Very nice,
looks like we can spend all our gold for lipstics and make-up ?!
What do you think about a " Miss-Middle-Earth-competition " ?
Details like mud-catching and wet-t-shirts needs to be defined.
Let’s have some fun, Urzahil
Jill, Jill, Jill…
We all know who our lord Sauron voted for the Mordor Queen, it was me, but then you came along and I was banished to the stupid forests. Away from the sulfurous order of my beloved Mordor, away from the hot, desert like climate that I love so much. This is because of you, you who caught my lord Sauron’s eye, you who look the love of my life away from me. I, who am second of the nine, foiled by the fourth of the nine. Curses, I’ll have to make due with my princess skinned purse.
Jill Indur, you might think that I hold a grudge, but I don’t. I know our lord is fickle, and soon he will tire of you too and you’ll have to make due with killing and skinning our foes like I have to now. Maybe, it’ll be that cross-dressing Elrond’s who next catches our lords eye. I’ve seen Elrondnita in a palantir, and my-o-my, is she/he a knockout.
Khamulia
She who holds no grudge
HMPH!
Well, Khamulia, if YOU don’t care for nice gifts, then perhaps Jill will! We’ll just spend our money on HER from now on! We’ll… oh BOTHER - someone’s been in the danged vaults AGAIN! We really need to put better locks on them.
As for the errant horse-****, I promise, I’ll go pick up a bronxe-plated pooper-scooper for each rider. I’m terribly sorry about the smells and such and appreciate you all making that extra effort to pick up after me in the past.
The peasant revolt was put down and we should be able to come play again in a few months, Urzahil. Apologies for the delay.
- Mahracared, Suitor to the 4th Nazgul
Greetings Mahracared !?,
a new donkey-king ?
How generous that you will keep your horse-**** back with your armies, unfortunately they won’t come back, so it’s my problem again and you’ll have to pay the price for cleaning up the roads.
Fortunately you promised to visit me again in a few months, enough time to buy some new road-cleaning-machines.
Believe me that I would like to spend the gold more likely for new troops, but in this case the machines comes first.
If you would decide to come earlier, no problem.
I’ve got some extra entertainment, named Lamthanc, only for you !
Always yours ( as you already know ), Urzahil
P. S.
I can’t peraonally await you, I’m busy but Gothmoc can show you his results with his body-painting.
No no no ! It’s not you spending your money on me, but if you’ve filled up your stores maybe it’s time for a visit.
chuckles
Get in line, Jill… Din Ohtar has been seen at one of the local inns and the constables believe he might have had something to do with the recent bank robberies taking place in our fair towns! But TRUST me, Jill… diamonds are a girl’s best friend, not golden coins! I’ll find something appropriate and send it to you as soon as I can.
Now about Gothmog. I have some SERIOUS reservations about meeting ANY male orc who dresses in stilletto pumps and wears lipstick. The image is just too frightening to imagine and may keep me up at night in cold-sweat fear. I HOPE you’re kidding, Urzahil. That’s just too crazy to even joke about!
Your “ass” to the north,
Mahrcared
Greetings Mahrcared,
I guess you completely missunderstood that point with Gothmog’s body-paintings.
He told me that he will try to use the lipstics for his new warpaint - creation " Running Zebra " or something like that.
By the way, I hope that your horses won’t mistaken him for a real zebra, as always Gothmog haven’t thought much about the consequences his idea could have, but it’s his decision to perform it or not.
To bring it to the point :
You won’t see Gothmog with stileto-heeled shoes or with lipstic on his lips !!
Maybe some lipstic on his forehead or his cheeks but not on his lips !
But I should think about your idea !
Gothmog with stileto-heeled shoes and maybe with a handbag and a suit made of thick woollen material, this would throw you complete army out of the saddle.
Give me more of such ideas and we won’t have to fight with our armies any longer ( and that’s something we should strictly avoid ).
Allways yours, Urzahil
P. S.
Take care about Jill, if you would give her the diamonds as a gift she would only use them to construct some new glass cutters and your gold will be away much sooner than before.
Sigh…
Since ya’ll would rather play with Jill Indur, I guess I’ll have to make me a new handbag.
Where’s that slut Nimrodel?
Khamulia
feeling lonely and dejected
What?
No reply from Nimrodel? I know she’s afraid of me. My beauty surpasses her (and my viciousness;) ).
So, where’s Galandriel? I’ll turn that fat cow into a suitcase.
Khamulia
EEK!!!
We were in danger of going to the second page. That would of been a disaster of epic porportions (sorta like the disgraceful fall of little glorfindel).
But, as always, Khamulia and her purse of death saves the day.
