Then surely you have noticed the lethal killer spurs of the Royal Gondorian chicken regiment, and their piercing diamond tipped beaks. Used with the fine Gondorian chicken tactics, developed during centuries of warfare, they’ll break havoc among the ranks of clumsy trolls. Beware, the killer chickens are here, and they’re lusting for blood!
/Aragorn, soon to be king of Arnor and Gondor
So, now we know what the Gondorians were doing all those years in hiding! Breading superiour Chicken Cavalry a-la Joust!!!
Do they fly too? Just remember what happens when the Black Knight lands on your head!
I wasn’t referring to their troops being chickens, I was referring to their commanders and how they acted…
How about it, Cowards of Gondor? I’ll put up Gothmog and Bolvag, so why don’t you two put up Angbor and Baranor in challenge?
You’re too kind!
I’m sure the Gondorian knights are going to be very pleased with your comparing them to the royal killer chickens! Some take a bear as their symbol, others may prefer the more cunning wolf, but I’m sure Baranor is now going to paint his shield with the picture of a golden killer chicken tearing the eyes out of a troll!
And the answer the question, no the war equipped killer chickens don’t fly too well. But they jump! And they drop exploding eggs! Oh no… I think I’ve revealed far too much now. The Gondorian Intelligence Agency will come after me!
/Aragorn
It seems to me we haven`t had any dodgy poetry for a while…who would like to continue the verse;
There was young maiden called eowyn…
DENDRA the Sensitive.
There was a young maiden called Eowyn
Who came to Khand to find some men.
We dug her a hole,
Sauron rest her soul,
She’ll ne’er see the light of day again!
Whys is Ben starting a new thread? i kinda like this one...maybe it was Russs poetry?
Anyway, a message to Erkenbrand? Can you please release DAUMDORUT? He`s needed back at the capital for doing sells, retiring expensive troops etc…
thanks,
DENDRA DOG
Ok, we’ll keep this thread going…
Elrond sucks!
How do you know?
Have you been reading the graffiti in the Dol Guldor latrines again?
Anyway, on present evidence i`d say SANGARUNYA sucks the most…
DENDRA [ a long way from Umbar]
You’re right: we Free Peoples have started a poll to decide who has been the worst player so far.
Our beloved Sangarunya is for sure one of the favorites! 
But I’m sorry to say that, no matter how the Corsairs can play poorly, the real winning horse is Murazor.
He is by far the real winner of this poll. 
PS: I’ll tell Erkenbrand to free Daumdorut if you promise to ask Uvatha not to bother me anymore, OK???
I can ask…but UVATHA is so strong willed. After a cask of ale we just point him in the direction of stuff and he brings it over to our side. He has a bit of a drink problem, truth be told. Burn the cellars of your inns if you want to keep any territory is my advice…as for MURAZOR…he works in deep and mysterious ways…
DENDRA
Perrit International Concerts present a small excerpt from the recent Mordor Defence Fund Benefit Gig.
" - (thundering drum beat)
'This wicked little ditty is dedicated to some swines i really hate, the Imperialist elves with their dwarven and human lackeys!!. (loud cheering)
So all you freeps who have ever taken advantage of somebody, beat 'em down or hurt 'em, because they look a little different, have a different outlook on life, are the wrong colour, or whatever warped little reason you used. For every one
of you Sauron damned freeps this is for you…
(crowd goes wild!!!)
'I got my black robes on
I’m riding my black winged steed
I got my black hood up
I’ve been held down too long
Now the Eye has turned on you
So with my Sauron blessed sword
I’m 'bout to bust some heads
I’m 'bout to dust some freeps
I’m a…
ELF KILLER, better you than me
DWARF KILLER, sod freep brutality!
DUNEDAIN KILLER, I hope your family’s grievin’ … BURN ‘EM!
FREEP KILLER, now we gonna get even’
(thrashing harpsichord solo!!)"
Akhôrahil-T
The Plagiarising Minstrel of Many Guises
I would definitely have to vote for the Corsairs… Someone bungled up big time. As for Murazor, he’s fine. We have a nasty little surprise for you…
Overheard at the celebrations in Mt Gram. Our dear friend Aragorn was a little tipsy at the time:
I’m a Dunedain and I’m okay,
I ride all night and I fight all day
Mounties: He’s a Dunedain and he’s okay,
He rides all night and he kills all day
I cut down orcs, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory (Dol Guldur)
On wednesdays I go a-walkin’
and have buttered Lembas for tea
Mounties: He cuts down orcs, he eats his lunch,
he goes to the lavatory (Dol Guldur)
On wednesdays he goes a-walkin’
and has buttered Lembas for tea
Chorus: I’m (he’s) a Dunedain and I’m (he’s) okay,
I (he) ride(s) all night and I (he) kill(s) all day
I cut down orcs, I skip and jump,
I like to collect wild herbs,
I put on Arwen’s clothing,
and hang around in Umbar
Mounties : He cuts down orcs, he skips and jumps,
He likes to collect wild herbs,
He puts on Arwen’s clothing
And hangs around in Umbar?!?
I cut down orcs. I wear high heels—
Aragorn is dragged away by his sober friend Arador
Some of us have way too much time on our hands… myself included.
And elves still suck.
Aragorn sounds like one of us…except for the crossdressing ,natch. I would say, would you like to come over to the other side, but i think you already have…
Dendra
BUTCH DOG
Aragorn,
Sit on my face! And tell me that you love me . . . .
Ovatha
Also Drinking
“i like to hear you oralise, when you`re between my thighs…you blow me away”!!
DENDRA
jober as a sudge for now.
Bah, Aragorn sucks too…
And elves still suck…
Maybe that`s why ARAGORN is so fond of them…all those cold nights under the stars with only ELROHIR and ELLADAN to keep him warm…sounds so romantic!
Dendra the deeply hetero dog lover.