Snicker I know something you don’t know…
Just because you can’t see my army doesn’t mean I don’t have one.
- Ben
Rhun Easterlings
<<Correct me if I’m wrong, but did the mighty corsair navy get OVERRUN?!? >>
- I must correct you as you are indeed wrong. * A * mighty corsair navy got overrun, not THE mighty Corsair navy. But you already know that as you have SG’s and Sinda’s pdf. First time I heard of it too. Yeah, my turn was so “good” I was actually in laughter as I scrolled through it. Well, as much as I could laugh between the stabbing pangs of my new multi-week migraine. Why don’t you guys get some migraines and take a load off me? I need some help here.
Ah, but enjoy it while you can. The Revenge of Russangarunya draws near. Yo ho ho! Next week your arse be mine. Now, where’s my imitrix nasal injection pain reliever . . . . ouch . . . .
Russangarunya
Ben, Why dont you ever reveal your secrets? A good example might be “Hah! You just havn’t seen my 2000 man HC army off your maps at 4417 that will be marching (fed) to 4415 this turn.” That would be much more usefull than “I know something you dont know…” Heck, I hope so, I would think you know alot of things I dont know. Your dogs name for example. 
At least Russ let us know we made his head hurt. (Although I already knew that. I always make his head hurt. We saw that from game 225.) By the way Russ, I do hope you feel better, but I cant help but notice that the headaches came back when you flipped DS. Perhaps it is Ben Min, and not me!
Anyway, worst of luck to the DS on this upcoming turn.
I told you I’d be back, and let me see now… Why, yes, Riavod is mine again. How long do you think before I have it back up to major town status? Yes my cousins from the south came and helped, and I do appreciate their efforts, but the Northmen and Dwarves are in a world of hurt now.
- Ben
Rhun Easterlings
FAO NM - Hya Ben - sorry it’s taken me so long to take 4013 - this turn should get it (let’s see 255 right?!) Most tardy of me. Tried convincing the guys I didn’t need any agent support but I guess they like you characters.
Couple of places to clear up down south and if you would be kind enough to return my pc that would be great.
Clint (KE - player)
53 warships??? Ha ha ha!! You guys must be REALLY scared of me!! I’m proud to of made you waste your resources in this respect. 25 would have done the job. Or not letting me have Gondor’s would have helped. Hmmm, now what did I do with Gondor’s navy . . . .
My apologies on not returning the two Dunlending agents “safely”. We did not “execute” them and make grog of them as the malicious rumors suggest. They were . . . uhm . . . lost at sea. By mistake. Yes. An accident! Now, pass me another glass of Cap’n Russangarunya’s Special Red Grog!!!
"They were . . . uhm . . . lost at sea. By mistake. Yes. An accident! "
–Maybe the were [ahem] run over???
THE VOICE of Adunaphel
The Dark Sun Returns, Issue t16-t7.
Hail Comrades!
As you can see i have returned from my tour of the newly liberated enclave of Rhun. The empire of the plains is soon to rise once more! But more of that later…what has been happening around Our Lord`s Domain?
ANGMAR:
The Freeps seem to have re-organised enough up here to effectively push MURAZOR out of his ancestral home. 2305 and 2306 were both reduced to rubble by ARAGORNs rabble. With the help of the FPs only decent threat; their precioooouuuuussssss curse-emmy attack. i hope they are keeping ahead of all the assassins in the north!?! ROGROG too finally got caught and his army neutralised. Still, it served it`s purpose. Apart from that it remains quiet in the land of the frozen-tundra and unnaturally stunted people!
MIRKWOOD:
This is where it gets [ahem] murky; the Witch King destroyed the Woodies back-up. The dragon lord destroyed the Silvan capital. The dark servants revealed the Woodmen capital and now sit on it with a large army under GRASHUKH. He faces a couple of desparate Woody armies. Running out of commanders, though, aren`t they? And perhaps a bit of goodwill from a FP team that has to carry them? Further south; Dol Guldor is back in DS hands after the the FP armies there were assassinated away and the Long Rider, Dog Lord moved armies in. A similar tale is about to unfold at the Sinda capital where three sinda commanders were taken out in the same fashion last turn. The Dog Lord is sitting on the undefended city/tower this turn! hoorah!
RHUN:
Ah, happy Rhun, the land of the great-unwashed! Its all over bar the shouting really. Perhaps the dwarves should admit it [the northmen drug-dealers have] and get out whilst they can? they can always relocate to the far west? The Northmen capital will fall this turn, with the dwarves merely hoovering up scraps and really in no opposition to face off agains the easterling charioteers. At 3713 this turn GIMLI will be put to the sword. The forts at the NM capital have been reduced and the Khand Easterlings have more than enough troops to take the place. Time to call the removal men. Good to see the NM commander Mary-Kate Olsen is over her illness and back in the field. I wouldnt touch the local stew though, Mary-Kate!
