Will you be serving fish? For, Golasgil, Lord of Anfalas is allergic to red meat! No, seriously. Stop laughing. It makes me break out in hives.
Golasgil, Lord of Anfalas
Wow, still no word from the Khand or Corsairs through any channels.
Guess it’s time to go whack the mole…
==> Visual - a large floating eye - “I am Sauron and I approve this message.”
Voice over - The Nazgul Nine for Truth recently released a sorrid privately funded documentary on the elven plan of world dominance. The following is an excerpt from that film…
[clip] You perverted old hag of an elf whore… looking for “good hard men.” You will soon find the cold steel of my blade splitting you for good!
This is why Sauron is prepared to wipe this scourge from our land. Crossbreeding of elves and men must be stopped! Look what the crossbreeding of elves and dwarves produced - hairy footed halflings!
Elven crossbreeding will only lead to more trouble… you only have to look at Aarragon to understand. Pipe smoking, halfling fondling wanna be king is too damn old to claim he is the heir.
At least Boromir was a man’s man… Denethor raised him nice and proper - passionate, forward thinking, decisive, yes… wasn’t he precious… bring us The Ring men of Gondor and Sauron will protect you from the elven whores! Only Sauron can stop - Galadriel, Arwen, and of course that gender generic Elrond (don’t tell me you didn’t notice Elrond kept staring at the bulge in Sam’s pants!). Now you know why Elrond insists his guests wear robes! Frodo was better dead by our hands than end up in Elrond’s bed! Those damn herbs, teas, and the weed - don’t forget the weed are all a concoction to get those men into Elrond’s bed “for healing” purposes. Don’t think Sauron has tapes my perverted lil’ Jako, err Elrond!
Stupid tree hugging, love festival, pipe smoking Free people will never learn… soon we will implement our final solution and only then will you realize the error of your ways.
Dendra Dwar
:eek:
This message was a pre-paid advertisement for the by Sauron’s forces of evil as well as the non-profit organizations Orcs for Rebirth of Sauron! Any inquires regarding this message may be submitted in blood the Mouth of Sauron.
Oh dear…its worse than I imagined…
You nazguls dont get out much do you ?
And orc females are rare arent they ?
so that leaves Shelob, and the word is that she is,
let say, exentric. In such a situation it is
only natural that you project your dreams and fantasies
onto those you admire. If you were given time, therapy and
carefully monitored medication, I’m confident that you, some day,
could have a more or less normal life.
whats a Sauron, Nazgul or a Shelob???
Huz III
Quiet Avenger here, and I have to say all this blood, gore and innuendo is quite… interesting! (I think Adunaphel is the only female Nazgul right? Black leather, whips… need I say more? 
)
I look forward to taking up residence in my soon-to-be-aquired estates in Gondor!
Macman - Spokesperson for her most august personage- Adunaphel, ruler of the shining south, terror of Harondor, and down right mean person extrordinaire!
We will teach you my friend!
JCC
==> Visual - a large floating eye - “I am Sauron and I approve this message.”
Voice over - The Nazgul Nine for Truth immediately released the following response to the Free People’s most vocal leader Galadriel latest statement -
The Nazgul encourage an open debate on the facts. It is better to have informed nation chose its leader than hide behind lies and deceit.
Admittedly, the Nazgul do not get out much. The Free People see this is a problem? We prefer not to whore ourselves out. The Nazgul Nine for Truth recognize that as leaders it is paramount to protect the people of your home region. In this post-Battle of the Five Armies era, Sauron simply wants to ensure the safety and the best possible defense for his supporters. Why interfere with other regions, when you own house is not in order?
Ask the people of Middle Earth - who what they would prefer…
A nation lead by committee comprised of 1) meddling Elves, conceited and convinced they are wiser beyond their years, 2) stubborn Dwarves, secretive cave dwellers - who really knows what goes on in the dark down there?, 3) immature men, enough said, and 4) a minority contingent of crossbred Half-Elves, Halflings, and unspeakable arcane staff wielding “wizards”? Or a nation lead by a seasoned, experienced, professional executive with a vision for the future?
Galadriel would leave us to believe Sauron simply offers you dreams and fantasies. In reality, it is the Free People’s drug ladden halucinations that blur the reality of what is needed for our great nation.
