A feast can be had at Minas Ithil this coming turn and we are all wondering do the Gondorian’s have fluffy flowered undergarnments as is rumoured the Elves do?
Again with the undies! The Dark servants seem to have a perverse facination with this subject! 
Well, I suppose anything that isn’t a filthy rat-hide often used as emergency toliet paper would seem frivelous to an Orc. However well-crafted finely spun wool makes an excellent subsitute to wearing your offal on the outside like the nasty, stinking orc does so often. Naturally the edain tend to agree.
This is of course assuming undergarments have been invented by orcs and what they in fact do is simply often carry their toilet rag in their pants. A charming habit of a depraved life-form. We’re not sure in fact, could you please clarify?
We on the Dark Side are all convinced that this is what the war is about :rolleyes:
We prefer to use Dwarves as emergency toilet paper, very absorbant is your average Dwarf
See above
Originally Posted by Ecthelion
Again with the undies! The Dark servants seem to have a perverse facination with this subject!
The Underwear Inquiry started after Sauron left the party, it was late autumn and even later at night.
A capt… “coughs” voluntary bearded, hairy servant, claiming to be of Beornian ancestry was heavily surprised about our toothless jokes about Uncle Rens unmentionables. He claimed he could tell us old tales about elven, dwarven, dunadain and other peoples habits. These, he claimed, would amuse every Nazgul to his end of days, bring endless spasm of chuckle and really make eternity worth it.
Repeatedly referring to Nazguls as males was his undoing; Adunaphel, repeatedly annoyed being addressed; My Lord, Sir - was in a very nasty mood and we never heard his tale.
Loke:D:D:D
Gondorian under garments are not flowery, they are studded…
Orc undergarments are in for an even rougher time than usual. Gondors horns have been tuned to a pitch that causes the involuntary relaxing of the orcs sph…um, you get the idea.
:eek:
“Eek - pink” were Din O´s first words - twice!
After ordering some suspicious yellow liquid at The Blue Ostrea Club, the most popular establishment in Shrel-Kain, he was suddenly disturbed by a weird fellow with a sock on his head and bare feet. The sock was pulled down to the neck leaving his eyes, his mouth and most important, his nose free. After a short conversation Din O decided he had heard enough and demanded satisfaction. He got it, a duel was arranged immediately and it began. With the last slash Din O severed both one of Frumgaras arteries and his belt, lowering both his blood pressure and trousers; “Eek- pink” he said for the first time and stomped off.
With the duel he had attracted the unwanted attention of a bunch of would be tough guys, he took action at once, disguised himself as a mule trader and blended in. He lost all but one, this one somehow managed to blunder around in his vicinity. Had he grown a very stupid tail or was it pure coincidence, we will never know. What we know is that Din O surprised him in the dark, half drunk and about to get rid of some liquid. He started to run with his nether garments around the ankles, this is widely regarded as a very bad idea and it was. He was moaning, he was in pain right until Din O put him out of it. Then he saw the second pair of drawers of a certain color… A closer inspection revealed they belonged to a guy called Duda… something.
Loke:D:D:D
LOL! Absorbant Dwarves…the Underwear Inquiry…“eek-pink”…hilarious! 
I suppose you can add Taurnil’s undies to your collection, that traitorous elf Celedhring skulked his way into Caras Galadhon without being seen and interrupted the far more fair challenge I’d offered Urgabal. Do you really need 3:1 odds to steal a poor Elf’s briefs? 
You don’t know how long I sit and contemplated whether to refuse or go after Urgabal under the assumption he would want to attack and move. I knew Celedhring or Khamul might be there even though they weren’t reported, but I talked myself into it under the assumption he wouldn’t expect my army to meet him there and with only five commanders might not be able to spare one the first turn to back-up an army that probably wouldn’t need one immediately. Oh, well, at least they’re still stumbling through Lothlorian unable to find the hidden entrance. Celedhring’s magic must work far better slaughtering helpless Elves for their underthings than it does revealing pop centers.
Greetings Thranduil,
I’m so glad you had Taurnil accept the challenge from Celedhring thereby sparing the lives of so many orcs. :bash:
I think the fight was fair enough being in your hometown and all.
/Khamul
Well, he wasn’t exactly ‘accepting’ the challenge from Kellie the dark elf, he was challenging Urgie in hopes Khammie or Kellie weren’t skulking about. Didn’t save many Orcs either, the Sinda’s starting army in Lothlorian is pretty pathetic. Lemme see, off the top of my head I might have killed somewhere less than the equivelant of 500 HI, which would have just helped your dire economic situation a little bit.
You sure helped with mine, as did Nimrodel giving Caran-Carath his just reward and scooping up oodles of gold for the effort…and a spell that a certain traitorous little dark elf might be regretting she got in the future… 
Well despite what the turn results say, the real odds were more like 100:1 against poor helpless Taurnil. You’ve got his undies, will you be mounting them on a pike as a standard for your army? That sounds like something the Nazgul in this game would do!
