORLAS was kidnapped and ULBAR was assassinated, resulting in the loss of the capital army. The Woodmen capital remains hidden by necessity, being hard pressed by Dog Lord cavalry. DAUMDORUT chose to move south this turn and was blocked by the ignoble ERIDAL of the Sinda Elves at 2614. At 2716, GROSHMOG of the Dragon Lords nation moved out from his capital and blocked an incoming
Riders of Rohan army. Meanwhile, at Dol Guldor, the Sinda deemed it a good
time to move in 2000 troops in an attempt to take the place. They will meet
the forces of the Dragon Lord under GASKBUZ at 2715 this week. A little
further south at 3017, the Northmen managed to influence away the village
only to be descended upon by a Dog Lord army under KRUXTOGG. It seems that
the fight for Mirkwood is well and truly joined!
RHUN:
The Eastern Front continues to be dominated by the forces of SAURON!
BULRAKUR threatened away 3916 and moved the Northmen village at 3814.
Meanwhile, agents of the Empire reduced the capital city of Shrel-Kains fortifications to a tower. But, the real advances for the Empire are being made by the Khand Easterlings: Dilgul has been reduced to rubble, Rhubar and Elgaer are in Khands control. At 4415 this turn, KIONID leads an army against a similar force of stump-merchants under BALIN. At the camp of Mistrand, the defending Northmen under GIRION are facing TWO far superior armies under BESSIE and URDRATH of Khand. And what of the bold THORIN? Oh, he decided to climb a mountain to threaten the Rhun camp at 3921. Im sure
there is a plan there somewhere…
FIRE ALLEY:
The focus of all freep efforts to win the war, it seems. Last week the
forces of the Ice and Fire Kings easily saw off armies from Rohan and North
Gondor; ANBORN of North Gondor was kidnapped after the battle whilst
futilely searching for a launch to get to the western bank of the Anduin.
The Dunlending Agent PADRAIG was assassinated. However, the Gondors keep
coming: ANGBOR of South Gondor and GORBEN of North Gondor led large armies
over the bridge and may outnumber the surviving QA, FK and IK troops 2 to 1.
Our breath is baited! Maybe, the freeps WILL be able to punch through when
those Duns and White Wizard reinforcements arrive? I guess we will see…
FREEP DEAD: 24
FREEP M-I-A: 4
DARK DEAD: 4
DARK M-I-A: 3
Keep up the good work, praise SAURON, etc
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath.
:eek:
Tales from the Sea:
Russangarunya’s men roused him from his drunken sleep and brought him out onto the deck of his great black ship. “Look, m’Lord, upon the coasts of Bar-en-Tiennan what we have found! Argh!!” Russangarunya stumbled cautiously forward and grasped the railing. His mascara-rimmed eyes widened as he cried in fear, “Ulmo’s Beard!! What be those large dark shapes, lads? Has some great, giant rabbit left feces upon yon hic beach? Surely this mammoth rabbit lies in wait, even hic now, to eat our BRAINS?!?”
Earnil II cleared his throat. “Lord Russangarunya, our great Transvestite Pirate Leader, those are not . . . er . . . giant rabbit feces . . . those are ships. We have found a Navy of Gondor. It is beeched here just like the Dark Lord’s email, er, I mean, “emissary”, said it would be! Praise be to Sauron!”
“Right then!” Russangarunya replied. "Tally-ho, hic, man the . . . whatever, get some sharp pointy things ready and . . .and . . . and I’m going back to hic bed. When I wake up, that Rabbit’s Turd-Navy better be mine lads! Argh! hic "
A tear streamed down Earnil’s cheek as Russangarunya stumbled back to his cabin in glittery slippers and feathered robe. What a great leader!