FIRE ALLEY:
Now this is where things get interesting…
There was a nasty surprise at Thuringwathost with the assassination of HARGROG or was it MORNADAK [never can remember which is which]. Seems like the FP are priming an assault on NW mordor. Whatever shall we do wrings hands in fake worry??? Osgiliath will [AT LAST] fall to DS hands and the eastern bank will be SAURONs once more. double hoorah! Whats that? 4000 of Sarumans inferior troops are on the way? Do they have large pointed sticks to recude Morannon to rubble? DO they have fire-proof armour? DO they have more trooops than us in NW Mordor? Let`s see…
CORSAIRLAND AND KHAND:
Well call Dol Amroth Corsairland for now. What the heck were the Sinda doing with 53 ships, and so few transports too? They must spent a fortune on that lot, and for what? They duly routed Sangarunya and Co. Good job he made a pratt of faling to load the 2500HI hed recruited. Another small CO navy was also over-run. Galadriel rules the waves, huh? Has a ring to it. Geddit? Ring. Hmmmm.
Anyway thats the rough outline of what you have missed. Ill fill you in from my postion at the eastern front soon. For now here is a tally of the dead as per usual:
Woodmen–
GUNDOR, cursed t17
Rohan–
FEODEN, assassinated t16
WIDFARA, assassinated t16
S.Gondor–
TEATA, assassinated t17
Dwarves–
Groin, assassinated t16
Thralin, assassinated t16
Sinda–
Celeel, assassinated t16
Eridal, assassinated t17
Sulilown, assassinated t17
Taderas, cursed t16
Tathar, kidnapped t17
Dunland–
Gwalchavad, executed t17
Tupac, executed t17
Witch King–
Araphor, cursed t16
Bogrog, cursed t17
Narkga, cursed t16
Strulug, cused t17
Ice King–
Vialli, combat suicide t16
Long Rider–
Mornadak, assassinated t17
Dark Lts–
Gorgun, combat suicide t17
Corsairs–
Braglomaite, PC t16
Deadeye Jones, over-run
FREE PEOPLES:
DEAD: 52
M-I-A: 7
DARK SERVANTS:
DEAD: 17
M-I-A: 0
Keep up the good work, praise SAURON, etc
FLATULENT REEK, Bard of Barduath.
Thralin was executed…not assassinated.
So your info regarding the Dwarves is on 50% accurate. I didn’t bother to check the other nations. Talk to the hand! woot-woot!
–Typo. Can`t get the staff anymore. Must remember to put those many FP hostages to better use. At least the Elven Conspirators can spell…unlike Orcish dungbeetles!
Flatulent Reek, Nr the Dwarven Capital.
Elves and dwarves still suck…
- Ben
Rhun Easterlings
So do the Duns.
Brendan
Duns don’t suck have to actually do something before you qualify for suckiness status!
Ren the blessed
Freeps,
Make the Pain Stop! I’m sorry I went Dark! Uhm, don’t tell “THEM” I said that, K?? Well, actually, I think they’re sorry too but that’s besides the point!
My headaches are gone and I’ve awoken from a fog of pain to find . . . MORE PAIN and Ruination!!! Curses on my commanders and blind challenges against my best agent who just graduated assassin school! Towns raising the flags of the enemy by the droves! My navies being run down or sank by mighty . . . ELVEN fleets??? SG navies on my shores! Retribution is a Harsh Mistress!
I am . . . your loyal . . . whipping boy.
-The Unforgiven
Now what’s the point of raising Rhubar to a town if I’m going to just take it over again? Why even bother?
- Ben
Rhun Easterlings
Just glad that WW army went towards Mordor after all…
Proud owner of Shrel Ken (or whatever it’s called).
Clint (player)
Ya know Ben, That Rhun sea area really was overrated. Now I know what a favor I did for you. I didn’t realize that mosquitoes the size of bats wasn’t normal. That strange fog that flows from the island in the middle of the Rhun sea that smell so bad… Thats not normal either. There are nice trees and birds and stuff to be seen around middle earth. I think I knida owe the rest of the DS a “Thanks.” No longer do I have to worry about hordes of Khand cav charging up to my front dorr, LR agents training in my capital, or damn dwarves stonmping all over my lawns. Now I can relax and enjoy the nice elvish women. Ahh the good life.
Wait a minute, now there is this proposal to live in “Corsair land.” Hell no! I’ve seen how hostile that can be.
Welcome to my world Russ…
Ben
RE
HEH… I guess I was the RE last game. Now I’m the NM.
Wow, that last shot to the head must really have hurt a bit more than I thought.
Ben
NM
I told you guys to leave me alone but did you listen? Noooooo, you just had to get all jittery, didn’t you. You displaced me, I came back, and now we’re going to sweep westwards. Boy, this is familiar…
- Ben
Rhun Easterlings