An even shorter screenplay.
FADE IN:
INT. QUARTERS OF REGENT CAPTAIN ADRAHIL II ON BOARD THE AMROTH, FLAGSHIP OF THE SOUTH GONDOR FLEET – NIGHT
ADRAHIL II startles awake.
ADRAHIL II
Who’s there?
JI INDUR
LandShark!How nice of Mornadak to drop by for tea.
One lump or two?
So, the part of Adrahil is being played by Laraine Newman? But you got Chevy Chase! I heard he hasn’t worked in a while. You must be quite the negotiator. 
Stinkin’ tea? Is that all you crummy dwarves got? Well its for sure now there will be no alliance between youse and us orcs!
And I’ll be handin’ out the lumps.
Finally back after a short stay in the hospital and rest at home.
I hope you are feeling better, Prindy, though I hope the rest of your game sucks.
Steve (or any other FPs, Neuts) -
Have we accounted for the Corsair player? Has anyone been in touch with the Corsairs? Do we know who is playing that position or even if it is currently filled?
In the interest of fair play as well as making this game last longer than 10 turns (i.e., repeat of Game 239), please, please send or forward the Corsair e-mail address immediately to montgomery9535@yahoo.com.
I would like to talk to the Corsair player.
By the way, nice move with the timber buyout, seems we underestimated the FPs abilities afterall. :mad:
Chris
Dog 27
I don’t know how he did it, but one of the negotiators on the FP side did apparently get the Corsair E-Mail address.
But you’ll have to wrest it from another source; why on Middle Earth do you think we’d help you chat him up?
Look, we’re gullible, but not stupid.
Or…uhm…something.
What abilities? No, no, by all means, continue to relax. We’re trying to figure out all the rules. There’s so many orders. I think we’re up to the 300s now. I figure by about Turn 22 or so we’ll have made all the way through the 900 series. So you’ve got plenty of time. Relax, drink some tea, enjoy the view. We’ll catch up with you soon enough.
- Steven K. Mariner
Dwarves-27
Not exclusively, it seems. The results of Turn 5 make it pretty clear the answer to the original question was “two lumps”.
I am sorry to hear you had a bout with the hospital and am glad you have returned. Good health to you (out of game) and die like the scurvy bastard you are (in game).
- Steven K. Mariner
Dwarves-27
Ahh… spoken like a true American sportsman. Win at all cost! Screw the competition. Any chance you would join our team next game? 
Well I guess I better sign up for the next 2950 game because the FP have wrapped up all neutral negotiations and everyone is flipping next turn.
Chris
Dog 27
i[/i] I believe I offered to join your team this game, but you declined. (I figured, what the heck, given that my Armies are going to Mordor anyway, why not save the toll fees?)
I’m trying to come up with a witty reply to this and am drawing a complete blank. Complete and total blank.
Wow.
I’m sure there’s some kind of ironic twist to those words, somewhere, but I’m just not able to lock phasers onto it.
How 'bout we just go ahead and run the next turn and see how it all comes out?
- Steve
Dwarves-27
For Sale or Trade: One soapbox. Shows wear from repeated use.
Not to spoil the surprise, but this coming turn you are gonna learn why they call me “El Polka”
Polk’d! Not that that really means anything, but was I worried about Osgiliath for nothing
Kindly remove your finger from my…
and while you are at it, please send more troops to Osgiliath. Rumor has it Sauron intends to personally apply a second coat of blood on the exterior walls. In preparation, our landscaping projects are coming along nicely, it is absolutely amazing the amount of blood Gondor is supplying for our efforts. Now that the our Fire & Ice team of interior decorators have arrived, we intend to start with the house cleaning. Tónn Varthkûr is preparing another fine bone sculpture, carefully selecting only the finest from the remains of Gondor’s fallen heroes.
Speaking of which… our hero Anborn has come to rescue Osgiliath? (feigned shiver), Now we are really frightened! What happen to all your veteran, ohh I mean “experienced” Commanders? Oh yes I recall now, dead. Make sure you refuse the personal challenges, we don’t want Anborn to get hurt before the battle! :eek:
Dendra Dwar
Okay, a little paranoia goes a long way in this game, and I am fairly paranoid in this game most of the time.
But…DIN OHTAR??? DIN FREAKIN’ OHTAR??? At the DWARVEN Capital???
What on Middle Earth are you doing way the heck up HERE???
JEEEEEEZ!!!
If I’d known you’d take the incursion into 4424 so badly I might have gone someplace else. YOWZ!!!
You very nearly wiped out my Capital crew there, buddy. Thank GOODNESS you dropped your hood in front of the town guard or somebody might have gotten hurt.
(Steps back) … (Eyes you closely) … Okay, Mr. Long Rider. We’re gonna’ watch you just a little bit more carefully from now on.
Nice catch of my poor Commander Groin, by the way.
Dirtbag.
Why don’t you go pick on somebody your own size?
I bet Bolg wishes Tonn had spent less time pursuing his higher interestests in primitivist art and more time fighting. Actually, I bet Bolg doesn’t wish much of anything anymore.
Din is just enjoying the Northern Springtime Tour, hosted by Sindar Caravan Lines. We told him not to travel under his own name, but the boy just doesn’t listen.
Yes, a fine prize to find on the battlefield! Groin is entertaining the troops by hanging from his, ummmmmm, welllll, you know! As a side note, Dwarves make great pinatas! You get a nice little squeak when you hit them with a stick.
I believe that is two lumps…
Oh, and don’t forget! That’s MR. Dirtbag to you!
Wow, very quiet. The DS must really be planning our demise here.
The poor dears.