“Wars get started more effectively that way.”
–And allies mistaken for enemies…
We Nazgul don’t turn on each other until after all the elves are dead, remember that… And the pointy end goes in front.
- Ben
Dog Lord/Long Rider
Party at mine on the 29th, just a reminder
Oh and guess what, Murazors back from flower picking and has decided to let reign his evil tendancies. Hurrah!
Hmm. How 'bout 'dem Dilgullians?
About to be torched…
- Ben
Dog Lord/Long Rider
You’d think experienced players such as yourself would have gotten it right the first time.
'-)
And speaking of experienced players, I must say it’s been entertaining watching your marketeering efforts. It’s like you get it right three out of every four turns or so. Weird. Of course, with all those extra Pops you can probably afford a little carelessness.
And we’re still in the black… In the dead of winter… Gotta love it…
- Ben
Dog Lord/Long Rider
I would imagine it’s easier to be in the black with 17 fewer Characters’ wages to pay.
THE DARK SUN REDUX, Issue t11.
Hello PEONS of the Hegemony of Sauron, Welcome to another issue of our friendly little gossip sheet!
THE KINGDOM OF ANGMAR and ARNOR:
Unfortunately the Noble Witch-King has been driven from his own true realm by the filthy bunch of human scum from Bree and Larach Duhnan. If ever there was a competition between these mongrel bands of human detritus for who was the most pungent it would be a close call. At least they have the Rohirrim to look down on. Who do the Horse-“fanciers” look down on. Its difficult to look down on anyone when you reek of a shared stable... Mt.Gundabad remains in the hands of the leader of the Nazgul, but for how much longer??? Surely a worthy force of freeps must be making their way there by now? The only action of note last week was the destruction of the WK camp at 2204 by the Wood"men". Eeeeugh there bestial tendencies and personal hygiene almost make me think the Rohirrim could give them a run for their money in the festering sore stakes. No wonder the dwarves keep company with bearded women and the elves treat everyone else with disdain when the humans cant even remove the lice from their hair…i see IMLADRIS is revealed. How did that come about then???
MIRKYWOOD:
Its dark in there to allow the Woodmen privacy to do whatever it is they do with the woodland animals/trees/elves. No wonder the Dragon Lord couldnt wait to evacuate the place. The thought of all those shenanigans makes me queasy! And the ELVEN CONSPIRACY dares to take the moral highground on Our Lord SAURONS` selfless attempts to unite all of middle-earth under his peace-loving banner. The cheek of it! At DOL GULDOR last week BULRAKUR roundly “gubbed” the paltry band of elves with pointed sticks sent to bother his horses. This week the Woody road show has sent BORK to his death under the hooves of the mighty Dog Lord. Hoorah!!
RHUN [dont mispronounce it, it scares the FP generals]: The Forces of Sauron took a firmer grip on this backwater land last week with a crushing defeat of the defending 800HC of the moneylenders and traders guild [er, THE NORTHMEN]at Dilgul. The victory was in no small part aided by the lovely pet of UVATHA--LAMTHANC. Dilgul should burn this week. The Northmen and Dwarves [when they are sober enough to march] keep throwing troops into the area only to be outthought and outfought by the Blind Sorceror, Khand Easterlings and Long Rider. Perhaps they are in need of some intervention? Well tell you what, retreat back over the River Running and we`ll leave you alone. Of course you will have to answer to your Elven Overlords, but better that than death and dishonour, eh?
HARAD:
Oh dear, what a mess the Gondors have got themselves into here…they thought they would stroll into Harad and make a nuisance of themselves, team up and maybe even take something substantial, instead they are reduced to grubbing around in the hope of doing a spot of camp burning. And all the time superior forces are closing in on them. I bet your glad we didnt drop the southern bridge now, arent you??
UMBAR:
Almost as sorry a tale here. South Gondor keeps throwing resources at the folly that is 2135. Once again the Corsair troops beat them in battle. How much longer are you gonna send troops to their deaths, how much more gold are you gonna spend on an ultimately doomed operation? Im just trying to count how much youve spent already…2k on a camp, 4k on a village, 6k on a town, a new harbour. Not to mention all those turns spent recruiting and shipping troops, organising the mantle of doriath to hide your one town. Sure seems costly to me. And this is before you`ve even managed to break out from there…to where? Welcome to the desert Gondor-boy!
MORDOR AND THE PASS:
And so it begins…the long threatened assault on Morannon has begun in earnest. Indeed the Rohirrim under EOMER may even have enough troops to win the first battle at Thuringwathost, where he is met by the armies of the Dog Lord under KRUXTOGG and MAEKLUG. We`ll see. We can see more Freepies mustering at 3017 [which fell to the threat of Rohan last week] and several others approaching the Dog Lords capital City. This should be fun! We can see you, but can you see what lurks within the sheer walls of Mordor. It is brave coming to our front door, but we have been busy…quietly busy. The Dark Servants can also console themselves that the colonisation of the eastern bank will continue with the fall of 3026.
