Well, well, he wins one battle and thinks he has won the war. LOL
So let’s see, there are several thousands of Elves in front of his capital, minor detail or has the messenger not found his way to inform the grand master yet?
And what is he going to beat all those woodmen troops with that are standing just around the corner from where he is sitting on his log? The huge army of 600 odd troops that is left after the battle? Good thing he hides in the shadows like the coward he is instead of joining the battle or he would get his ass kicked this turn.
And better tell him to start counting how much gold is left in the treasury too, one nation banker tactic is no longer an option.
Hmmmm Elf kababs!! I wonder what they taste like. My poor guys have just got to put up with Gondorian Goulash, wears a bit thin after a while. :rolleyes: Wouldn’t mind trying some Southern Fried Gondorian or some nice Corsair Cutlets.
You might have to wait a while for that.
But wait, you Sauron minions do eat your own don’t you? There are plenty of goblin wolfriders, trolls and orcs just outside the black gate right now.
Khamul lights a herbal, cracks a beer then realising he has run out of hands, sits down on top of the newly built fortifications at goblin gate, now a thriving little community of hate for the freep.
After some empty threats from some nation or another he ponders the future. He knows he has invoked the wrath of the local wild-life but feels satisfied with the results. Dwarves, Sinda, Woodies in large numbers all flocking to his populations, then wandering aimlessly round in circles… They are not hurting anyone he thought gloomily.
He has heard from his ‘allies’ (untrustworthy, pretentious twits, especially that murazor) of huge destruction of freep forces around Mordor and is feeling
jealous and snippy.
Realising he might have to forgoe a few beers, pull his finger out and do some random act of destruction, he sighs and gets up off his butt. Bloody work again he thought, oh well tally ho and all that crap, better go kill some sh^%
From where I sit… still Owning 3124 and 3024 with No chance of you taking 3024… I am owning the DS for thier impotent strategy concerning Ithil pass and oZ…
Meanwhile getting your butts Kicked in Harad… You guys Winning! LMAO :rolleyes:
Interesting game of Chess we have going here… It’s kinda funny really niether of us willing to commit to a definitative course of action becuase the counter moves could devestate each other…
Aww shucks feeling special. Yes, Ithil will go this turn and we will be in a position to block you up at Osgil, still. The Knives have been sharpened, the Wyrms are arriving, it is starting to look pleasing. Well Ren is happy anyway. As for poor old Harad, Nth Harad should be taking a pasting, if you aren’t cleaning up here, then you haven’t been doing your job!
Lhachglin and Maben sat before a fire, slowly turning the impaled, roasting body of the elf-man, previously known as Elladan. :fork: ‘Nice shot Lachy,’ laughed Maben. ‘I feel the fight swung in your favour, right after you booted him in the nads. You think like the boss when it comes to a fight.’
‘Pity the sword’s an unuseable bit of elven crap, rather like…hey… what’s that?’ Maben turned, and saw the fragile hand of an elven thief reaching out of the bushes for Tinculin.
‘No you don’t, you elven pissant.’ hissed Maben, and with that smacked him in the head with the harp. The surprised elf Gildor, howling, he fled into the grasslands, to rejoin his scattered peoples. :bash:
Cries of ‘Better luck next time.’ and ‘I thought elves were sneaky,’ followed the fleeing elf.
‘We better get out of here,’ said Lhachglin, ’ If the boss finds out that Tinc nearly got stolen, because we were pissing around have a beach side BBQ, our arses will be grasses so to speak.’ :o
With that the two mages take a few paces away from each other, mumble some magic words and disappear. Maben is still chuckling to himself as he goes.
Just as the atmosphere is taking a pleasant icy chill, Khamul turns up with a frown. “Whats happening at GobblerGate, whizz-boys?” he snarls. “First the eagles go whining overhead, and now there are four elite armies outside the walls”. “Where is the dragon you promised me? Idiots, must I do everything myself…”
Khamul stumped away moodily. For weeks he had been bullying and arm twisting the rest of the Nazgul. “Keep Mirkwood and we will score a famous victory” he had bleated, repeatedly. “Give me your resources and I will deliver elves on a plate”. After a huge amount of shouting and whining and sulking, he had got his way. Murazor and Urzahil had been press ganged into giving up their emmisary artefacts. The whole nine had contributed to the timber purchases for the new walls.
