Not sure I buy the “secret khandian bank accounts” you mention. That would have to be a large bank to fund the pathetically poor Ice King, Witch-king, Dragon Lord, Dark Lts, Rhun Easterlings, and doubtless others. If the Dog Lord needs gold as well, the Dark Servants are in serious trouble in deed.
Survive a while longer. I want you to live long enough to see the splendid cavalry the Noldor will send from the armories of Imladris.
– Gildring
I scoff at elven cavalry, faeries that ride ponies…
Osgiliath has fallen, and three men of the east are no longer free to roam everywhere…
So far so good
R.
You still around? Sheesh…
Some bugs never die no matter how much you squash them. How’s the new digs? We’ll be visiting shortly. Oh wait, you’re eliminated, that’s right. Thanks for playing.
Hey, maybe he means the three wise men…
Okay, all the DS launch in to a chorus; “we three kings of orient are…”
Ouch, that hurt. Nazgul can’t sing for a damm. Be we are mighty sexy:D
Khamul
Tonn Varthkur, Jyganoth, Meonid Ito, Urig the Easterling-- all humiliated on the field of battle and in chains. I hear Tonn Varthkur is receiving rough treatment, being slapped around after he attempted to escape his captors. We will give him a chance to renounce Sauron before he spends the rest of his miserable life in prison.
The Riders are penetrating south into the plains of eastern Mordor. And another army has pushed past the Black Gate, facing inferior armies at Carach Angren.
Elrond has taken the rich mines of Caravad. And Noldo lords roam the mountains of Mordor at will.
The Free have armies at Morannon and Dol Guldur. This fortnight we will rout the pitiful DS armies at the ruins of Osgiliath and firmly control all of Ithilien.
Agents of the Cloud Lord continue to bumble along, committing embarassing blunders in their attempts to assassinate superior Free heroes. I hear Denethor laughed in the face of Zaken who was foolish enough to show his shadowed face.
And Sauron himself has nothing better to do than harass a Free village. I can’t see much for his slaves to take pride in.
– Gildring
Let me get this straight, you get one army past Morannon and you’re bragging? How long do you think those fools are going to last? Not very. Meanwhile you’re already down one nation, and North Gondor continues to lose commanders left and right. They’re running low, and that’s not a good thing.
Minas Tirith claims new Captains every month. Their heritage of martial excellence is well-established. And the markets that benefit your poor nations will also allow Gondor to name new captains as needed.
I’m glad to see you have fighting spirit, but the truth remains that the nations of Sauron are shrinking. Gundabad, Sarn Goriwing, and the entire Rhun area are almost completely within our power. We move upon Dol Guldur as we wish and fear NOT any movements from there.
The time will come soon when you feel our grip constricting around your neck.
– Gildring
The entire Rhun area? Uhmmm, right. You’ve got two tiny little armies and you have yet to take down Riavod. Man, you’re delusional.
As for Tirith, it’s hard to name commanders when you don’t have any gold.
Good day, minions of SAURON!
Im speaking to you from an unidisclosed location. My good friend BUGRUG has invited me for a short holiday with his troops in the mountains. It was very kind of him and he even invited my bodyguard, Tonn, too! Unfortunately it doesnt seem to be a hunting holiday as we were relieved of our lovely swords and cant even find pointed sticks to amuse oursleves with. However i trust this brief sojourn into pacifism will soon end. However i do fear for the health of BUGGY. I hope he watches what hes doing…BULRAKUR has an imfamous temper and doesn`t like hie leige to be absent from his court for too long…
DENDRA the vague
We allowed Denethor to live a while longer, his love of fire will be his downfall.
The agents of the Cloud Lord seemed to “bumble” right out of Gundabad without any interference. Hmmm, I suppose the dreaded elven agents werent up to the task of finishing off one wounded minion. Alas, they must be about even mightier tasks, such as composing poetry in the forests or picking daisy’s.
As for this “invasion” of Mordor we who serve the Master of Shadows fear not armies. We watch the fires spread from our perch in the cliffs. We see much and we know much. The doom of your minions is at hand Gildring. The Rohirrim may have entered Mordor, but none will live to see their homes again.