The Free People can learn something from Sauron - patience, persistence, preparation, and old fashion perspiration can go a long way. Simply stated, it was Sauron who had a vision of a unified Middle Earth. It was Sauron who forged the One Ring. Remember -
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!
As for projecting… we see the true colors of the Free People. Attacking our fair people of our region - the Orcs! Alas, Orcs have feelings too, mostly the delight of devouring a plump dwarven arse, or nibbling the lean Elven extremity.
Again, Galadriel’s statement is very telling on the vision the Free People have for our fair nation - medication and therapy (obviously sexual)!
We now have evidence that the Free People plan to distribute weed through its clinics disguised as pubs. Intelligence reports have identified a number of halflings transporting pipe-weed throughout Middle Earth. It is apparent that the Shire is the primary source of pipe-weed. Is it any wonder why Aaragon spent some much time in the Shire prior to his claim to the throne? It appears, Aaragon and the Elves had laid their plans ages ago - no need to set the people of Middle Earth free, when you can undermine their will by simply medicating them into submission.
And Galadriel’s “therapy”? The unabashed arrogance of the Elves is visible for all to see. A thousand years of Elven experience, and the best the Free People can offer is Elrond’s services to heal us?!? Is this the future you want for your children?
The Nazgul Nine for Truth will leave you with these final thoughts, why have we not heard from Elrond himself? Elrond cowers behind his mother-in-law’s skirt. The question is truly not who is behind Galadriel’s skirt but under it!
Dendra Dwar
:mad:
This message was a pre-paid advertisement for the by Sauron’s Forces of Evil - a Delaware Corporation.
Excuse me, but us Nazgul like our medication unmonitored!
And all you folks that are coming with bells on are very welcome. When the bells stop ringing we know the meat is done!
We, the Captains of the Outlands, have two issues to raise with the Servants of the Eye.
First is directly to the whore Adunaphel. You dare threaten the lands of our births, while having been relegated by your own allies to writhe in the wastes outside the protection of Ephel Duath, the Mountains of Shadow. You are like a turtle that has lost its shell, soft and weak. Your death shall be quick and merciless.
The second is in response to charges brought by Dendra Dwar, the Dog Lord. We like our drugs.
Signed,
Imrahil, Prince of Dol Amroth
Duinhir, Lord of Morthond
Golasgil, Lord of Anfalas
Angbor, Lord of Lamedon
The Captains of the Outlands of Gondor
==> Visual - a large floating eye - “I am Sauron and I approve this message.”
Voice over - On the eve of batle, The Nazgul Nine for Truth ran a full page ad in numerous Gondor newspapers -
Sauron says… “TIME TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE”
Dendra Dwar
This message was a pre-paid advertisement for the by Sauron’s Forces of Evil - a Delaware Corporation.
“Excuse me, but us Nazgul like our medication unmonitored!”
…that explains a lot of the postings on this thread 
hope everyone had an eventful turn… :rolleyes:
Huz III
This is the Khand Easterling reporting in. I am new to this Forum so it took awhile…being slow and cautious.
I am reachable at lord_khazad@yahoo.com and look forward to hearing from all with offering for my loyalty…I think I said that right.
The sun is fun but the shadow is cool…
Ovatha, Lord and master of Khand
glad to have you aboard.
Huz III
Welcome to the forum, Khazad. I was getting worried that your absence here was an indication that we had Khand troops already heading north. Very glad to see you here, indeed!
For the past five weeks I’ve been working my day job in Colorado Springs, Colorado and flying out on the weekends to work a gig with my band in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. But that’s done now (whew), so I may be able to follow the forum a bit better in coming weeks.
So, unless I am much mistaken, the only Neutral not accounted for is the Corsair player. Have you been in touch with them at all?
Steven K. Mariner
Dwarves-27
You make “whore” sound like a BAD thing…
I don’t generally threaten- I am merely stating the obvious fact that the ‘wastes’ are blossoming, and Gondor is critically under-populated. A few thousand orcs and mannish slaves can be transferred over to fix that problem, and I have taken it upon myself to handle all the details! No- no thanks are necessary… I do it out of love for my neighbours and you won’t have to worry about a thing - it is well in hand!
Oh yes- my death WAS unpleasant… but I can arrange for yours to be swift and sweet… again- just trying to be a good neighbour. Since we are on the subject- perhaps you could relay my deepest condolences to your leige and lord, the Steward of Gondor on the loss of his son. I’m told he was killed in a tap-room brawl or some such thing. Perhaps Osgiliath is a bad place for young princelings…
Adunaphel - Ruler of the South
PS: If this last bit doesn’t get Corsairs to post- nothing will!
