Argeleb,
That’s the submissive nature I like to see in a Freep. At least you know your place now, groveling at my feet. See to it that you stay that way, or I’ll skin you for a brief case.
Khamulia
Greetings Argeleb,
I’m really nor interested in you saddle, genuine laether or not there are much better ways to travel.
And for sure I’ll get some much better saddles from the horse-farmers !
Nevertheless, I’m much more interested in your head than on saddles or etc…
You want to send some of your Coms to me ?
I’ve thought that you’ve already lost enough Coms !
You’ve got still some Coms you don’t need ?
Why you want to send them so far only to lose them !
Murazor is waiting for them !
I’ll bet that none of your Coms will arrive at Thuringwathost !
You mentioned Elrond and his gay-gang, what should I say ?
I haven’t had the possibility to let him wellcome and to shake his hands.
Maybe next time !
Always Yours, Urzahil
Urzahil,
Now I’m confused:confused: ; I thought Argeleb’s head WAS his saddle (or at least the part that goes into the saddle).
Argeleb, care to set us straight on that?
Khamulia
Hi Khamulia,
maybe you’re right !
But I’m collecting heads and not buts !
These buts aren’t as decorative as the heads are !
Can you imagine to have a shrinken-but in your glass-cabinet ?
I not !!
Forever Yours, Urzahil
But Urzahil,
I can’t tell the difference with Argeleb:confused: . Which is Which?
Khamulia
Argeleb of Arthedain,
How nice to see one of the so-called free deigns to write occasionally. Why not encourage your team mates to write?
Gutrot and his friends are enjoying their holiday in South Gondor.
Once again, he is impressed by the amazing speed of the captains of Gondor - again and again our commanders issue comradely challenges to a little sport. But none can catch them! All we see is a little cloud of dust disappearing over the far horizon.
Anyway, at least the town of Minas Artur can’t run away.
Gutrot - well, he’s something of a camp-fire philosopher at times - Gutrot was wondering if it’s all those big armies we have. Maybe that’s what frightens off the captains of Gondor. After all, matching horse to wolf and human to troll isn’t really fair, is it?
One of our mages has been experimenting with a timing device - a sort of fast-burning candle which can time a 100 yard sprint to a split second. He wants to give it some field trials - the Gondor Sprint is becoming quite popular in the arena these days. But there are endless quarrels about who was fastest.
Yours,
Ren the Unclean
Greetings my fouled adversaries,
My falcons have been a bit slow of late & as I stated to Khamulia, I would assist in keeping this forum to it’s proper high standing. However, if Khamulia insists in not recognising proper anatomy or nations, remember, we here in Arnor do NOT call ourselves the Horse Lords, that would be Macarared’s arena. So this discussion about my well cared for & sculpted saddle sitter, which looks good in black silk PJ’s, while appreciated, should not be the topic of our discussions. We’re here to wage War!!!
Now Ren has quite pointedly pointed out that few of my allies would respond to such talk of handbags, heads & buts, yet the rigors & responsiblities of cleansing Middle Earth of the Ring wearing war mongers often only allow necessary communictaions between our allies. However, I will endeavour to pass this simple request off to them all once again. Perhaps Macared’s poetry a while ago scared them away or Nimrodel’s party last week has many hung over still from so much elven wine & her fine silk, belly dancing routine. I managed to collect several layers from her last dance that left many of us agog at her stunning, naked beauty.
In closing I would also state that I find that with spring here someone has taken quite a shine to Mithril as it were. Was there an engagement that I missed? That will be some ring! Might even rival the one Sauron gave to his wife.
Argeleb of Arthedain
Greetings Argeleb,
first to the saddle and what is sitting on it.
Once again : I’m not interested in your saddle and what is sitting on it !
Not now !
Only in the case you will visit me, like you promised, your head and maybe some more could get interesting again.
It was me, who told you that I can get much better saddles from the horse-farmers and it wasn’t your nation I meant with it.
It was indeed Mahrcared’s-nation, I meant with it.
Why I should move to Arnor, when having enough targets nearby ?
Good gaming, Urzahil
*Arriving on the doorstep of the Dark Lieutenants is one package, wrapped in simple brown paper.
Opening it reveals, in fact, a “Shrunken-Butt Replica” of Argeleb’s arse - and a short note.
“Heard you were looking for one of these rare beauties. Happy Muthah’s Day. Your pal, Mahrcared.”*
Come on now!!!
I was just kidding, everyone can tell the difference between Argeleb’s arse and his head, I hear the former smells better.
Khamulia
Hi Mahrcared,
yes you arrived at my gates, but will you win this match ?
I think we’ll have a tough battle and that’s what I’m playing for.
I have an enemy who’s talking to me and who understands what the word " fun " could mean in this game.
I’m really happy about that !-
You won’t succeed with you armies, maybe the Elves will help you with their characters like last turn.
Maybe they will fail, like last turn.
Do you know where Gothmog is ?
Write more often,
Allways yours, Urzahil
To my Dark Adversaries,
The eve of battle arrives once again & hard decisions have been made.
Yes Urzahil, I did state I would visit you, my preparations have begun to do so. Unfortunately Ji ( or is it Jill, we haven't heard in a while ) & company have arrived to pay me an unwelcomed visit. I am now inclined to give a proper reception. Let it be known that those who visit the Great Hall of Fornost Erain must do so with open invitation, not come slinking in through the back gate.