Now… things didnt look so good. Gontran had missed his target (again). And what were the free people up to? Surely, surely, Goblingate wasnt about to fall? Gifting the Free People a MT Castle from which to attack Rhudaur? Blowing all that team resource that he had begged for? No… surely not. It was… just… unthinkable…
The REAL khamul is a bit concerned. He ponders his options to the future. GG does look like it’s in trouble but not to worry, it’s not meant to be still standing anyway.
Massive resources invested??? Naaaah. One truckload of timber from that hussy dunneyfell, and some of his own pocket-money.
He’d needed the WK’s emii artii for one turn, that’s it. Mimimal investment had attracted maximal attention, a fair trade.
In return he is being swarmed by elves, dwarves and woodmen whilst his allies the rhuad and that overrated Murazor are finishing off the last of the attacking forces. Dog lord cav and Long Rider riders are causing havoc south and east.
In the meantime his men have got just about every artii worth owning, as well as collecting some freep scrap metal. He felt like santa sometimes, dropping priceless artiis to his mates.
Ahhhh… now we see further into the ‘alliance’ of the Nazgul. At war when in life, they continue their internal conflict in everlasting death.(*) So weazley Khamul bickers with the 1st, while slapping Adunaphel around (**) But lets go deeper…
Which Nazgul secretly covets the Cloak of the Abyss?
Which Ringwraith has a hidden desire to challenge Ji Indur to “Fightclub” style combat?
And which nation-leader has a secret elf-fetish?
If YOU know the answers, write to us here at mepbm forums, marking your letter “Nazgul Hot Gossip”
(*) assuming the hobbits dont make it to Mount Doom
(**) always thought that this was a funny name for a former “King of Men”
Hobbits may get to mount doom, but it will be in a bag. How long do they take to cook??? Half a second at 3000 C would be my call. Maybe a little less if properly marinated. Nice and crunchy on the outside, but just like chicken, not safe to eat unless cooked right through :rolleyes:
We gotta take the piss out of each other, because there is so little good piss-taking from you guys
BBR please don’t post as khamul, we can tell it’s not the real product. Merely a pale shadow of MY true brilliance hahahaha
Adrian
PS i’m dunneyfell tooo, so i’m slapping myself around. hehehehe (that’s my girlie style laugh. I agree though, how did she get to be king of a male empire. Slept her way to the top hollywood style methinks. Oh yeah it is me, so i did :rolleyes:
The answers to this quiz would be…
Khamul But i’ve already got one
Khamul it’d be a huge coup in terms of the ‘internal’ relations.
Khamul :o me again. I always loved elves. BBQ’d, deep fried, even broiled if you have to. I love elves, go on five minutes with the witch and her bird bath and i’ll hand over…
Khamul sat in the smoking wreckage of the battlefield with tears in his eyes. He had consumed so many herbals and beers during the combat at goblin gate that he felt giddy. He wiped the tears from his eyes and sighed…he then burst into another fit of giggles which he couldn’t control and fell to the ground, laughing his ass off. He finally was able to stand and look at the grinning agent standing nearby, rolling his eyes.
Khamul reflected on what had just happened;
The mighty goblin gate stood proud and tall, even with no defenders it had held.
Reports from his capitol informed him that there were also dead bodies everywhere, and none were orcish :bash:
Sarn gorwig now also stood proud and tall and amassing troops.
Enemies…none in sight, or well if not in sight, not close.
He turned to the unnamed agent by his side. Nice one dude, thanks for the help
The agent merely smiled, bowed ever so slightly and disappeared into the shadows :eek:
Gotta send his boss a report thought Khamul. All round top fella i’d say.
Now he looked at the wreckage and became concerned :(.
His free range stock obviously had contracted the dreaded avian spongiform encephalopathy or ‘mad chicken disease’. :eek:
Bugger this for a joke he thought, i’m gonna have to euthanase the lot of them :fork:
Maybe i can outsource some stock from somewhere he pondered:confused:
He strolls over to the side of the field, ‘now boys time to work’
From the darkness two voices hiss yessssss massssster :hug:
The scene pans away, to the tunes of ‘you aint seen nothin yet’
My poor guys have just got to put up with Gondorian Goulash, wears a bit thin after a while. :rolleyes: Wouldn’t mind trying some Southern Fried Gondorian or some nice Corsair Cutlets. 
They are not hurting anyone he thought gloomily.
