Originally posted by Gildring
Blah blah blah, useless elven dribble…
Elves still suck.
- Ben
Dark Lts.
Gildring,
At my chess club we do talk serious smack during fun games ie
“Come on with it a$$h***”
“You motherf***ker, how could you do that to me?”
“Dumbass, how could you miss that move?”
Makes for a more interesting evening if I do say so myself. It’s all in good fun though.
Murazor
I guess Chess isnt a “thinking mans” game anymore!! :>
You’ re not playing in Central Park are you? :>
Gildring was all of a tizzy. The silk supply was late in arriving from out of the west…those darn enemy agents playing havoc with the caravans again. Elrond would not be happy. Most of all Gildring wanted His Master to be happy. Even the merest glimpse of a smile on His face was enough to lighten Gildrings heart!!! But, if Elrond could not have the latest silk breeches from over the sea there would be hell to pay. And what was his fascination with dressing all his courtiers in the stuff? Wasnt it enough that the ladyfolk had the latest gowns from abroad without His Master importing the costliest materials in which to dress his “elite bodyguard”? Those damn, young woodelves from the mirkwood didnt look that butch to him! Who were they gonna protect? Nonetheless, he had seen them in His Masters chambers practising their duck and cover routine, shouting "assassin" and leaping on a pile on the one designated as Elrond Half-Elven. They were most insistent on getting the maneuvre right and all took turns at being the leader of the free world. Gildring sighed, his job wasnt going to well. He had to admit that he was losing the propanganda war, and hardly believed his own lies himself. he had indeed seen a number of fine young elven “agents” in the training of Elrond himself, but he doubted that His Masters instructions were entirely relevant to the art of war…it was all getting too much. Even the court laughed at him behind his back, hed been on his hands and knees all morning scrubbing off the graffiti outside his bedchamber which read "Gelding Sucks". He suspected the woodelves, but couldnt prove it.
Arwen passed him in the hall, was she sniggering? That Aragorn had stayed over again last night. He didnt know what all the fuss was about. Elven-Slut-Wench, cavorting with a bit of rough! It had all started so well, even the dwarves believed his stories of impending victory, but the dark servants had turned the corner and now the money was running out. what would he do if the defeats started to mount up and he could no longer hide his lies, perhaps hed lose his job, or even be banished from His presence. Gildring didn`t think he could take that…it would all end in tears…but he would take those damn effeminate wood elves with him! and that slut-wench. and maybe even her smelly concubine!!! Gildring sloped off to write about the “successes” in mordor.
Many laughs, Murmur. Many Haha’s. I’ll let you live in the world of fantasy while we continue to kill your characters and plot your downfall.
Your false confidence now will only increase the pleasure we feel when your cities are ground to dust and the heads of your best commanders sit on pikes overlooking the rubble.
The look on your face, Murmur, will mirror that of those severed heads.
– Gildring, Star-hammer of Imladris
– Gildring, Star-hammer of Imladris
Is that a typo? Or is Elrond, Gelding`s little star?
TONN the Crude
Elves suck.
- Ben
Dark Lts.
Harping about Elves again?
You’re still raw about that Tormog death I suppose. And the loss of the Ring of Wind, which helps us kill one of Sauron’s slaves every fortnight.
Arador told again the humorous tale, and the joke is still a winner around here-- that at the time the Free didn’t quite have enough Sickness or Curses ability to kill a fully healthy Tormog. But we could (and did) kill a clumsy one-- the noise he made while slipping on a patch of his own slobber allowed Arador to slash pretty wound in his side before Tormog escaped. But in his weakened state, Tormog the Clumsy fell under the might of Free mages.
Such then is your bitterness… with the Ring of Wind, we will continue to extend your misery.
– message from Galdor
From the Gelding, Star-jammer of Elrond;
" I’ll let you live in the world of fantasy while we continue to kill your characters and plot your downfall."
Actually, weve killed 38 of your guys and captured 5. Also weve taken out 1 of your nations [the Northmen].
For the record you`ve killed 12 of us, and captured 6. We are still 12 nations under little pressure. Who will be next among you to fall. i know who i think it is…
KRUSNAK the Wise
Oooo! Ooooo! Can I guess??? Please???
waves hand frantically in the air
- Ben
Dark Lts./Eager Student
No whispering at the back there, boy! Or i`ll send you to imladris, and you know what happens to eager young students there!!!
DENDRA the stern.
Oh, I believe the Corsairs are quite safe. Even without Carrog’s bumbling at Umbar, they are well-prepared. Bring it on OvaryRuss.
Krusnak, even though the DS have killed three times as many charactes as the Free, many of our nations have reached the character limit. So the total number of DS characters isn’t much more than the total number of Free.
And yet, we have the Ring of Wind, the Ring of Curufin, and another to follow, which means we will be killing many more DS in the following turns.
As for the DS being “12 nations under little pressure”, that is comforting. The oblivious feel no pressure in their ignorance as the hatchet falls. I know what we have in store for you, you don’t.
– Gildring
From what I’ve seen the past few turns, the FP has certainly reached their “incompetent character limit”, especially considering all the artifacts you have. Don’t worry though, we will be retrieving those shiny trinkets soon enough by cutting them off the dead fingers of those who possess them. Perhaps the replacements for the dead (past, present, and future) will be more successful? Nah.
Murazor
The FP might be delusional in thinking you’re a “Mini Nation”, Murazor, but I’m sure they realize the great massiveness of your Mouth! 
Soon they will know your actions can match your words. Probably not long after they realize I have been greatly understating my own power.
-Ovatharuss
You should also include the Dragon Lord and Rhun Easterlins in the “mini-nation” status.
The DS keep harping about the eliminated Northmen, but I can’t see that the Dragon Lord and Rhun, and Ice King for that matter, have done much of anything, except be a drag on resources of the richer DS. Khand Amu being an example.
OvaryRuss, I should hope after 18 turns you are powerful-- we haven’t even glanced your way yet. But we will. Just in time for our blooming SM companies and super-agents loaded with rings.
– Gildring
By the way, the DS know Boromir has 2000 hi in Harad; and you know SGondor has a huge force, and the Corsairs are fielding an “army.”
I hope you’re prepared for 5000-6000 heavy infantry marching into your territory.
Yeah, the Corsairs are fielding a Quiet Avenger “Army” right in their capital!!
-Ovatharuss
And the field is where those QA forces will stay. The renown gardens of Umbar are closed for maintenance.
Took us long enough, but we finally found that major town. Now kiss it good-bye.
- Ben
Dark Lts.
How is that mini-NG nation coming along? And the soon to be negligible corsairs nation? Telkurhad went to join the other 38 freeplings in the hall of numpties.
BULRAKUR the blunt.