Later that day, Earnil II rode out and thundered into Osgiliath with 4000 Mithril-Clad Heavy Cavalry streaming behind him (give or take a few . . . and maybe it was Steel, not Mithril, they’re the same color, I can’t really tell them apart, I’m just a frickin’ fashion editor for Ulmo’s sake). Earnil was the Sexiest man in all the land save Russangarunya and he damn well knew it. He dressed special for today’s occasion . . . silver, glittering thong sandles, White Tiger’s fur buttless trousers, topless save for the strap of his scabbard, a feather boa, and a white tophat that rather resembled a giant marshmallow. Earnil yelled to his men, “Let’s show these Dark Servant’s how it’s done, beeoches! This town’s been under Freep control for way too long! Time for some redecorating! VOGUE!!!”
Earnil pranced to the front of the battle lines on his anxious mount and gathered his feather boa tighter about him. Russangarunya, the Sexy Beast, said the Boa would bring him luck. It was a special purple-and-green ensemble from His Majesty’s own stash! “We shall see, my Glorious Leader. Even if luck this boa brings not, warmth and high South Seas fashion it will! When you’re a Corsair, all the World’s a Runway! Now, let’s show these heathen how to dress for battle! VOGUE!!”
Will the High Fashion Sense of the Corsairs prevail over the mundane yesteryear loincloths of the Freeps? Of course, you silly twit! Now where’s my Midori Sour on the Rocks? Meow!
ps- It should be illegal to post on this board while drunk
Snaga picking his nose whilst watering his boar in the Anduin
He never thought he’d see this day! Never, ever, ever! Behind him was massed thousands of troops, stretching as far as the eye could see (even if those gaudily dressed fags from Umbar ruined the otherwise splendid view of rank upon rank of unwashed reeking ugly orcs (brought tears to his eyes that!) and in front a few lousy (albeit well dressed - he did need new boots he’d have to move fast every orc in the army needed boots) tarks.
Belching he leaned back scratched (and then ate whatever bug he managed to catch) and looked over the river. Thats when his heart really sang (well warbled anyway). On the WEST BANK he could see the banners of Durthang & Barad Wath (his home town). Reports in suggested they outmatched the tarks over there, sheer bliss.
It was a LONG way from the time when 10,000 tarks & horse w@nkers stood at the gates of Minas Morgul, a very LONG way.
From where he sat he could see the smoke from Barad Perras, Durthang, Minas Morgul; he could imagine the smoke clouds hanging over Barad Ungol, Barad Dur, Barad Wath, Carach Angren & Lag-zajarzot. Smoke from the simthies, stables, furnaces & fires. Smoke signalling the war effort of Mordor. Smoke that would see larger & larger armies headed for Gondor and parts beyond.
It was a good time to be an orc, a very good time indeed!
Snaga happily staring at the walls of Osgiliath and eyeing up a new pair of boots
Hail Comrades!
STEALTH. Its handy, isnt it? Just throwing out that notion for ya.
Anyway, the War continues to go well for the Dark Servants, even with the western “neutrals” toolling up to come visit us! But , will they ever reach their destination? The Mad Pirates have sailed into the conflict, i think…and the Easterlings continue to go from strength to strength in the re-unified empire. SAURON, welcomes their satellite into the fold. If any of the nine fall WRAITHDOM and one of those cool flying mounts await OVATHA and SANGARUNYA. Of course, the may have to elbow URZY and GOTHY out of the way. What an odd couple those Dark Loots are. You would think by now that they could give up sharing that dingy apartment in the Barad-Dur Penthouse and get their own places? But who knows what goes on behind closed doors? Perhaps they are more comfortable in each others pockets…
ANGMAR:
DEATHLY. Just the way MURAZOR likes it!
ROGROG burnt another camp at 2111 and headed west. An inneffectual posse of Freeps continues to chase them. What fun.