I shall make every wretched yellow eyed cur of Mordor pay for the death of my beloved Boromir. Even now Faramir, my lesser son, has taken up the command of that army and shall slay every orc who oozes down that polluted causeway out of hell. The Two Gondors stand side by side united, and not even with the help of every nazgul in mordor and the Lord of the Rings himself will you avert the vengeance of the sons of Numenor.
Denethor.
==> Visual - a large floating eye - “I am Sauron and I approve this message.”
Voice over - Boromir would have made a fine Captain of Mordor had he only subcumbed to the One Ring. The Nazgul Nine for Truth could have freed Boromir from the clutches of his sick and demented father Denethor. Alas the stuborn Boromir fell and his old man sends the North Gondor navy appears to pay their respect. With the massing of Gondor armies and Númenórean dignataries in Osgiliath, the Nazgul Nine for Truth had an opportunity to reveal more unnerving and revolting trends within the Gondor nation.
First we broke the news of the Free’s use of weed to undermine our population. Now we have far more frightening news… Gondor’s Houses of Healing are simply a front for lewd public bath houses frequented by male whores. Shocking accounts from Denethor’s pride - Boromir - provide specifics to what all of Middle Earth has suspected for ages…
Most of Middle Earth believed that a bitter old man’s blathering about the loss of his son Boromir was natural. However, the Nazgul Nine for Truth dispatched agents to Osgiliath in an attempt gather evidence to confirm reports of Gondor’s so called unnatural “healing.” At first, Denethor began to bores us as he continued to bemoan on and on about his love of his strongest son. It was only after we rummaged through Boromir’s personal artifacts - admiring his Mighty Blade - we discovered his personal journal. Boromir’s journal explains why Denethor misses him so…
Boromir’s journal was extremely explicit and revealing about the father / son bond he shared with Denethor. According to Boromir, Denethor maintained an incestous love afair with his eldest son all within the Houses of Healing that lay in the sixth circle of Minas Tirith. With frequent trips to this inner sanctum, Denethor encouraged Boromir to partake in the “healing” process. As previously reported - Boromir was truly a man’s man. Although he was revolted by the lewd acts, Boromir performed dutifully as a son.
As Denethor became more infactuated with Boromir, Boromir began to loathe the old man. Boromir describes how Denethor enjoyed bathing Boromir even as a grown man and dressing him in lavish robes or personally adjusting his armor. Boromir wrote that Denethor insited on polishing Boromir’s mighty blade - it is unclear whether he is refering to the artifact or something else.
Boromir not wanting his younger brother to fall into the incestous trap of the Houses of Healing he warned Faramir of his fate. Alas, Faramir filled with jealously of his Denethor’s relationship with Boromir ran off to the retreat of Henneth Anun. Further research into Boromir’s journal revealed that strangely Denethor told Boromir early on that Faramir was not welcome to partake in the “healing.” Denethor’s own words reveal how Faramir compares to Boromir - “lesser son” - need we say more?
In light of this evidence, the Nazgul Nine for Truth now realize how prevalent the Gondor’s campaign of “healing” has spread throughout Middle Earth. The gender generic Elrond has rumored “healed” many within the walls of Imladris. Again the threat of interbreeding of men and elves is eroding Middle Earth’s will. The Nazgul Nine for Truth reiterate its previous decree that Sauron is prepared to wipe the dangerous scourge that spreads across our land - crossbred elves and men.
Our orcs report that Prince Imrahil - a crossbred himself - was spotted in Osgiliath wishing to say goodbye to Boromir. Perhaps Imrahil was looking to parry Boromir’s Mighty Blade one last time? The Nazgul Nine for Truth may order our orcs to strip him down and provide him with a public flogging (perhaps he would prefer a spanking?), Middle Earth see Imrahil’s short comings in all areas!
Alternatively, our orcs report that Regent Adrahil II is a tasty target. Although we would have to discard Adrahil’s puffy pirate shirt and comically feathered naval hat. Haarr… Haarrr (pirate laugh).
Dendra Dwar
This message was a pre-paid advertisement for the by Sauron’s Forces of Evil - a Delaware Corporation.
Haha I didn’t realize Ji got a +20 to character assassinations too.