Nice block outside Dol Guldor, but that only delays the inevitable. Your armies are lost in Lothlorian and Goblin’s Gate falls this turn. I won’t be underestimating you again, either.
I know - I got the rumour
I would have put his undies on a stick, but it seems he got affraid when Celedhring showed up instead of Ungubal. They weren’t really suitable to be hung if you know what I mean.
If you have excess gold, please send it to my capital. You know where it is.
Block? Celedhring was merely returning home for more supplies when Bain and friends showed up.
LOL!
So what did you do with his underthings? Feed them to the Orcs? Give them to Uvatha to sniff?
Don’t know if I’ll have any gold to spare, this Goblin’s Gate of yours looks like a real fixer-upper. Umm…were all kinda wondering when we got there and saw the condition…do you potty-train your orcs and goblins? It doesn’t look like it from that disgusting ooze all over the floors…
Uvatha stick his nose into Taurnils untidy tights - never, unthinkable, he only inspects the underwear of those he kills personally. Eoder however is in danger of loosing his pair of pink drawers to the Chief Underwear Inquisitor himself. Will they too show signs of fear induced browning? Better yet, how many Northmen will soil their pants in near future?
Loke:D:D:D
I betcha you’re pretty pissed at Eoder, that’s two turns now that main cav force of yours has not taken anything and now it’s gonna get whittled down. I suppose you justify that by how much it might save you economically, thus you should send a thank-you note to the brave Gondorians who caught your Mordor cav and crushed it this turn. Saved you a lot of gold, didn’t it?
Err…whatever makes you think Eoder’s briefs are pink? Have you been peeking? I hear you sniff them when you think your slaves aren’t looking…
Dear silly Elves
Uvatha enjoys meeting Eoder and his meek army. He was pretty pissed about galloping around for a month without any chance off wacking some Northmen. Unlike the elven tradition of bunching armed men together for massed poetry recitals or watching their commander foolishly getting killed, our men and camels want to fight - even if loosing. The knowledge of inflicting heavy losses on the Gondorians let them meet their doom with “a job well done” in their minds.
As both Dudannis and Frumgara sported those revolting pink drawers, so Uvatha expects them to keep Eoders nether regions from frostbite. Eoders chances of survival are not the best, Uvatha really wants to capture a live specimen, but injury or death are much more likely.
Loke:D:D:D
Uvatha is very pleased with himself, not only did he win his first battle - capturing Eoder was what he really wanted. Securing him in one of his specially tailored camel skin sacks, hung on a camel and fed with camel meat, will make him very cooperative when interrogating him about his favorite drawers.
Din O somehow managed to kill his third Northmen, with some luck he can keep this pace until there are no more:D
Loke:D:D:D
LOL! You and your Camels!
Poor Taurnil had been reading too much heroic poetry like the Lay of Leithian and wasn’t exactly expecting to face a traitorous dark elf, but some ugly bufoon named Urgabal of questionable heritage. What is that guy, anyways? He looks like an orc or perhaps a troll whose face caught on fire and someone stomped it out with a track shoe.
BTW, what exactly is that huge Blind Sorceror army doing on the ruins of Buth Ovaisa? Did you invite them for a party and they wrecked the place? We were most disappointed to find the place had been destroyed already, and all these ugly orcs of Akhorahil’s rampaging all over the place. You need to start hanging out with a finer breed of Orcs!
You will bow before me and ask for a lesson…get your pen ready.
I am your father
Arthedian
Nice to meet Murazors dad, never thought he was alive, being a Nazgul and all that normally takes care of the family. Guess his bow will be in good order to welcome those who are not invited, but then it is not only the Arthedain who seek/meet destruction.
Loke:D:D:D
The stinking rotten tribe called Eat-a-thing will suffer.
They have murdered the beautiful Lomelinde and Uvatha now decrees that they are not worthy of the camel they are sitting on, or riding on, or having an affair with (this is by the way a serious insult in the eastern parts).
Saurons least favorite rants on: “If this is the last thing I do, I will hunt down those murderers and kick them so hard that they reach the Elven retreat in the west and of course charge them for the Airfare”.
Officer D. Othar arrested a little bearded fat man leading a riot of other little fat bearded men at Caravad.
Loke:mad::mad::mad::D:D:D
Bob, what is the point of choosing a neutral nation and declaring t0, I dont get it.
Loke,
I wanted to see what damage a FP Easterling could do – because I’ve never seen it done.:eek:
None of this is personal against anyone - and I won’t take it personally if all of Mordor falls upon me as a result. Which I’m sure it may.
My decision was one based on curiosity and fun, and was made even before the game started. There is nothing more to “get” I’m afraid.
As far as killing Lomelinde, surely you noted the challenge was “roughly even.” I just got lucky.
Bob