Meanwhile, at Mt.Gundabad, a bigger party is about to begin. Glad to see SARUMAN and Co make it. I assume you have all learned those nice SM spells? Especially good to see the White Wizard, are you sure you dont want to come over to the real path of righteousness? We can offer so much more than bling peddling elfies and stumpies! How is Bill Ferny by the way? Still got that limp and the lazt eye? What? Did he have an accident this week? STEALTH. Adjacent at 2204, the Rangers army is camping it up. My, ARAGROAN, has learnt a lot from his prospective father in law. Did you neglect to steal enough food, Pikey-Boy? Maybe you should have pawned the family jewels for more than EL-DRONE was offering? Look, you cant even afford a whole sword. Either way, the Freeps are making a big play for Mt.Gundabad whilst their capitalist empire crumbles all over the map…
MIRKWOOD:
…Speaking of which!
What fun we are having in Mirkwood. Im not sure the "3rd rate elves" or "Mutant-Wood-Lovers" will agree with me, however... BOLG OF THE NORTH finally overcame that pesky GRIMBEORN in battle, capturing the bold Woodlouse [strike another leader, Woodies!] into the bargain and marched into MAETHELBURG at 2508. There WAULFA of the Woodmen and AEGNOR of the Noldo await his army. Last week at the same place the forts were removed by DS agents and BORK [another badger-botherer] was assassinated. Nice. Meanwhile, at 2609, GLORFINDEL THE WIMP has brought more Noldo to aid the Woodpolishers in the form of TURTLE. I hate to think what will happen when the woodwellier has one of his "turns". Fresh from victory at 2709 ORGOD has moved to oppose them. It doesnt get any prettier in Eastern Mirkwood for the Freeps; Seeing the Silvan capital unprotected by any troops, BHERAMEL of the Dragon Lord moved into it unnopposed. What are the lesser-spotted Silvan`s gonna do about that? Maybe one of their superior agents could intervene.
LOL, as they say in Dol Guldor. Not sure what that means, may be local dialect.
Perhaps, that newish army at 3109 can come to the aid of the Silvan Elves??? But, then again, perhaps not…
Further South,
DAUMDORUT defeated the paltry Sinda army under ERIDAL THE COWARD and sauntered into Dol Guldor. At the same time GALANDEOR defeated the defending Dragon Lord army there and is joined with the Sinda Army of LINORLAS there this turn. Just south of his capital city another Dragon Lord army was defeated by Rohirrim Cavalry which then decided to move to 2815 instead of Dol Guldor. Oh, well, at least the commander WIDFARA will keep HIS life for another turn! Nearby, the Woodmen capital was revealed [for the stinky pile of animal dung it truly is] again. With Caras Galadhon also revealed there are no doubt a few brown britches in Freepland at the moment. The Dog Lord recaptured 3017 and then moved down the road to 2718. KRUXTOGG faces the blocking RR armies under FEODEN and GUTHULF there this turn.
RHUN:
Ah the ever lovely [and soon to be restored] empire on the Minonite Rhunies! The Dark Servant Agents [tm] elected not to chop off the heads of stumpies at 4014 last turn and instead removed the forts there. The map is now awash with armies [and even some Freep ones!]:
BULRAKUR took 3814 and moved to 4015 where he will meet and destroy the “army” of KOLDANA this turn. In retaliation, DIS threatened away the RE camp at 3612. THORIN came down off the mountain [he threatened the much sought after skiing resort at 3921], but soon wished he had not; running into vastly superior forces under LEARDINOTH [BS] and URDRATH [KE] at 4018. Still look on the bright side–he didn`t get run over!!! BESSIE of the Khand Easterlings wiped out the Northmen Conglomerates Representatives at 4318 and destroyed the camp. Whereas, at 4415, BALIN destroyed KIONIDS [KE] army only for another to pop-up. The Stumpy-Beard-Fondler should have enough to take care of business there again and perhaps even take back the Town/Tower.
