Dwarven Diplomatic entourage?.. Oh dear. We thought that they were affiliated with the nearby Circus troupe. Especially when they began balancing on each others shoulders and walking around. Things were going ok, until the ones on the bottom got hammered…
No one was injured, but there was substantial damage to the baseboards and ottomans…
There was something of a stir about the sheep though. Apparently, some miscreant turned them loose into the rooms of the Dragon-Lord delegates. There was quite a commotion for a while, but no sheep came out. I’m afraid the housekeeping staff will have quite the job when they depart…
Well, well, well. Bridge down already? Thats a chicken move if I ever saw one, and whats with all those small, rubbish armies scampering all over the Anduin Valley?
And what’s with all the anonymous neutrals? I count at least 2. Now I have to be paranoid that one of them is one of my sworn eternal enemies! Well, I only have one such enemy . . . you know who you are, you, you . . . enemy!
-Russangarunya
Non-anonymous Neutral (say that 5x’s fast!!)
All right, I admit the bridge went down… who knew that Murazor weighed so much? Have you ever TRIED telling him that he’s put on a few pounds? Last guy who did… well… he’s another one we don’t talk about much…
Anyways, the walk through the south will do you good I think- Faramir was looking a little ‘heavy’
if you know what I mean, and the walk will do him some good!
As for all those pesky little armies… we’ll kill them off as fast as we can. That’s all I can promise at this point in time. You COUDL help out by not hiring more of the little beggars ya know!
Greetings WK, surely you would rather speak to the all powerful Northmen. We may not have the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, but rest assured Mirkwood will not succumb to your horrible bunnies.
YOU tell him to loose weight! I have a few wives and several dozen whelps bashing each other to peices to take care of… can’t afford to go around with my head seperated from my torso if you know what I mean…
But yes, the Northmen ARE one of those nations that I want to talk to… After all, once Mirkwood is over run, we’ll have to go somewhere right?
Bwahahahahahaha… cough choke gag! Damn kids trying to poison thier old man again… sniff sniff… brings a tear to me eye! You can’t buy a family like this - leastways, not outside of Lugburz and not for a reasonable price!
Well there’s the rub, old man…
cheap isn’t always easy…trurst me!
but the nice thing about bunnies---- NO THUMBS!
don’t have to worry about poison in Lugburz if the kids can’t get the bottles open…
The Shrel-Kain Pharmacy offers a wide range of poisons especially effective against orcs in easy to open squeeze tubes.
“When it comes to killing orcs, who needs thumbs?”
As a courtesy to our WK adversary, the Northmen are sending a shipment of BlackArrow, the anti-orc toxin, directly to your offspring. Right neighborly of us, I think.
… yes that’s right- ANY delivery people that show up at the gate - shoot them and burn ANYTHING they’re carrying… yes, anything… ESPECIALLY if it’s for one of the kids… what? what do you mean? I see, one went past the gate a hour ago… alright. Thank you.
I knew the fang-paste tasted funny… Time to start taking anti-toxins I think…
Doesn’t cost much, certainly not like your master’s “sell your soul” sale’s pitch. Just gold and real estate.
So, what have you and your fellows been up to… can’t be putting all your eggs into Mirkwood, can you? Don’t make me come down there and “beat it out of your squeeze” (name that movie).
PS… what is the inevitable thing you are waiting for in Toronto?
Toronto has had the Norwalk (spelling?) Virus, Sars, Mad Cow disease, Sars again, West Nile Virus, Power failures… I’m sure that an asteroid is going to hit any day now…
As for eggs… I don’t know what you’re refering too… any ds icons seen in Mirkwood are obviously bands of soccer hooligans acting independantly and without direction or guidance from any of our nations. While we regret to see our nationals behaving in this less than congenial manner, we have no desire to interfere with the local governments’ sovereignty and right to assert thier control over thier territory, nor do we wish to impede the fans right to enjoy the sights and sounds of Northern Mirkwood during the busy Footbal season.
Party on!
Macman
I’ve always been a fan of Dwarf tossing- the latest trebuchet managed to launch one of the hirstute folk 2 miles! A record that has yet to be beaten…
The Northmen have been tasked to begin receiving the dark servent diplomats to discuss the capitulation of Sauron’s forces. First, you must tell Murazor he’s fat. Then you must tell your orc legions that they look like elves.
Any surviving diplomats may then come to Shrel Kain for consultations.
Sam- I don’t think we’ll see a lot of people meeting your terms…
Baz- Well?!?!? You complained about our lack of action, and what happens? Here we are, and there’s (almost) nothing to do!
How rude! I’m going to write a very stern letter! And mail it even! As soon as I find a scribe that can write in human… I suspect we’ll have a few to choose from shortly…
If it isn’t the dark voice or deep voice, or tower breath or something like that… I can assure you that my alliance has a few lessons in store for you as well.
“Spare the whip, spoil the child,” and I’ve got a big ol’ whip for you, my friend…
Shrel Kain Department of Education
“Knowledge hurts”
I don’t recall giving permission for visiting dignitaries to see the slums. I specifically ordered that they only have access to the merchant and temple districts. Damn.
Did you at least get your “Sauron Blows” T-shirt? Make sure you wear it at your next Nazgul convention, Urzy you wannabe wraith. Oh… and tell Muzzy he’s fat.
Shrel Kain Housing and Urban Development Department
OOOoooh! For the record, here in Mordor we refer to the tremendous BREADTH and DEPTH of the #1 Nazgul… we MAY go so far as to discuss his condition in terms of being thiness-challenged, but never EVER use the F word (didn’t your mama ever tell you that? Were you born in wilds of Rhovanion or something…oh…)
Anyhoo the shirt is lovely, Ji turned it into a nifty little garrotte thingee… he said he’d drop by and show it to you…
Macman
We LUV’D the housing projects… imagine- HOUSING your slaves… what a novel idea! Tell me- how many can fit into a cave?
Well, I only have one such enemy . . . you know who you are, you, you . . . enemy!