IN MEMORIAM:
Freeps; Bulash [NG Comm kidnapped at Pelargir].
And that`s all she wrote for this turn…
BELIAL, Mouth of Sand
Yup, as has been said many times…it’s a Character game.
You guys are definitely characters. It now appears you are also game.
That would be ‘game’ as in ‘prey’.
(P.S. Yes, as predicted, some holes are definitely getting filled, finally.)
No big talk comming out of mordor this day. For a really big suprise and to point out the very big error never bring a knife to a gun fight. A.K.A you got your butt handed to you but good. What can you do to top that give your mage arties to the free people as well. We can meet you in any hex you desire just let us know. Sorry as well to disapoint you on the war machines and that killer army. We were delayed due to the road being blocked. Too many Dark servant bodies on the road had to go around to the right. Had to go that way three more ds camps to burn how many does that make now im loosing track like 14 camps three towns. Sucks to be you good very good to be me ( still looking for your A game )
Big pie eater on a horse.
Smirk Big talk from someone that has yet to win a game.
- Ben
Dog Lord/Long Rider
Ok lets look at the score shall we Camps you burned belonging to free like 4 burned villages none. Important char like killer agents zero for you 4 agents over 100 for us. nations knocked out of the game 1 for us zero for you. You have not made it past 3017 but one time and that was our plan to let you spend the money and effort on getting thier just to get killed. Gondor still very strong you didnt make any inroads thier either. we are pushing on every front and you are hiding inside of Mordor. When I ask again When will you come out and fight. You call me a coward for burning all those camps and villages you can and will not be burning anything we own any time soon. This is just the start of your pain your capitols will burn one by one who is next?
Signed The PIE GUY
P.S. AS FOR HAVING ONLY PLAYED 4 GAMES THIS BEING THE 4TH IM KICKING YOUR ASS!!! Again where is your " a " game you have played 12 games and won only 25% of them you should be playing way better than this.
I personally have played more than 12, and have done quite well. You’re not kicking my ass as you claim since I am alive and well and in no danger at all. Come to Morannon if you’re feeling bold. The game is far from over, meat.
And please learn to write properly. Your drivel is quite unbecoming.
- Ben
Hey all,
Your friendly neighborhood NM here to say Hi. Up till now I have been content to quietly sit back and watch the goings on, but after that last turn I noticed there hasn’t been nearly as much DS propaganda. It has been so quiet I haven’t even heard so much as a MURMUR (get it) haha. So I felt it was my responsibility to rub it in a little. So what’s the tally this turn 3 assassin quality DS agents and 1 shmuck DS agent DOA, 7 FP hostages released, 3 DS armies stopped dead, and not a single FP casualty. Not a good turn for your side, I do have to thank you guys for one thing however, not burning Dilgul was great you saved me the 2K I would have had to spend to replace it. I am wondering though what you were thinking capturing a pop center that far from home. You should have known you couldn’t hold it. And after you captured it you split all of that HC and sent one of the armies off to get creamed by the Silvan this turn and the other to get squashed by NM reinforcements. You got to explain that one to me. Well that’s all the salt I have to pour in wounds this turn, so TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)
Chris
Just back from the front and yes the sun does shine bright on the nation of Rohan. Our armies have just burned another 4 yes count them 4 more camps. T up two more this turn as well what does the future hold for our great nation. How fitting we have Dragon lord capitol thanks for the donation however your makeing this to easy for me. Come get it back if you can but you have not made it past 3017 yet. Shall we send you a map so you can find it? Small brains big map accident waiting to happen your bound to get lost.
The Big Pie Eater
P. S your ( A ) game will come when ?
And you still didn’t make it to 3017 ( ha,ha,ha ) how pathetic come on already get a clue.
Yawn…ah that was a nice sleep, did i miss anything? The mighty Rohan [faulty strategy and all] still intact? Our agents still killing at will? Elven sneakies collared as per da plan? Rhun over-run?
Hello? Er aah, what? Bloody fools, i told them not to have that party at Thuringwathost! Never, ever drink dwarven spirits the night before a big “do”.
How the heck am i gonna put a positive spin on that? O I C. It`s all part of the “grand plan”. Well, i kinda have my doubts. After all, look at how mighty the enemy has become…look at their massive armies, taking whatever great pop.centres they want, their agents and cursers far superior to ours. Their economies way out in front. And you want me to sell this as a positive situation? Perhaps we should just sue for peace and acknowledge FP superiority?
Lemme think about it. I`ll get back to ya.
Belial, Mouth of Sand.
When you do decide to quit and admit you wooped might i ask for a grudge game as nothing would make me smile more than beating you two times in a row. You might also think about not doing the same mistakes the next game.
It blows my mind that you think my burning your camps, any I can get my hands on is a flaw in my game play. Its not just a char war its part military part economy as well. You have not weighted that side of the game enough in my opinion. Hard to play the char war without the ability to pay for said chars. You can count on my efforts to burn everything i can for the rest of the game and many more to come.
Theoden you pie pall