At this point i am contractually required to point out that the RHUN EASTERLINGS have a TOTALLY-MASSIVE CAVALRY ARMY on the way to reclaim his homeland territoy. Oh, and a Horde of Thirsty Camel Pilots from Umbar too. One of these last statements is a lie…
FIRE ALLEY:Old hat. All of this. Written way after t14 has run…let me quickly summarise t13; the SG and NG armies had equal forces to the DS various nations at 3024. We all attacked the SG armies, NG stood by and recruited. SG was wiped out. Now the DS nations vastly outnumbered the NG under GORBEN. Er, i think. Its so long ago and ive been drinking wine from the captured cellars of Osgiliath. Not much else to add…oh yeah, we executed that pesky ANBORN character. He was eating us out of house and home! The foppish fop IMRAHIL was also spotted by REN THE UNCLEAN. You see what happens when you sneak up upon the leader of the Fire King nation when he`s about to have his millenial bath?!? Apparently there was no talking to the Fiery One and he chibbed the prancing regent of Dol Amroth to bits on the spot. No-one sees REN naked and lives!!!
t14;
Hail Comrades!
So, swiftly on to the events of last week, perhaps a corner turned for the freepies? Attack of defeatism over lads? I guess the fall line arrived from the western lands to lend cheer to the halls of Imladris and Caras Galadhon. Perhaps not Aradhynd though…smirk. The Freepies are trying to regain some semblance of control in Mirkwood. Rhun is over-running with Dark Servants [though the battle there is far from over], the Dunlendings and White Wizard are still tooling up. AND FINALLY; the Corsairs managed to deliver their tribute to SAURON and jump on board the 3000 Year Empire.
ANGMAR:
ROGROG continues to elude his hapless pursuers and has moved to 1708, just in case the Freeps havent noticed. Nicely in range of...well, YOU work it out. Things are looking a bit better for the Freeps over by Gundabad, where a big push is being made on the Witch Kings capital: at 2204 LOMELINDE was cursed before she could chib ARAGROAN. GILGAMESH was also cursed at 2305 and the Rangers army moved onto Gundabad unnopposed. The enemy cursers remained in place. Does MURAZOR need a new capital? Maybe. Perhaps the Silvan Elves could give them theirs? Oooops, doesnt look like it! More of this to follow…
MIRKWOOD:
It seems the fear of DS assassins [quite correct] affected the decisions of the FP at Dol Guldor. Two Sinda Armies under GALANDEOR and LINORLAS [prehaps ashamed at the inaction of ERIDAL] attacked the capital city and reduced its walls to a Fort from a Keep. However the brave heroes were dashed upon the walls after taking out the Dog Patrol under DAUMDORUT. Did EODUR LAVELOCH go the same way? And what a loss of all those pretty war machines! Still, this week the armies are queued up once more: WIDFARA and GUTHULF of Rohan and CELEEL [Sinda] face HARGROG of the Long Rider there this turn. At least the seige of Dol Guldor stopped the Dragon Lord rehiring, but what a cost! Further North, at 2508, the WK threat seems to have been finally thwarted by a combination of Noldo [AEGNOR] and Woodlice [WAULFA] troops with the defeat of BOLG. At 2609, GLORFINDEL THE WIMP and TURTLE [Woodmen] overcame a small Dragon Lord army under OGROD. There was bad news for the FP Conspiracy though--the Silvan [remember them? They did something circa TA 1869, so im told. Something about founding a sporting club in fetching blue and white stripes and winning the championship??? But that was a long time ago and now their glory is diminished]. This week their capital fell to the Dragon Lord army under BHERAMEL. The glorious leader of the 1st expeditionary force then moved onto 3109, which was handily left devoid of the Northmen defending army with the sudden assassinations of GLOREDHEL and the bystanding Silvan CAMTHALION [what WAS he doing there!?]
RHUN:
Continues to go pear-shaped for the Freep cause. Far from cornering the markets, the Northmen-Dwarven Conglomerate are gonna have to relocate their “product”. At 4018, THORIN`s army was easily handled by LEARDINOTH. At 4015, the Northmen army under KOLDANA was routed by BULRAKUR and MARCATIO was despatched by BULLY-BOY himself. This week Dog Leader faces the Bearded-Lady DIS and her hard-pressed stumpy troops. 4415 remains in DS hands after the latest victory of KIONID over BALIN there. And there are many more DS troops in the area than Freep! Nearby, there was a little better news for the Freeps where TINCULIN was stolen from MABEN. Grrrrr, you are SO gonna pay for that!
