Middle Earth News Network reports that Sauron’s doggedly determined front man, Dendra Dwar, is not concerned with Sauron’s recent slip in the polls. MENN sources report that Dendra Dwar released a brief reply to the FP’s taunting - “Sauron shall prevail.” Dendra Dwar was reported mastering his “spirits” spell list and was unavailable for further comment. Our reporters later learned that Tónn Varthkûr was available for comments. We caught up with the charming, quick witted, battle hardened, and always charasmatic Varthkûr on the eve of the unveiling of his bone sculpture in Osgiliath.
“Had we known the FP were so devious, we would have invited them to join us earlier,” laughed Tónn. “By locking up the neutrals with market buys, empty promises, and warpped reasoning, makes defeating the FP even more bitter sweet,” said Tónn between picking the meat off of yet another fallen Gondor soldier.
When asked about the loss of Bolg, Tónn replied “You reporters never understand military leaders or artists… you just don’t get it. As for Denethor’s little comment regarding our loss, I simply say those in glass keeps cast the first stone.” Tónn pointed out that the skulls of Faramir and Boromir play a prominent role in his “primitivist art” sculpture.
Tónn went on to explain that Bolg was a fine military leader and a close friend. Tónn reminded the people of Middle Earth that the DS forces mantra is UT PROSIM. For you latin lovers… look it up. “Our individualistic wishes are irrelevant to the needs of the people,” explained Tónn. Tónn reflected upon Bolg’s death with pride by saying “Bolg served well.”
Tónn later pronounced that Sauron is personally unveiling Tonn’s sculpture next week. Sauron’s spoke person, Urzahil, declined to comment due to security reasons. Alas the other Nazgul Nine for Truth were unavailable to validate Sauron’s visit, as many are rumored off recruiting dragons.
From you leader in Middle Earth’s breaking news - this is the MENN signing off.