Khamulia
Hi Babe,
we’re going back to the 2. page ?
I think we progress with our plans and we’re not going back !
I can’t do very much against the silence of the Free, maybe they’ve noticed that they can’t win.
Forever yours, Urzahil
Urzahil,
You were always one of my favorites, despite you not being a Nazgul and all. One day, don’t worry, you’ll be dead like us and we’ll all party then, let’s say at Rivendell, or Minas Arnor. We’ll party so hard we’ll bring down the walls, wait a minute, Rivendell hasn’t any walls, and it isn’t even hidden, in fact, it no longer belongs to the pointy ears! Well then, party at Minas Arnor!!!
Khamulia
Hi Khamulia,
party at Minas Arnor that would be great !
Unfortunately I have some guests and I must get rid of them before !
I haven’t invited them but now they’re here.
Allways yours, Urzahil.
Urzahil,
Maybe we should have a quick kill party at your place? I could bring my purse and Jill Indur could bring her sharp daggers!! Ya, that’s it, we’ll meet at your place and get rid of those unwanted guests. I hear it’s Elrondnita and his gay band that’s came to visit. Gees, there goes the neighborhood.
Khamulia
Hi Khamulia,
quick-kill-party would be great.
I hope we can invite my special guests to this party.
All the Best, Urzahil
Ahh, My Dearest Nazguls, With all this talk of a party, do not forget to celebrate the fall of Arfanhil’s nation! Not even a worthy foe like Murazor. It was so easy to slip inside his vaunted, Do Not Move Here!! zone he declared to us. Arfanhil arrived home in time to watch his nation burn!!! Pity. Arfanhil should have stayed home & coveted his petty semblance of a ring or was the plan all along to have him flaunt & threaten then be hung out to dry by the rest of the Dark Servants of Sauron??? Murazor now stands alone again & shall be driven from Angmar shortly. Keep your warpaint or lipstick fresh my friends for you never know when the Free People knives will strike. Poor Hoarmarath had nary a time to touch up his & was sent to his final rest looking a bit shabby.
Lastly, I should like to endorse the Prettiest of Middle Earth competition. I would send my daughter as a representative of Arthedain but alas we all know the story there. My vote will go to the sweet tongued Khamulia then, bearer of the Handbag, wife of Sauron, gazer of palantir, slayer of Glorfindel, owner of many titles.
This is all the time I have today! Please keep in touch, but not too close!!!
Argeleb of Arthedain
Greetings Argeleb,
haven’t heard much from you during the last weeks, but it looks like your still alive !
Damned,
so the wet soap my agents placed nearby your throne doesn’t worked. Not even a broken leg or arm ?
Must stop at this point, guests are waiting.
Good gaming, Urzahil
(Reverse of a stray post card from Minas Anor)
Dearest Gutrot,
Our armies are now camped around Minas Anor. The natives aren’t too friendly, which is great, because they don’t put up much of a fight either. We’ve so many for the arena, we hardly know what to do with them. Even Niggle, our half-crippled scullion, has a slave to help him. Last week, our captain challenged an enemy commander (who bore the strange name of Curses) to a duel. I didn’t know the men of Gondor could run so fast! His armies didn’t seem too impressed. The survivors seemed quite relieved to become slaves. I don’t think anyone’s told them about the arena yet.
Your ever lusting friend,
Maggotia
EEEEK:mad:
Had a ear ache (got someone’s blood in it, I guess), and what happens? The forum thread slips to the second page!!! This is a disgrace!!! If this happens again, I will personally spank everyone of you with the handbag!!!
A very pissed,
Khamulia
My Dear Urzahil,
Thank-you for the concern of my health, unfortunately I have not had a chance to stop home & bath in my gold-plated porceline tub & am begininng to resemble Ren’s monicar in some aspects. No rest for those who wage war, you know. It has been especially difficult getting the troll & orc bloodstains from my hand-tooled genuine leather saddle from all this war making in Angmar. I certainly hope to purchase a new saddle sometime before the summer march to Mordor. My old leathersmith has long since passed, perhaps Khamulia could see to a new one for me.
I have plans to visit you soonest Urzahil, or at least a few of my lesser commanders will, again, all my commanders are dying to wage war. It’s an Arnor curse this bloodthirst of battle we have. We shall see after these next few manuveurs I shall make & Angmar has been liberated.
Say hello to Elrond for me, I here he is vacationing somewhere down there this time of year.
Yours in War
Argeleb of Arthedain
Lastly,
Khamulia, while I disdain the Dark Side, I shall endeavour to keep our Forum to the forefront with you. The words of the Free Peoples shall prevail!!!