FIRE ALLEY:
And what of the lynchpin of FP strategy? Not looking so good now, is it? After the previous weeks debacle of failed tactics, the DS hordes overwhelmed the 2000 or so troops or GORBEN [capturing the leader in the process] only to see a paltry army under HALETH appear. The new NG comm being fortunate to survive the knives of DS agents…however the size of the victory allowed the Dark Servants to sneak two armies over the river to Minas Tirith. This week they will face the defending army under MARALYN. Great misfortune visited the House of Stewards last turn, where DENETHOR came down with a case of the Morgul flu and died. I guess this leaves FARAMIR as next in succession to the poisoned chalice? At least until ARAGRUNT can claim his throne *double-smirk*... As i mentioned earlier, the Corsairs finally came onside of the Dark Servants and sent troops to Osgiliath for the big push forward. They also succeeded in capturing the South Gondorian fleet and destroyed several of their former ships in the effort. Thanks for that from SANGARUNYA! I believe BOLVAG was executed? He wont be missed. Loser.
FREE PEOPLES:
DEAD: 34
M-I-A: 7
DARK SERVANTS:
DEAD: 7
M-I-A: 0
Keep up the good work, praise SAURON, etc
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath.
Well, Good thing we decided not to throw in the towel yet.
You burned Esgorath, but we burned/took two cities. (Both capitals!)
This game may go on a few more turns, especially now that we have the corsairs donating towns to keep us afloat.
Now, if we can just get out agents going…
Yes, we expected those losses, but you dropped the bridge at Osgiliath. Cowards. Have you looked inside Fortress Mordor lately? And I told you I’d be back to reclaim all that I had lost.
<<This game may go on a few more turns, especially now that we have the corsairs donating towns to keep us afloat.>>
Russangarunya
Russ, you expected us to take all the townS in one turn? Dont worry, we will come get the rest in just a bit.
While you raid the south Lothlorien, Shrel-Kain, and Mirkwood will burn. That’s a fair trade. And you’ll still never make it inside Mordor.
Rhun is about to be over-run, and Mirkwood isn`t looking as good as you think.
As for dropping the Osgiliath Bridge…is that an admission that your early tactics have failed in a spectacular fashion?
THE VOICE of Adunaphel
Wow, strangely quiet for this group.
I’d expect alot of taunting and gloating about the Rhun area. I have to admit, We NM are feeling a bit picked on. Ok, yeah the Rhun know the feeling, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. 
Well, if you wont gloat about your successes, then I’ll brag about a few of ours. Another WK capital burned, and his current one in the crosshairs again this turn. Where you going to relocate this time? (Not that the DS seem to be having a shortage of MTs mind you.)
Kind of a rough turn for the corsairs, eh? I know Russ, we didn’t take all of your towns yet. We are working on it, but a few (I think?) fell last turn. Heck, you are so far from me, I dont even get all the good gossip. Correct me if I’m wrong, but did the mighty corsair navy get OVERRUN?!? Wow, thats the first time I’ve ever heard of that happening. I’d imagine that General Sangarunya is running around trying to find a life jacket right about now. I hope he can tread water.
Oh by the way, I was told to pass along a thinks for the timber shipment to Os.
Just when will I take your capital that’s the only question. Then a village, a couple of camps and we’re free of your taint for the rest of the game. Nice enough defence but could do better… All you need to do is move out of the way, give me your pcs, and I can move onto pastures greener.
Clint (KE - player)
I told you I’d be back to reclaim all that I had lost.
You know Ben, when you said you’d be back I expected to see a Rhun army. Not you standing behind Clint saying “Yeah, what he said”
He’s the one carrying the big stick. I’f he’d only done the right thing and used that stick on mordor…