I am off to pay Murazor a little visit with a few of my trusted. He arrived too late to save poor Arfanhil. Or perhaps Angulion is going to say a few words about the treachury of that nation & the wrath that was shown upon it. Murazor should tend to his forces, a few visits from his southern friends will not stop the forces of the Free People from liberating Arnor. Though he has been a worthy adversary, Murazor's time has now reached it's rightful end.
Yours in war
Argeleb of Arthedain
Greetings Argeleb,
I hope you’re able to do a little bit more than talking about your herioc dreams !
Come and visit me !!
Always yours, Urzahil
A number of floral arrangements arrive with a note
Urzahil,
I wished to send my sincerest regrets to you regarding Miruimor. I had heard there was some altercation between her and one of my men, Thuidimer. He has a bad reputation in our villages as a wife-beater and I can just see him now, calling out to poor Miruimor while wearing his stained guinea-tee-shirt and howling about feminist wenches. It’s sad really - apparently all the rehabilitation we put him through didn’t correct his problems. We will seek to take care of him for you and only wish sincerest condolences to Miruimor’s family.
Sorrowfully Yours,
Mahrcared
*Another day later, the following arrives*
Greetings and Salutations, Urzahil.
Writing requires work, and you know how much work sweeping up after hundreds of horses can be? By day's end, I'm simply too tired to pick up a pen! But enough about such things.
I do know where Gothmog is and have heard tales of his fearlessness in combat and his high-heeled pumps and lipstick. I'm sure he is a fearsome presence on the battlefield and an even more fearsome presence in the bedchambers. I sincerely hope he's headed to visit Khamulia and not the poor people of the plains. I made mention of the Bizarre One to my people and they literally fainted in terror. A number of commanders quickly strapped on their cast-iron-BVDs to protect themselves. I even told Elrond, but knowing elves as I'm sure you do, he immediately turned tail and fled into the mountains again. I hate elves.
I also see you've managed to sway my neighbors, the Easterlings, somehow. I had high hopes that he'd maintain his neutrality, but I can see that just won't be the case. It's too bad really - we had so much in common. Perhaps word of Gothmog struck more fear into him than I had thought.
In closing, I visited an Oracle recently who suggested that my life-line was near an end. Something about warring on too many fronts and not enough time spent in love. I had hoped that Jill Indur would accept my offer of a date, but heard recently that she found Argeleb more attractive. *sigh* There's just no hope for the Horsemen - no matter how well we're hung.
I salute you, Urzahil. Hopefully, I'll offer you the challenge you seem to desire so greatly before my time comes to an end.
Your Pal,
MahrcaredGreetings Mahrcared,
you are a great king and you’ve done well with your challenge !
Looks like your training has given you the ability to challenge my minor characters.
This hapenned one time and it won’t occur again !-
You hate the Elves, why you’re playing with them ?
I know they promised you something and weren’t able to fullfill it.
Now you’ve got what you want !
You’ve done it yourself, with your own performance !
Do you really think you need the Elves ?
Bye, Urzahil
bah - original posts fail me at the moment - just couldn’t stand to see us slip onto page 2… 
(Postcard picture:
A dead dragon, run through with a lance.
The obligatory maiden, bound to a post: she looks pissd off.
The knight, climbing out of his armour in a lewed manner.
Caption: “Chivalry is dead”)
Dearest Gutrot,
Minas Arthor was a gass. Those North Gondorians are such fun to play with! We’ve just stopped off at Camp Tarnet - cook said the frogs from its rivers are particularly tasty. And who should show up? Some rake from South Gondor with a gang of hooligans - just our type!
Calls himself Lord Belch… no, Lord Bleauch, no, that’s not quite right either, well, when you pronounce it, it sounds like being sick. Anyway, when our scouts first reported Lord Beleaurghch was on his way, Scullion Niggle got really upset - thought he was complaining about the food - and dumped a cauldron over the scout’s head!
Will write again after the battle.
Your ever lusting friend,
Maggotia
Hi Dranob,
what do you mean ?
Do you mean your armies are a long away from home while we’re burning your home ?-
Some greetings to Argeleb at this point.
Looks like it isn’t so easy to catch Murazor.
" The friends from the South " have done a good work, while you’re amusing somewhere else.
At least some greetings to Aivnec :
Heyja Aivnec, I hope you won’t get a stomach-ache because of this pointy and hairy ears of Gildor !
Always Yours, Urzahil
Hi Khamulia,
Jill told me to give some thanks to you !
She used the handbag and as always, it was deadly.
She promised me the shrunken heads of Morwen and Sarkar !
Looks like I must buy a second cabinet, I don’t have the place to storage and present all these heads in my old glass-cabinet.
This time I’ll buy a larger-one.
I need some space for Harad-heads !
The head of their king “Haruth Ramam” already arrived at Barad-Dur.
Unfortunately the courier who brought me this head weren’t able to cool it enough before preparation.
Now his face is a little bit more creased than before.
I think this won’t be a big problem, when shrinking this head he will look like all the others.
Always Yours, Urzahil
Heya Free People,
what’s on ?
Why aren’t you posting some replies ?
Did our last actions have taken your breath ?
Always yours, Urzahil