Shoglic
Scribe King of Ji Indur
Well, so now we know Mr. Roberto is the dread Pirate. I thought you were the Northmen? Ohh right! I wonder how long it will be for you this time?
The Blind do not see their own doom.
Your words reveal this to me.
Elven blades forged in Glosfana
will seal, as you read, your destiny.
From Gildring: The Noldo scribe who penned this poem knew that when it was delivered to me we would share a mighty laugh. And yes, the halls of Imladris lit with loud laughter upon my recitation of it. But orcs and slaves of Sauron are too dumb to understand Elven poetry, so it will do you no good.
You, Shoglic, should hold your tongue when you speak of the Eldar. You are far slighter than the least of us.
– A scroll message presented by Gildring from the Master Elrond
Gildring,
You don’t want to get my team started on poetry. You’ve obviously never followed our strings from old games. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!
Roberto,
So you’re the “Dread Pirate Roberto” now? Nice name. Good film reference.
It seems the Roberto-weed infestation is almost over!
Ovatharuss
Has the presence of FP armies in Mordor stunned the Enemy into silence? Perhaps it is the looming loss of Riavod, or the inevitable recapture of Minas Ithil that has the DS at a loss for words.
Whatever the reason, the stranglehold continues unabated. Sauron’s mightiest are being brought to their knees.
– Gildring
How are 200 troops gonna take a major town like Riavod? Oh yeah, thats right with the 200 additional you can recruit at 3916 every turn. Woo. Minas Ithil? Youre gonna lose that battle. You know it. Musta been a bit of a shock to have 2900 corsairs vanish in the wind thanks to one well-placed knife, huh?
You forgot to mention your “inevitable” capture of Morannon!
Speaking of which, please dont have Bugrug suicide the walls this turn, ive just had them painted. Also i wouldn`t like my captive brothers damaged by freep foolishness. Also the bank of Khand may be generous, but even they demand interest on their loans…
BULRAKUR, Hammer of Rhun.
Bulrakur,
It should not surprise me that a DS commander could be so thick-headed and unimaginative. The capture of Riavod does not require any additional troops, since Noldo lords have a way of being very persuasive without large armies at their backs. It is enough that elite Dwarven infantry cleared the field and won mastery over the Easterlings there.
But since I don’t intend to disclose our intentions, I suggest you raise whatever defenses you possess if you wish to survive the coming storm.
As for Morannon, it can wait. Since we routed your forces there and won the Gate, we will leave you your Keep for a while longer. It pleases us to have you looking so foolish atop the Gate with no army to lead. You will return to your kennels to raise another force only to have it routed once again. Careful you don’t fall into the same fate as Tonn V.
– Gildring of Imladris
We have nothing to fear from silver tongued Elves.
This is simply the calm before the storm. Our master broods and contemplates your destruction. Soon, all will be revealed and you shall beg for Sauron’s mercy! Pray he is lenient
Shoglic of Kal Nargil
Do not think, scribe of Ji Indur, that assassinations will be enough to stem the tide that approaches you. With the Ring of Wind and Curufin’s band, our agents will prove to be a match for yours. The loss of one of the Witch-king’s lords at Gundabad should demonstrate this truth to you. And the loss of another DS commander this fortnight will be additional proof. Do not underestimate the deadly efficiency of Elven agents.
So far, the proficiency of Sauron’s agents has been doubtful indeed. Carrog seems capable only of stealing gold from Imdorad, surely a sign of weakness or desperation.
We grieve for the ones who have fallen to assassin’s blades-- Thorin II among them-- but every death will be avenged. As it stands now, our military prowess seems enough to capture your commanders.
– Gildring
Carrog’s mission is no concern of ours. It simply furthers the greater schemes of Sauron the Great.
Enjoy your pathetic trinkets whilst you can. Our Lord will not allow you to retain them for long. The loss of one general in this war is a small matter. We have thousands who would gladly slay themselves if our master so commanded it. The orcs are multiplying and you cannot stem the tide. Your “victory” as you call it, is simply a stroll into the mouth of the jaws. Move quick, lest they close on you!